Training Hermione

This is my new short fiction, I'm still working on an affinity for living, but this struck me as an amusing change of tone. Inspiration struck...I wrote...Hope you enjoy...read and review.

THIS STORY IS DEDICATED TO ANYONE WHO HAS EVER BEEN OVERWEIGHT OR WHO STRUGGLES WITH THEIR WEIGHT

Chapter 1

Severus Snape truly begrudged spending his hard earned galleons, teaching insipid dunderheads for more years than he would care to remember, on clothes. Unfortunately for him and any other male who disliked the drudgery of clothes shopping, social convention dictated that in order to appear in polite society, one must actually clothe one's flesh. If Severus had have had his way he would have been able to wear nothing, and make everyone else wear nothing too. Then he would not have to waste his precious weekends dragging around Diagon Alley looking for warmer outfits.

It was true he wore teaching robes seven out of seven days a week, but when the weather turned arctic, and it did in Scotland, he was forced to purchase a new coat, scarf, gloves and various other wintry objects of clothing...including a new hot water bottle, preferably one without a teddy bear cover. Having received such an offensive object last Christmas from Professor Dumbledore, he was loathe to use the smiling bear whose name his tag told him was Edward bear, so instead he would shiver in his quarters, Edward bear had been shoved in the drawer so he was unable to mock the man further.

Another unfortunate issue for the Potions Master was the fact that the only place to buy the best kind of clothing created by Wizards' was Madam Malkins. Even the thought of having to have the fussy little ball of a woman measure him, made him throw up just a little bit into his throat. Happening upon the shop he swallowed the bile/porridge mixture back into his stomach, and with a deep breath Severus pushed open the shop door and stepped over the threshold. As his eyes adjusted to the dim light of the store, which Madam Malkin had purposely had installed to make her outfits more flattering, he was greeted with a wail and a sob coming from one of the changing rooms at the back of the shop.

"Why doesn't it fit? It's huge it should fit...it's magical for Merlin's sake."

Severus sneered; some unfortunate female, who was unable to fit into some inappropriate dress, no doubt was having a melt down and blaming the fabric. He chuckled meanly to himself as he picked up a soft pair of black leather gloves from next to a twisted mannequin...no sense in denying his signature colour.

"It looks lovely on you dear," the simpering voice of Madam Malkin replied to the cry.

'That's a lie I bet,' Severus thought pulling a glove onto one hand.

"That's a lie!"

Severus shrugged his shoulders as he heard the other woman shout back.

"I look like that bloody hippopotamus from Fantasia, the one in the bloody pink skirt!" A Muggle reference Severus noted, she must be a Muggle born...even more unfortunate, she will stump Madam Malkin with that response. As expected the seamstress did not reply to that, aside from a confused ermmm.

As Severus popped the glove back onto the side board, he heard heavy footsteps and was jostled by a crying girl desperately trying to remove herself from a too small set of pink dress robes.

"Excuse me," she sobbed wiping her eyes.

"Perfectly fine," Severus paused as he realised who this whale was who had just rammed into him in her despair "Miss Granger."

"Oh Merlin...Professor Snape...I'm terribly sorry I didn't mean to come crashing into you," her apology just brought more tears from her still lovely hazel eyes, and Severus felt slightly sorry for the girl...for about a minute.

"What are you wailing about Miss Granger? I could hear you across the shop."

Hermione paused for a moment before spilling her guts metaphorically to the Professor. "I came to buy some new robes for the Hogwarts Christmas party Dumbledore is hosting this year, and I can't find any that fit me...I'm such a Heffalump."

"A.A Milne would be proud," Severus sniffed. "I'm aware of the party of which you speak Miss Granger having been forced to attend it myself, also...unlike you, I shall just dress as I normally would."

"I'm going to have to go naked if I don't find something soon," Hermione sighed and brushed some fluff from her now more than ample breasts, this caused Severus to take in the full extent of the somewhat new Miss Granger. The Hermione he had known at Hogwarts was still there, but now there seemed to be more of her to love as the Muggles would say. She still had the same bushy brown hair, straight teeth and pretty face but it was shrouded by an extra eight or nine stone of weight Snape estimated. This bloated her and made her look like a balloon that was ready to pop, she shrugged her weight when she walked as well, this was demonstrated as she wandered off to swap back to her tent dress she had come in.

When she made her way back into the front of the shop, she found Severus still stood in the same place considering her.

"In the most polite way possible Sir, why are you looking at me like that? I'm aware that I look different...but...it's rude to stare." Snape merely gave Hermione a half smile she had never seen before, and then he spoke.

"Miss Granger would you care to join me for a cup of tea?"

Twenty minutes later found Hermione Granger and Severus Snape in a quaint little tea shop just outside of York. Having apparated there on Hermione's request, which Snape was more than happy to do, to just to avoid the questions about why he was suddenly dining with Hermione Granger. The waiter brought Hermione and Snape a pot of tea and Hermione squirmed uncomfortably.

"Would you like something else Miss Granger?" Hermione bit her lip slightly before squeaking out that she would love a piece of lemon cake, if that was amenable to him. Severus nodded and gestured for the younger man to bring Hermione a piece of cake with ice cream, the girl practically swooned when the cake arrived and she heartily tucked in. It was clear to Severus in this instance, how Hermione had managed to pile the weight on.

"I'm such a pig...I'm sorry Professor would you like some?" Severus waved his hand dismissively and let her carry on eating. When she had finished he surveyed her over his teacup.

"So you plan to attend the Hogwarts Christmas Ball naked do you Miss Granger? That would be interesting."

Hermione coloured up rather prettily and shrugged "I think I will have to unless I can charm some robes to fit me out of an old big top." Severus tried not to chortle even though the joke had been at her expense; a small part of him had felt sorry for the girl, and had brought her out to cheer her up.

Biting the bullet he decided it was time to address the issue at hand here, and posed his question with only the tact possessed by him.

"How did you end up so big Miss Granger?"

Hermione shrugged and replied "Good living, a desk job at the Daily Prophet and feeding Ron the same way his mother did...except in my case it caught up with me and he apparently couldn't hack that look on me?" Her eyes filled with tears again, Severus offered her his napkin which she gratefully took, hers was covered in lemon icing.

"I thought that if he couldn't love me the way I was now, then he shouldn't have me at all...but now I think... have I made a mistake?"

"I am certainly not one to give relationship advice Miss Granger, but if that dim-witted buffoon couldn't accept a brilliant know it all such as you, how you are now, then he really is not deserving of you."

"So I'm not only the brightest witch of my age now but I'm the heaviest." Hermione sighed and looked remorsefully at the empty cake plate.

"Would you like some more?" he asked gesturing to the plate.

"No..." she sighed.

"Good because I did not intend to buy you anymore Miss Granger...one is sufficient for anybody...especially a girl who from now on is going on a Hogwarts Christmas Ball diet."

"I beg your pardon Sir?" Hermione snorted into her tea.

"Miss Granger I am no longer your Professor and if I intend to help you with this...you really should use my name."

"I'm sorry erm... Snape."

"Merlin...call me Severus Miss Granger, this will be the only chance you will ever get this offer...accept it or leave now." Hermione nodded and accepted the offer.

"Severus," she tried still choking slightly on the tea that had gone down the wrong way.

"How do you intend to help me?" she asked nervously. "Do you have a special potion or?"

Severus laughed loudly at her ignorance, "Do you honestly think I have a weight loss potion Miss Granger? I thought you were clever? If I had that sort of power at my disposal I wouldn't be here scraping a living as a teacher, I would be in the Bahamas under a parasol."

Hermione hung her head in shame, Severus then felt slightly rotten for berating her. Since the fall of the Dark Lord and his acquittal from any part of the war, Severus had managed to live a quieter life and this in time had brought back the sense of humanity and compassion he had lost having to work for Voldemort, and this was rearing its ugly head towards Hermione.

"My apologies Miss Granger...and no it would not be potion but hard work, exercise and diet. Unfortunately even Wizards have been unable to develop a quick fix for getting rid of any extra weight we are carrying...look at Umbridge." This made Hermione belly laugh and for the first time since their meeting, she smiled at him as she had when she was a student.

"Do you really think I could do it...Severus?" she asked warily looking down at her frame.

"You are the brightest witch of your age Miss Granger...you tell me?"

"Hermione, please...ok...when do we start?"

"I shall meet you at your home tomorrow morning...early; we have much to do...Hermione."