The tale of filch
Chapter One
One day Filth was in the closet getting a blowjob from 2 students he had punished for running the halls when suddenly the closet door flew open "MR FILTH" it was Dumbledore looking furiously pissed "WHAT ARE YOU DOING"
"Im having a bit of fun with me boys" he said unabashed
"Oh no your NOT" Dumbledore started to get off his wand "YOUR FIRED! All you do is run around the halls and forcefully make love with Mr. Norris and watch porn instead of doing your work Im FED UP! YOUR FIRED!" He got off his wand and started to hex Filth but he was to slow Filth got out his wand first. He screamed "AVADA KEDAVRA" at random and immediately Dumbledore died and so did the 2 students "Well well thats just too bad" said Filch looking sadly at the bodies of his boyfriends Colin and Penis Creevey. "Ill just have to find me a new boyfriend" he hid the bodies under some cleaning equipment then left the closet to leave Hogwarts since he had been fired Then saw a lightbulb "A-ha, I killed dumbledore so not only am I not fired but I get to replace him!" He hurried up to Dumbledores orfice and went inside "Lemon drop" he knew the password because he was the janitor and he knew everything. Inside the orfice was Dumbledores boyfriend Flitwick
"What are you doing here" warbled Flitwick
"I killed dumbledore so now I am HEADMASTER" and you are my lover" Before Flitwick could do anything Filch conjured a bed and tackled Flitwick into it. Flitwick gave a yell of alarm but was quickly silenced when Flinch jammed himself into Flitwick and they made love for the very first time.