One
"Look, I'm sorry."
"No, you're not!" She countered. "Running around with the mudblood, blood traitor, and cowardly Gryffindor. Even snog a werewolf!" He froze right in his place, turning around to look at his mother. She was taller than he remembered. A small smile tugged at her mouth. "Did you think I wouldn't find out? I'm your mother, there is nothing you can hide from me or Orion."
"It's not what you think." He tried. He knew there was no way out of this. With Kreacher behind him and his mother in front, there was no way that he would get out of this unscathed.
"I don't care. You are no longer my son or the heir to the Noble House of Black. You will suffer from your disrespect..."
"And then you will die..." Orion finished, appearing at her side. "And so will that monster. After all, he shouldn't be alive."
"No. No, you're wrong! Don't touch him! Don't lay a fucking FINGER on him!"
"That's the least of your concern." Walburga and Orion raised their wands and pointed it towards their first-born son. "Crucio!" They both yelled. He doubled over, never have they both used the curse on him at the same time. His whole body was on fire. As if his blood had been replaced with it. He felt like he was being stabbed everywhere simultaneously, over and over. Someone was surely shattering his bones. He needed it to end. His throat was surely bleeding from his screams. Just before he was going to black out, it stopped. "Beat him," Orion said plainly. Kreacher stepped forward and, with all his force, began to kick his sides and stomach and chest. Sirius looked up, his vision blurred and stars dancing at the corners. This was Kreacher, but he was larger. Just as tall as Walburga. Over and over he kicked. "Think about this. This is how the monster will die. Knowing that he is one. Being told you couldn't stand him." All Sirius wanted to think about was making it stop, but he knew he couldn't. No matter how long he had to endure it, he had to make sure Remus would be ok. That they wouldn't touch him. "Enough Kreacher. Fetch Regulus." Kreacher bowed his head and disapparated, giving time for Sirius to catch his breath. He hadn't learned to apparate yet and he was wandless, so all he could do was lay there. When he returned, he had Regulus by the elbow and threw him to the center of the room. "Regulus. Do you know that your dear brother is a traitor? You were closest to him, so you must take the most offense..." Walburga said."Don't you want your take?" Regulus shook his head, flashing Sirius a fearful look.
"Cast the curse, son." Regulus didn't move. Not even as Orion handed him his wand. "Take it, son." He still didn't move. "Take it, or you will be punished alongside this boy."
"It's okay, Regulus," Sirius said through pants. "Please- do it, it would be way worse, anything you could ever do could never be as bad as it happening to you, especially when I could have taken your place." Slowly he grabbed the wand, face tear-streaked. "Please." Sirius pleaded. Regulus, now sobbing silently with Sirius, raised Orion's wand.
"I'm sorry."
"It's ok. Please." The brothers looked at each other. "Please." Regulus just stood there. Locking eyes with his brother, on the floor, on his back and clutching his side.
"Cr-" He tried, but all that came out was a mangled sob. "Cr- I can't. I can't, don't make me." He couldn't suppress the whole body sob as he ran to his brother and clutched him, dropping Orion's wand at his feet.
"Pity." Was all that Orion said before he picked his wand up and pointed it at Regulus. "Crucio!" He said with no expression. Sirius screamed and went to attack his father, ignoring every single nerve, every fiber that was on fire. To make a grab at his wand, do something to make Regulus stop sounding like that. He wasn't used to this type of punishment as Sirius was. He would do absolutely anything.
"Sirius." He could hear someone call him, over everything else. "Sirius."
He was crying. Tears streaming down his face and grunting every few seconds, breathing getting deeper and quicker. Looking down at his pale, sweaty face and trembling body, Remus shook his shoulder, having his other arm rest over his chest and face, in case Sirius woke up and tried to lash out, which he usually did. He was right. When Sirius woke, he grabbed the arm that Remus had on his shoulder and tried to twist it away, using his other to grab the forearm Remus had protectively in front of him and yank it forward. Remus was stronger than Sirius, so the effort to twist his arm away went nowhere. He quickly gave up and went to claw his face. Careful to avoid going directly at Sirius's head, he directed his boyfriend's hands away from hitting him. All of this happened in less than a second or two while Remus softly spoke out to him, using his nickname, figuring Sirius would recognize that first. "Hey, hey Padfoot. Pads. It's me. It's ok. You're safe." He froze and took in his surroundings. The fear in his eyes slowly disappearing and reappearing as embarrassment. Releasing Remus and muttering "Sorry, forgot the charm," he turned around on his side, putting his back to Remus. As much as he tried to hide it, this motion made him wince and suck in breath through gritted teeth, nothing Remus wouldn't notice.
"What charm?"
"Silencing. Go back to bed."
"Are you ok?" No answer. "Can I stay?" Yet again, Sirius said nothing. Remus stood up and put his arms under Sirius, making him flinch. He shoved him very gently a little closer to the edge, giving Remus room to climb in and lay next to them. "Wanna talk about it?" Sirius shook his head. "If it makes you feel better, you didn't wake me up. I just noticed you were starting to have a nightmare." He nodded.
"Why where you up?"
"Bad dream."
"Wanna talk about it?"
Remus shook his head. Sirius scoffed and turned around in his arms, only wincing a little, a smile playing at his lips as he feigned offense. "Making fun of me, Lupin? I'm hurt." He laughed gently, but it didn't reach his eyes. He shifted more and leaned up to kiss him, but Remus moved away a little, unnoticed by Sirius, and was about to interject but was promptly scilenced when he began trailing wet, sloppy kisses down his neck. He began to slow and move down his collar bone, leaving little pink marks. He felt a drop of something slip onto his shoulder and Remus regained his thoughts. "Pads-"
"No, shh." He cut him off. If he kept trailing downward, Remus might not have enough control to tell him to stop, which he needed to do. There are four steps to Sirius Black. Normalcy, pushing you away, making jokes, and then distracting you with something else. If you were lucky and close enough, you could see step five.
"Siri." He leaned away and squirmed downward, to be face to face with him. "It's just me. You don't have to do that with me." A few more tears fell, right down his nose and onto the pillow.
"Mum and dad... you know. But it was worse because they knew about us. Then... Regulus... they got him to... he wouldn't... so... tried to stop them" Sirius said quietly, through tears. It felt like, to Sirius, that someone shoved an ironing rod down his trachea and then proceeded to wrap wire around the skin of his neck. He didn't know why he was crying. Sirius hardly ever cried. And clearly Remus understood that and what he was saying because he didn't ask for details. Remus knew enough to work out relatively what happened. His parents tourchered him, but, like he said, it was worse. They tried to get Regulus to do it to, but he wouldn't so they tourchered him too and Sirius tried to stop them, which is why he was so frantic when he woke up. Sirius looked up at Remus expectantly. As he wipped the tears of the beautiful person in front of him, he told his own. It was only fair.
"I...hurt you... to put it lightly. You didn't come back. But for some reason, I could see and hear everything happening, so I watched as it- as the mon-"
"Don't say that. You aren't and neither is your wolf." He said before the other could finish. A few moments passed and he whispered, "I love you, Rem."
"I love you too, Siri."
"Let me see."
"I'm fine."
"Let me see."
"I'm fine." Sirius pressed again.
"Oh really?" Quickly, he made a movement towards his chest. Out of panic Sirius quickly rolled over and fell off the bed, a loud thud in his wake. Remus opened the curtains and peered down at Sirius, laying in an awkward position, grabbing his side. "Don't seem fine, my pup."
"Bloody hell! What was that for?!"
"Did that hurt?"
"Fuck, yes! Remus!"
"Let me see," Remus said plainly. He watched as Sirius glanced at James and Peters bed, their curtains still not drawn at the commotion. "Oh, I taught them the silencing charm. They said we were too loud most the time. In our defense, Insomnia" He pointed to himself, then to Sirius, "and nightmares. Now, let me see."
"Bloody hell. I'm fine. The worst was actually having to see old toad face." He smiled. Remus gave him the most "shut up and just do it, or else" look. Sirius scoffed and walked to the bathroom. He closed the door, leaving Remus back in the four-poster.
Carefully peeling out of his shirt, he looked at the damage. It was worse than usual, but nothing compared to how bad it was when it was actually done in person. Walburga Black had placed a simple, but irreversible spell, on her son where anytime he was away from home and had a nightmare, some of the less severe wounds and pain would transfer in the waking world, to punish him for being disruptive to others. The whole front of his torso was covered in baseball size bruises. Most were black or deep purple, that faded into lighter shades and into green. Others were brown with green centers. He had a few epidermis level scratches. As he was looking at himself, he started to cough. And cough and cough. He turned the faucet on and started to drink some, but it tasted metallic and choked it up. He had coughed up blood. Of course, that would follow him, along with a newly sore throat. Sirius spit blood into the sink and washed it out, leaving no trace. He wiped his mout and stared at himself in the mirror. He couldn't stop the overwhelmingly loud, chanting loop in his head. He shook his head and turned to leave, but someone was already standing at the door. "What? I'm fine."
"Would you put your god damn ego aside for one second and let me help you like you've helped me all those times." He bit spitefully, scanning the body of the boy in front of him.
"Okay," Sirius said after a moment, choosing to ignore the hurtful way he said that for two reasons. One, he was somewhat right and Remus just wanted to help without Sirius pushing him away, and two he was usually short-tempered around this time. "Sit," Remus said, nodding his head to the counter and opening the box from the cabinet.
Once Remus had rubbed the healing salve into his some of his bruises - Sirius insisted he does the worst ones out of fear - watch them disappear, and take a quick shower, they headed to bed, sparing a glance at the clock. They still could get in an hour of sleep. After a few moments, when Sirius thought Remus was asleep, he returned to think about his dream. What if they found out about him and Remus. What would happen then? Either way, he had to go home. He could not abandon Regulus. Never would he leave him alone in that house. His eyelids became heavier and sleep soon became unavoidable. He drifted off dreamlessly.
It was quiet in the castle, being six in the morning on a Sunday. Except for the dorm of James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. The sun was just rising in the sky, the light blue and pinks clashing with the dark blue, creating purples. The stars fading out of sight. Beams of light gradually filled the room. "UP!" James cried, "UP, UP, UP!" He slung back the curtains to Peter's bed, "Get up, Peter, Quidditch tryouts today! Wonder who I'll kick and who I'll let join." He smiled mischievously. Slowly, he walked over to Sirius's bed. Looking over at Peter, he winked and counted to three silently. He yanked the curtains back and looked at his two friends. "They could have been snogging!" Peter whined, but they weren't. Remus was on his side, his arm on Sirius, who was in a ball with his mouth slightly parted.
"Oh, right. UP!" He screeched. Sirius woke with a start and glanced around.
"We could've been snogging." He said, groggily.
"That's what Wormy had said. Now, UP! Tryouts today!"
"I'm up, I'm up." James nor Peter asked where his shirt was. Sirius reached for the curtain and slung it back, calling through them, "Give me ten minutes, unless you fancy waking Remus up."
"Nope," James said, walking away and going to the bathroom. No one could peacefully wake Remus. He was a heavy sleeper, but when you managed to wake him up, he would throw something at you or kick you. The only person able to wake him up gently, especially on a day like today, was Sirius. He... well whatever it was he did it always worked. Ten minutes later, Remus, with his eyes half closed and his pants hanging low on his waist, appeared out of the four-poster. "Good morning, Moony!" James exclaimed. He acknowledged this by making a noise in his throat and said something that relatively sounded like "yeah."
~~~~
"Oi! James!" Sirius said, smacking James on the back of his head with a potions book. This was the fourth time he called his name.
"Ow, what the hell Pads?" He looked back, confused, to which Sirius laughed.
"You're droolin' a bit." Down the table sat a girl with deep red wavy hair, beautiful green eyes, and a slim figure. Wearing her hair in a messy bun, white shirt and yoga pants. She was kind. Brave and smart and friendly, but she was a spitfire. She was why James was unaware of Sirius calling his name.
"Am not!" None the less, he wiped his chin subconsciously.
"You were a little, mate." Peter chimed in timidly, putting some more food onto his plate and yawning. "Six o' clock is too early to wake up for a Sunday. We didn't even get down here till Seven thirty! And we have to wake up even earlier tomorrow!" He whined.
"And Remus?" James inquired, clearly wanting his opinion, as he looked up and across the table at where Remus had previously been sitting. "Where'd he go? He was here a second ago." No one answered his question. Remus had been going to the library more and more the past few days, a sure sign something was on his mind. He had been eating less and sleeping more, though he was still tired. No one could see his face as it was usually hidden behind a book, but if you could you would see his sunken, tired eyes and pale complexion. He stopped talking and had a shorter temper. Any other friend would ask what was wrong, but the three already knew. "I believe it is my turn to take notes," James said quietly after a moment.
"No need," Remus said as he sat down once more. He didn't reach for food, just the new book he had obviously retrieved momentarily from the library. "Talked to the teachers. Tomorrow Dumbledore said all them are meeting to talk through school stuff with the minister all day. Got the day off." He opened his book to page fifty and began to read.
"Well look who's off the hook." Said a voice behind James and Sirius. Peter looked up and squeaked, Remus didn't spare a glance at the familiar taunting tune, James and Sirius spun around in their seats. The voice was tall with long, black, greasy hair. Narrow hooked nose and black eyes.
"Look who's somehow found a way to make their hair more greasy. It's Snivellius! Obviously, his parents haven't told him to wash- oh wait. They probably haven't said anything to him. Too busy trying to kill each other...or you. What's that like being-" James shot back, but Sirius cleared his throat and gave him a weary look.
"At least I'm not a super spoiled brat with blood traitors as parents, and that I can do more than just take notes for someone else who leaves every month to be his true nature. A cold-blooded killing monst-"
"Don't you even fucking think about finishing that statement!" Lily, who was sitting two seats down, shot up faster than James and Sirius ever could. She was at his side before anyone could process what happened. The two had their wands raised against Snape, who held his low at his side, concealed. Before either of the two could hex Snape, Lily was dragging him off. "Outside, now." Snape flinched from her tone and followed her out. The three and many others around them who were listening watched Lily walk Snape out of the Great Hall, her face matching the color of her bright red curly hair. "He can't keep walking around," Sirius said spitefully, his face contorted with rage.
"We have to plan a prank to get him back."
"One where he won't keep walking around with that tongue of his." James countered
"Yeah, he wants a monster we'll give him a monster." Remus slammed his book closed, resulting in Peter almost falling out of his seat.
"No." He deadpanned, looked back and forth between the two of his friends.
"We just need to scare him in some way! Make him know not to fuck with the Mauraders!" Sirius said, rising a little in his seat.
"I'm not getting you out of trouble this time, then." He said not meeting his eyes and returning to his book. Someone called for James from the Ravenclaw table, so he got up and disappeared in the crowd. It took Sirius a few minutes to realize why Remus had really closed his book. He didn't care about them pranking Snape.
"Rem." He hesitated, "I'm sorry. Like I said last night, you're not. Everyone has their own ...monsters... but that doesn't mean you are them." Sirius said, grabbing his hand and trying to catch his eye.
Remus didn't answer, only smiled softly, and retracted his hand. Suddenly, someone grabbed Sirius's shoulders and shouted close to his ear his name. Out of fear he jumped up and away from the noise, but out of instinct he flinched and curled up a little, bringing his hands to his face. "Shit, sorry Siri. Anyways-" James paid no attention to this exchange and went on a rant about his prank ideas, too excited to know no one was listening.
"Take it from me. Just because you grow up around them doesn't mean you are them." He whispered, mostly to himself. And at that, Remus finally looked up and smiled and appreciative smile towards Sirius. For the final time, Remus opened his book and continued reading, leaving Sirius to start converging with James. During talking the room gradually filled with people and the mail began to come. James got a package of sweets from his mom, adressed to "my two sons." SIrius spent enough time over there to the point where she considered him one. Remus got a letter from his father as well as Peter. Sirius, however, got an unmarked letter. But he knew who it was from. With sad eyes, he went to pick it up, but Remus, with lightning speed, snatched it up and tore into it. "Hey!" He snapped. "I think I can read my own letters from my parents, this has gone on long enough."
"Mate we're just trying to help. Besides we tell you the important stuff. You have to live with her, you shouldn't have to deal with her all the time." James said, glancing at the letter. Like taking notes for Remus, they took turns reading his letters from home.
"Yeah. Tell me honestly you're not happier without hearing all this." Remus said with a grimace. "I mean there's no point to this." It really did hurt Remus's heart to read these things. These were things he knew Sirius grew up listening to, in person, on a loop. Things like disappointment, you will be punished for your actions when you arrive home, blood traitor, unworthy. Most the time they even went as far as to tell him that he didn't deserve love and should just put an end to himself. "Incendio." They all watched as the paper burned and disappear.
At some point, the four had moved from the Great Hall to the quart yard, where Remus finished his book and James and Peter threw a Quaffle back and forth, to help "practice." When Peter asked how he was able to get it, James said, very smugly, that quidditch captain came with certain privileges.
Outside was beautiful. It was spring and the sun peaked out from behind clouds, making the world turn bright and dim randomly. The trees were just starting to grow back their leaves, so everything seemed greener and came with a fresher scent. Remus sat under the tree in his book as Sirius watched the people around him, mostly James and Peter. Lily and Marlene were sitting on the docks with their feet just grazing the top of the water. Hufflepuffs were in clusters and the Slytherins were in pairs, some pairs having a third person, which so happened to be a Ravenclaw. No one was in their robes, just casual wear, apart from the Ravenclaws. Sirius moved his attention to Remus. He was reading a red book with silver binding. It looked relatively new, but the pages were worn. His sandy curly hair covered most of his face, as he was looking down, but the light pink scars were visible at his chin. His hand didn't waver once, even under the weight of the thick book he was holding. He always had this newfound strength and steadiness near this time. "I'm going inside Siri," He said abruptly, standing up. "I can't take the smell and it's too bright. Welcome to join." Sirius scrambled to his feet and began to follow.
"Smell? Too bright?"
"Yes."
"Oh. Oh. Right, okay." Remus scoffed. Sirius had been too lost in his thoughts to remember. Besides, around full moon he had so many quirks. His sight became enhanced along with his smell and hearing. It was probably a sensory overload type situation. "I'll be back." Sirius said as he turned around and began to walk away.
"Avoid the fifth corridor, that's where Snape is," Remus said after him.