Cornetto Boy
Just a one-shot about the Blood and Ice Cream trilogy and the 'Soufflé Girl subplot in recent Doctor Who. I thought this up one night and it has been bugging me ever since :D I do not own Doctor Who, Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz or the Worlds End. Or Cornetti, for that matter D: please r+r
It was during my second exile to Earth that I encountered the Impossible Boy. He died saving me twice, and then I met him a third time. I wouldn't let him go this time.
Ed:
It all started with the second rise of Gallifrey. I was put on trial and sentenced to face my face and continue my exile on Earth, in the year 2004. One minute, I was spiralling into darkness, the next, I was a tall, fairly fit ginger man, wearing a plain white shirt and black trousers. I discovered that the Time Lords had made a life for me, with a mum, a girlfriend and a job. Weirdest of all, they gave me a best friend.
He was called Ed, and was a short, chubby man with short black hair and blue eyes. The one thing I remember him for was the morning it all went wrong.
"Do you want anything from the shop?" I asked, hungover and tired from the previous night.
"Cornetto," he mumbled back sleepily, half awake.
Later that day, we discovered a zombie apocalypse that had ravaged the world overnight, and we had to make our way to the local pub, the Winchester. We picked up my 'mum', ex-'girlfriend' and some others on our way, finally reaching our destination. However, tragedy struck an hour on.
The pub was overrun with zombies, taking us out one by one. Eventually, it was just me, Liz - my 'girlfriend' - and Ed left. As Liz and I escaped, I was heartbroken when Ed succumbed to his injury and turned into a zombie before my eyes. Distraught, we left him and were rescued later that day.
Danny:
After that, I cut all ties the Time Lords gave me, before training in the police. I became cold and heartless, mercilessly obeying the law at every turn. I was satisified with my life, but it was thanks to the three Commissioners of my service that I was reluctantly moved to Sandford. It was there I met the second Cornetto Boy.
I saw him first in the pub, drunk as a newt, then again the next morning. I hadn't recognised him fully at first in the pub, but now I could see that it was Ed, my old friend. I spent the day confused and pondering the truth, baffled fully when he went to the shop. It was a cornetto.
I hoped to escape with him, let him be my friend forever, but disaster struck. The Neighbourhood Watch Association were killing off people to make the village more appealing for the Village of the Year contest. Danny and I defeated them in a firefight, but at the end, he was shot in the chest. The station was blown up by a sea mine, but it was too late for Danny. I cradled him in my arms as he passed, tears of fury in my eyes.
Andy:
I found solace in that quaint, British habit commonly known as a 'pub' after that. I made a group of friends now, 5 of them. He was there again. Of course, a perception filter altered their memories, so they thought they had known me for all of
their lives. In fact, they only knew me since the day I met up with them.
I needed to cement my friendship with Cornetto Boy - or Andy, as he was now known - so I decided to engage in a pub crawl I had heard about. Midway through, however, we discovered a robot duplicate invasion of the world, starting in Newton Haven, where we were then!
I eventually reached the final pub and saved the world. Again. However, Andy decided to leave me to reinstate his marriage. I couldn't blame him, but now I have a duplicate of him and my 'friends' to see me through. The Time Lords are even considering ending my exile, if I behave myself.
This Cornetto Boy is indestructible, infallible and, above all else, my eternal friend
.