It was just one of those things that happened. Slowly, and without any of them even really noticing. The trip to Texas is when it started, she could see the chemistry between them, she wondered why she hadn't noticed it before. They challenged each other in a way that she couldn't imagine being able to do. It wasn't easy; watching her best friend fall in love with her first love. But she loves them both, and she just wants them to be happy, and if they make each other happy so be it. She'd step back for them, even if it was killing her inside. Her smile was becoming a little less bright and a little more fake with every passing day. It never reached her eyes anymore and overall she just wasn't the bright and bubbly "Smiley Riley" she was before. She must have been a damn good actor because no one seemed to notice. Not one person had called her own on her less than enthusiastic self and she was glad. As much as she wanted them to be happy she wasn't quite done building the wall around her feelings and thoughts to protect herself yet. It wasn't as if they were throwing it in their face, she could tell that they were fighting what they were feeling and it needed to stop.

Riley was sitting at their usual booth at Topanga's while she thought about this. Farkle was a few tables over having what looked to be an intense debate about who knows what with his girlfriend, Isadora. Directly across from Riley were the two people on her mind. The two people who was sitting next to each other, but were deliberately trying not to touch and being way too polite for any conversation between Maya and Lucas. Not that she was listening to what they were talking about, she was very much stuck in her own head trying to figure out what to do. She needed them to get over whatever this was and just start actually dating, even if she really didn't want them to. She was pulled out of her musings by a sharp,

"Riles."

"Yes?" She jerked her head to face her best friend, who was giving her a half annoyed, half amused look.

"I called your name four times. What were you thinking about so hard?"

"Nothing Peaches. Just spaced out for a minute. Did you need something?"

"My mom just finished her shift, and Shawn's taking us out to dinner tonight so I'm out of here."

"Isn't that dinner twice this week?" Maya's responding smile told her everything she needed to know. "That's great, Peaches! Bay window tonight?"

"Sure Sweetie. I'll see you later," she paused briefly before saying, "Bye Huckleberry." Her stare lingered on him and Riley could swear she saw her blush a little before she turned to meet her mother at the door of the cafe.

"Bye Maya," Lucas said almost reverently. Maya was well out of sight before Riley cleared her throat drawing his attention away from the door.

"Sorry," he said while shaking his head as if to clear it.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for Lucas, and you don't have to stay. You can head home. I'm waiting for my mom to close up tonight anyways."

"Hey, I don't mind, we're still friends aren't we?" He asked almost hesitantly. Riley put on the brightest smile she could muster,

"Of course we're still friends Lucas, why wouldn't we be? Now as your friend can I offer some advice?" He looked at her questioningly and nodded for her to continue. "Go get your girl. Stop beating around the bush and just be together. I have eyes you know? You love her, and not just puppy love. You are in love with her. So stop hesitating and be with her." His eyes were glued to the table and his hands were doing that twitching thing they did when he is uncomfortable.

"Riley…" he trailed off before looking up at her with an almost painful expression. If we hadn't been looking directly at each other she probably wouldn't have heard him say,

"I'm terrified of losing you." She gave him a half smile and he continued,

"You're one of my best friends. I don't want to hurt you. I want you in my life"

"Lucas, sometimes we have to be a little selfish. She's what you want. You'll never be happy if you don't go for it."

She didn't want to promise that they would always be best friends. She knew in her heart that things were going to change irrevocably, and she would slowly fade from their lives. That thought hurt, but it was for the best. People were tiptoeing around her feelings and making it so much more awkward than it needed to be. Once she had pushed the two of them together she would take a step back. She would let them discover their relationship and be happy together and she would gradually make her retreat. She wasn't stupid. No one was ever going to pick her over Maya. Maya was beautiful, adventurous, spirited and an overall amazing person. Riley was too tall, with an average face, and what she considered a boring personality. No, no one would ever choose her.

The wall of fake happiness almost cracked at the radiant smile he gave her. She knew he was holding back his feelings because of her and for her to really tell him to go for it must have meant a lot to Lucas.

"Thank you, Riley." He said quietly as he slipped from their booth and out of Topanga's.

Riley kept her head down as she started to gather her things from the table. She wasn't really waiting for her mom, but she didn't want to force Lucas to stay and be awkward with her. He was trying so hard to be neutral even though anyone with eyes could see that it was Maya he wanted. She was so busy trying to keep her emotions at bay that she didn't notice the boy who slid into the booth across from her.

"You okay Riles?" Farkle asked making Riley jumped. She had her hand held over her heart as she tried to slow it down.

"What the crap Farkle? You just scared me half to death!" She said overdramatically while cracking a real smile.

"Sorry," he chuckled. "Your conversation seemed intense I just wanted to check on you." He was staring at her intensely trying to get a read on how she was feeling.

"I'm fine. I was just telling Lucas he didn't need to worry about me and that he should just admit he's in love with Maya." She said it so nonchalantly that Farkle was conflicted on whether or not to believe she was okay.

"You sure you're okay with that?" He asked cautiously. Farkle knew how much Riley loved Lucas until just recently it was written all over her face. Over that past four months since they had returned from Texas Farkle watched as Riley retreated into herself. It wouldn't have been obvious to the untrained eye. Hell he was pretty sure her parents didn't notice and he knew damn well that Maya hadn't noticed. Her supposed best friend didn't see that she was dying inside. Riley hid it well, but Farkle saw the spark in her eyes slowly fading. He wasn't sure if Josh had noticed, but Farkle was almost positive he had. Josh had become a lot more protective of his younger sister recently. He guessed he was one of the only ones to notice because he had been watching Riley since the first grade. All through elementary and middle school he learned to read her. Now that they were in high school they were all still best friends, but they didn't have all of their classes together anymore. He and Riley had bonded over AP classes and never ending homework that Lucas and Maya just couldn't relate to. They were by no means stupid, but they were taking different levels of some of their classes. He and Riley knew each other inside and out and that's why he was concerned. She was hiding from him. He had gotten used to her not being quite as open as she had been in middle school with other people, but she had never hid from him before.

"Stop worrying Farkle. I'm fine, truly. They'll make each other happy and Maya deserves all the happiness she can get." Riley told him firmly.

As per usual Riley was more concerned about her friends happiness than her own.

"Riley," Farkle started only to be cut off by Riley's poor attempt at changing the subject.

"Where is Isadora? I know you were studying with her. Is she still here?" Farkle took pity on her for now, but he was going to get to the bottom of this.

"Yeah, she is waiting over at our table. I wanted to check on you."

"That's sweet Farkle, and now you've seen that I'm fine," she said to him as she stood from the booth. "Now you can head back over to her and spend time with your girlfriend. I'm going home anyways." She kissed him on the cheek and whispered, "You're a great friend." With a quick wave to her mom she was out the door.

Farkle watched her disappear up the stairs as he returned to his table. He couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen. Isadora pulled him from his head before he could get lost in his thoughts.

"Everything okay?" She asked. Isadora and Riley had become more or less friends over the past four years. Moreover the time they were in high school than in middle school so it wasn't unusual for Isadora to ask about Riley. She really had tried to become friends with his friends, but sometimes they were just too different. They were all friendly and she was never excluded from the things they did, but she wasn't close with any of them.

"I honestly don't know," he told her.

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Riley offered her dad a quick hello before retreating to her room. There was only a few hours before Maya will show up and she needs to get her emotions under control before she does. Riley was upset about the conversation with Lucas, but that wasn't what was bothering her right now. She absolutely hated lying to Farkle. He was her best friend. She wasn't okay, but she couldn't tell him that. She had to protect her friends. Her feelings were her problem and no one else's. She didn't want put Farkle in the position of having to take sides. Lucas and Maya were his friends too and she wasn't going to be responsible for any problems in the group. Farkle had Isadora, student council, science club and so many other things to keep him busy. She was sure when the time came she would be able to slowly fade into the background without him noticing.

She turned on her ipod, crawled under the covers and buried her head in her pillows. It was probably half an hour later and she was so engrossed in her thoughts and the music she didn't hear her door open and someone come in her room. So when someone sat on her bed she screamed.

"Woah, calm down," Josh chuckled at her as he pulled the pillow off her head. She glared at him from her spot beneath the covers and stuck her tongue out at him.

"Oh real mature Riles. What are you doing under there anyways?" He asked somewhat amused at her childish attempts to distract him, but he could see the dried tear streaks down her cheeks..

They were less than a year apart and up until a few months ago incredibly close. Like Farkle, Josh had noticed his sister pulling away from him and he didn't like it. He had always been her protector. There was nothing she couldn't come to him with when she needed someone and vice versa. He was the one she came to when she was being bullied in the 8th grade. She told him about her first kiss with Lucas and he had talked her through her nerves before her first date. He had been there for her when she and Lucas decided not to be a couple yet. He was there every time she tried out for cheerleading both to cheer her on because he believed in her and to pick up the pieces when she didn't make the team. She had cried on his shoulder more times than he could count and he couldn't remember a time when she hid anything from him.

Now it was like his sister was becoming a new person. She was quieter and he could hear her crying herself to sleep every night. He was impressed with the act she managed to put on for their parents. To them she was still the same old bubbly Riley. Two years ago her act never would have worked, but mom had become a partner at the firm and their dad had taken on the role of being a vice principal and teaching so their plates were a little full. They were always their for his baseball and basketball games and whatever Riley and Auggie had going on, but he didn't think they were looking too closely to be able to tell that Riley had changed.

"I'm just tired," she said quietly cutting into his thoughts. His eyes narrowed. Did she really think she could lie to HIM? Their parents? Sure. Lucas? Yes. Maya? Lately absolutely. But she couldn't lie to him.

"Then why are you crying?" He asked. He wasn't going to be around the bush right now.

"Allergies," was her reply. Josh rolled his eyes at her.

"You really think I'm going to believe that?"

"What do you want Josh?"

"What's wrong Riley?"

"Nothing. I'm fine, everything's fine."

"Bull."

They were both getting angry. Riley was getting mad at Josh for prying and Josh was angry that Riley was lying.

"Why are you lying to me? What happened? Why won't you talk to me?"

"There's nothing to talk about Josh. EVERYTHING IS FINE!" She yelled as she threw off the covers and walked across the room to get away from him. Not that it did any good because he just followed her. She was standing with her back to him staring out the window.

"Just go away Josh," she whispered.

"Talk to me Riley," he said as he gently turned her around to look at him. He could see the tears in her eyes, along with the fierce determination to not let them fall. Josh pulled his sister into a hug silently begging her to let him in so he could help her. After two minutes of her refusing to talk or even hug him back he sighed and stepped back.

"I'll leave you alone for now Riles, but you will talk to me eventually." He gave her one more searching look before going to his own room leaving Riley on her own.