Shepard walked into her cabin and flicked on the lights. It had been a brutal mission on Thessia and the Commander had never felt this defeated. She had told Liara that it was not her fault but she never told her that it wasn't her own fault. It was her job to prevent this, to make sure what had happened to Earth would not happen to another world and she failed. And now an entire race was paying the price for her failure, Liara the woman she loved was paying the price.
Rage filled Shepard body as she clenched her fists. She slammed them down hard on her desk and swiped the table clean in a vicious blow throwing some objects against the wall. The Commander turned and propelled one of her fists into the wall with a powerful punch that rocked her hand with bolts of pain. The pain only fueled her rage as she lifted her chair and threw it across the room before collapsing on to the ground. Her face was dripping with sweat and her knuckles with blood. She crawled her way over to a wall and leaned up against it for support, and then she hung her head down and tried to slow her breathing as she gasped for air. The door to the cabin slid open and Garrus Vakarian slowly walked in scanning the damage in the room.
"Shepard…. I" Garrus stumbled to find the words to comfort the Commander.
"What do you want Garrus?" Shepard said without lifting her head to face her Turian guest.
"Well I was just coming up to see how you were doing. I guess I got my answer." Garrus said.
"Just please leave me alone Garrus. I don't need you to cheer me up. " Shepard said.
"Shepard this wasn't your fault." Garrus said trying to comfort her.
"Yes it was Garrus! It was my job to protect them to protect everyone from this and now I've failed and we might lose this entire war because of me! Because I couldn't stop Cerberus!" Shepard shouted back.
"Shepard its one defeat. If I gave up every time I got my ass handed to me I wouldn't be here right now. So what If Cerberus got the jump on you once." Garrus said.
"It's a defeat the galaxy can't afford. We put all our chips in this Protheon weapon and now we don't even know how to fire it!" Shepard said back.
Garrus fidgeted awkwardly as he tried to think of what to say. He had never seen Shepard like this and he hoped he never would again.
"There's still hope Shepard. We are going to beat them you are going to beat them. You're the best damn soldier I've ever met and there is no one else who could do this." Garrus said.
"There isn't hope. My people are dying, your people are dying, Liara's people are dying and there isn't a damn thing we can do about it. I'm not a good soldier the first squad I was given command of was whipped out in our first mission and I was promoted for it. 5o marines were slaughtered in front of my eyes on Akuze Garrus and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. I thought I could make up for that but now everything is falling apart. There were Asari we met on the ground I told them that if they held on and didn't retreat that we would be able to finish the Crucible, that we would end this war. I listened to them as they died Garrus. And their sacrifice was for nothing." Shepard said as she brought her knees to her chest.
Garrus sat down next to her on the floor.
"Shepard it's not your job to save everyone, you can't. But that doesn't mean you can't save the rest. Another world might fall another dozen might fall but I'm not giving up so long as I still draw breath and neither are you. " Garrus told her.
"…You're right. I'm sorry. It's just watching Thessia fall and having it been for nothing. And knowing there's nothing I can do to make it better." Shepard said.
"Like hell there is. You can kick the Reapers asses back into dark space. And I'm going to be right beside you when you do." Garrus said.
Shepard smiled and looked into the Turian's eyes.
"Thank You Garrus." Shepard said as she pulled the Turian in for a hug.
"It's what I'm here for Shepard. Now what do you say we go get some food down in the mess I'm starved." Garrus said as he stood back up and extended a hand to the Commander.
Shepard took his hand and the Turian pulled her to her feet.
"Sure. I am pretty hungry." Shepard answered.