Author's Note: I haven't planned this out, but I'm determined to make a Star Trek/Batman crossover work somehow! I'll try to update regularly.
"Captain, there appears to be a Class M planet in a star system not far from the USS Abel's last known position," said Spock, without taking his eyes away from the scanner. "The third planet in the gamma-gemini system."
Captain James Kirk nodded slowly and said, "We'll check it out. Sulu, plot a course. Warp two."
"Warp two, Sir," repeated the helsman.
The scout vessel had been missing for weeks before anyone had been able to launch a search party. Kirk wasn't overly optimistic, but he felt he owed it to the Abel's crew to make sure that if they were out there, they would be found and rescued.
It wasn't long before the Enterprise was in orbit of gamma-gemini-III and able to scan in more detail; almost immediately, the word, "Fascinating" slipped through the science officer's lips.
"Yes, Mr Spock?" said the captain, rising from his chair.
"It would appear that the development of this planet almost exactly mirrors that of Earth," he replied. "However, it does not appear that its inhabitants have developed warp capabilities yet."
"Have you scanned for a possible wreckage?"
"I am picking up traces of duranium in the Northern continent, near a large city," said Spock.
"Right. Mr Spock, you're with me." Kirk pressed the intercom. "Kirk to McCoy. Come in Doctor McCoy."
"Yes?" came the slightly impatient response.
"I need you in transporter room two with a medkit in five minutes. We might have found the Abel, and there may be survivors who need medical attention."
"Understood, Captain."
"Scotty, you have the conn," said the captain, and he led Spock into the turbolift.
The away team materialised in a large canyon a short distance from the city. There were shards of hull half-buried in the sand; following the twisted pieces of metal and patterns in the sand quickly led them to the crash site. There wasn't much left of the ship, and what remained of the bridge was already starting to fill with sand and pebbles. There were three mounds next to the wreckage, each marked with a single stone.
Kirk turned to Spock, who was adjusting a woolly hat to cover his ears. "How many people were aboard the Abel?"
"I believe there were five crew members, Captain."
"Well then," said McCoy. "Looks like some of them made it at least. What now?"
"We look for them, Doctor," said Kirk, looking at the sprawling city ahead.
Spock raised an eyebrow. "How do you propose to find them? Looking for two people in a city as large as the one before us would be, as you humans would say, like searching for a sewing implement in a stack of dried grass."
"He does have a point, Jim – where are we supposed to begin?"
Kirk thought hard. If the Vulcan and the Doctor had managed to agree on something, it must be serious. Luckily he was struck by inspiration. "We should be able to use our tricorders to scan for federation technology. If I were marooned on a strange planet, I'd carry my phaser as a precaution."
"Calibrating my tricorder now," said Spock.
The three men walked towards the road, before following it into the outskirts of the city. The buildings were dark and shadowy, and the skyscrapers in the distance seemed to loom ominously over the people below.
"I'm picking up a signal, Captain," said Spock. "It appears to be coming from that direction." He pointed over to what looked like an abandoned industrial estate.
They followed the winding road down to where the signal originated, past a burned out factory and a smashed up warehouse, all the way to what looked like it used to be a children's play centre. There was a ghoulish clown painted on the wall, and a sign that rattled with every gust of wind boasting, The funnest house in town!
McCoy looked to his companions. "What in blazes are we doing here? Why would the survivors of the Abel end up in this dump?"
"Only one way to find out," said Kirk, walking towards the entrance and motioning to the others to follow.
He didn't know what he was expecting when he pushed the door open, but a group of freakish clowns pointing old-fashioned guns at him wasn't it. He threw his hands up in surprise and kept them there as the reality of the situation hit him.
"What have we got here?" grunted one of the clowns, a fat, balding man with a gruff voice and sneering eyes.
Kirk looked to McCoy and Spock, and then back to the clown. "We're lost," he said. "We were looking for some friends, but we must have taken a wrong turn. If you'll just put the gun down, we'll be on our way."
"Not so fast," came a voice, before a woman in a red and black harlequin costume seemed to appear out of nowhere. "Who are these friends of yours?" She studied Kirk intently, jumping atop a large octopus, which must have been part of a ride.
"They had an accident recently," said Kirk evasively. He looked at McCoy. "This man is a Doctor. He needs to check them over."
"Ya don't say..." said the harlequin, her blue eyes narrowed. She shrugged. "Well, you ain't gonna find them here."
"So can we go?" asked Kirk tentatively.
"I don't know," she said, shaking her head in an exaggerated gesture. "I think Mistah J might wanna have a word with you before we let you go." She nodded at the clowns, who quickly covered their mouths and noses with gas masks, before tossing a smoking grenade at Kirk's feet.
"Buh-bye!" she sang as she bounded out of the way and the Starfleet officers slumped to the ground.