GB: Hey there everybody I'm back with another one-shot this time for Deidara and Haruhi.
Deidara: HELL YEAH, YEAH!!
GB: It's not going to be a lemon.
Deidara: Damn it, un!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the Haruhi Suzumiya series.
GB: Some of the jokes might be good for little kids to read.
Deidara was walking in a clear green field wearing his Akatsuki cloak.
"Deidara" A voice called out to him from the heavens.
He followed the voice as it called out his name. "Where are you, un?" He asked to it.
"Deidara" It called out again, this time it came from the east, where there were an angelic light shining down on the spot.
Deidara soon walked over to the spot and stood in the light. He looked up and he saw a figure coming down from the Heavens.
The figure was a girl with short brown hair and she was wearing a white nightgown floating down towards him.
"Haruhi, un." Was what he said as the girl floated down towards him with her arms wide open ready to embrace him.
He soon opened up both of his arms ready to embrace her as well.
She landed smoothly in his arms and the two soon started to roll around on the ground while still in each other arms.
They soon stopped rolling around and they were laying side by side smiling at one another.
"Haruhi I just want to tell you that you are as beautiful as always, un." He said to her who was wearing a smile on her face.
"I want you to know that you are a work of art, the kind that should last forever by my side, yeah." He continued.
Haruhi still remained silent with that smile still on her face listening to what the blonde bomber was saying to her.
"I want to be with you forever, un." He concluded.
Haruhi soon opened her mouth and said "TIME TO WAKE UP DEIDARA SENPAI!!!" She said in an annoying voice.
"What, un!" Deidara screamed in shock.
*Deidara's room*
Deidara soon woke up to find Tobi standing on his bed with his orange mask in Deidara's face.
"Tobi! What the hell are you doing in here, un!?" Deidara screamed at the masked man.
"Tobi thought that it would be a good idea to come and wake you up senpai!" Tobi said to bomber.
Deidara had a murderous look on his face. The first thing he wanted to do that morning was kill the masked idiot in front of him.
"Senpai there's something in your bed!" Tobi screamed seeing something poking out of Deidara's bed.
"Don't worry senpai Tobi will get rid of it for you because Tobi is a good boy!" He screamed as he took a book from off of Deidara's self.
"Tobi wait stop, un!!!" Deidara screamed but it was too late. Tobi had brought the book down with full force and hit Deidara in a sensitive area.
*Living Room*
The others were all in the living room minding their own business until they heard Deidara beating Tobi to a bloody pulp and several explosions coming from his room.
"Sounds like Deidara's up." Konan said reading a magazine not really caring.
Soon Tobi came flying through the door laying on the ground.
Moments later Deidara soon came wobbling into the room very very pissed off at Tobi.
"Little bastard, un!" Deidara growled at the masked man.
"Deidara" Itachi said in a calm and monotone voice to the angry blonde.
"What do you want Uchiha, un?" Deidara said to Itachi who was still pissed.
"We received a massage from Haruhi Suzumiya earlier, requesting if we would like to join her and her brigade in looking for abnormal beings today at noon." Itachi said not really caring while reading his newspaper.
Within seconds Deidara was out of the base before any of them could blink.
"Why did senpai leave like that?" Tobi asked the others.
"Because he wants to fuck Haruhi." Hidan said to him.
"Oh. What does that mean?" Tobi asked them as they all remained silent looking at him like he just gotten stupider, if that was even possible.
It was a sunny Saturday afternoon and the S.O.S Brigade was standing in front of a restaurant.
"Kyon you're late that means you're treating us to lunch!" Haruhi shouted at the late boy.
'How can I be late I got here on time. I guess everyone else must've have gotten here earlier' Kyon thought to himself as he approached the other brigade members.
"Kyon it's nice to see that you were finally able to make it." Itsuki Koizumi said with that ever present smile on his face.
"Today we're going to search the city for anything strange so we're going to split up in groups." Haruhi declared to the others.
'I don't see why she's doing this it's not like anything strange is going to happen today anyway' Kyon thought to himself.
Within seconds Deidara showed up in front of some of the surprised brigade members.
"I'm here I hope I'm not late, un" Deidara said as if he just ran a marathon.
"You've got to be kidding me!" Kyon said surprised to see the Akatsuki member in front of them.
"I can't believe it! I was hoping that at least one of you guys would show up this changes everything!" Haruhi said looking at the bomber in front of her.
"Well I must say that it's nice to meet you again Deidara." Koizumi said holding out his hand for Deidara to shake it.
"Yeah sure whatever, un" Deidara said shaking his hand.
"Umm…Hello there" Mikiru said in a nervous tone as she approached him.
Yuki was simply reading her book she only glimpsed up from it for a second before returning back to her book.
"Come on everyone let's have lunch Kyon is treating!" Haruhi shouted to them.
*Restaurant*
They were all sitting inside the restaurant eating their lunches while Haruhi was telling them what they would be doing today.
"Ok so Today I decided that we should go to the beach and have a bond fire in honor of our newest member!" Haruhi exclaimed to them.
'Hell yeah, yeah!' Deidara thought with a big smile on his face.
'Why do I get the feeling that he's picturing Haruhi in her swimming outfit.' Kyon thought as he looked over at Deidara.
"Ok everyone I want you all to go home and get your swimming outfits and meet at the bus stop in two hours." Haruhi said as they all left the restaurant.
*Two Hours*
They were all standing at the bus station in their swimming outfits with their beach gear.
Haruhi was wearing a red shirt with white shorts, Mikiru was wearing a pink shirt with blue shorts, Yuki was wearing a brown shirt with brown shorts, Koizumi was wearing a white shirt with purple shorts, Kyon was wearing a green shirt with blue shorts, and Deidara was wearing a black shirt with red clouds on it along with matching shorts.
"The bus needs to hurry up and get here already." Haruhi groaned.
"I know a way we can get to the beach faster, yeah" Deidara said as he reached inside his clay pouch and produced two small clay birds.
They both flew to the ground in front of the group. They all wandered what he was going to do until he did a hand sign.
"HA!" Deidara screamed as his little clay birds soon turned into two giant clay birds.
"WOW! You're amazing I'm so glad that I made you a member!" Deidara said as she hopped on top of one of the bird.
"Think you this is just one of the beauty of my art, un." Deidara said admiring his work.
'I hope he doesn't blow us up in the name of art' Kyon thought to himself.
*Beach*
It wasn't long until they got to the beach to their surprise they were the only ones there.
"That's funny usually there's a lot of people here this time of year" Kyon stated to the others.
"Ok guys time to change into our outfits!" Haruhi said as she removed her clothes to reveal a black bikini.
Mikiru was wearing a blue and white bikini and Yuki was wearing reddish brown bikini.
Deidara was standing there watching Haruhi pose in her bikini completely awestruck.
"Say Deidara is that a banana in your pocket?" A voice said from behind Deidara which made him jump in surprise.
"Kisame what the hell are you doing here, un?" Deidara asked in a low voice so the others wouldn't hear him.
He dragged Kisame behind a large rock so the others wouldn't see them.
"Why I'm here for a little swim. You should've been here when I scared everyone off of the beach it was priceless." Kisame said with a toothy grin.
"Look that's nice and all but could you please leave I'm trying to get somewhere with Haruhi, un." Deidara explained to the shark man.
"Just so you know everyone at the base thinks that you don't have a chance." Kisame said as he began to walk away. He soon stopped and turned back around to Deidara and said "I'll make sure they have the lotion ready for you when you get back to the base." He said as he took off laughing.
"Bastard, yeah" Deidara said as he watched him leave.
Deidara soon rejoined with the others, Yuki was busy reading a book, Haruhi, Mikiru, Koizumi, and Kyon was in the water playing chicken. He was about to go into the water until a voice stopped him in his tracks.
"You are a balance factor" Yuki said in her emotionless monotone voice.
"What do you mean, un?" Deidara asked her.
"You like Kyon are an abnormal factor to the data entry. You seem to be able to balance out Kyon in his efforts in keeping Haruhi mentally stable with your unique abilities." She explained not looking away from her book.
"So what you're saying is that I'm now a very important person to her just like Kyon then, un?" He answered.
"That is correct. You are important to her not just for your abilities but for another reason." She concluded.
"What do you mean, un?" He asked puzzled by what the girl had just said.
Yuki didn't say anything else she just kept reading her book.
The sun soon started to go down and they started to get things ready for the bond fire. Kyon and Koizumi were both gathering firewood for the fire.
"Kyon I'd like to talk to you about Deidara." Koizumi said with that smile still on his face.
"OK what about him?" Kyon asked.
"It appears that like you he too is also responsible for keeping miss Suzumiya happy." he explained.
"What do mean?" Kyon asked.
"Simple. You see with his abilities there is no need for her to create a closed space because she knows that there is a place where people like him live. With that knowledge we won't have to worry her trying to make this place like theirs, and there's also another reason I just can't put my finger on it, but look at this way at least you have someone to help keep miss Suzumiya satisfied." Koizumi explained.
Kyon didn't know what to say so he just went back to gathering firewood.
They soon had enough firewood for the fire and they went to roasting marshmallows and Haruhi welcoming Deidara as a full-fledged brigade member.
While the others was busy cleaning up Deidara took this time to talk to Kyon.
"So I guess that you already know, un" Deidara said to him.
"Yeah I do. So I guess I won't be carrying to work load by myself anymore then." Kyon said to the bomber.
"In a way yes. you know I could kill you, but who knows what Haruhi might do so I won't, yeah" Deidara said to him with a little grin on his face.
Kyon was a little token back he didn't know if Deidara was joking or being serious.
'This guy is nuts how could he be an important factor in Haurhi's life? Something tells me I might need to be a little bit more careful from now on" Kyon thought to himself.
"Don't worry the last thing I would ever want to do is upset Haruhi, after all we do balance each other out, un" Deidara said as he left.
"I think I should be worried" Kyon said quietly to himself.
"This has been a great day, Deidara I hope to see you at more of our meetings." Haruhi said while riding home on Deidara's clay bird.
"Don't worry I get the feeling you will, un" He told her as his bird dropped her off at home.
He had his other bird drop the others off at their respective homes and he offered to fly Haruhi home himself.
*Akatsuki Base*
It wasn't long until Deidara returned back to the base. When he walked in the only one he saw up was Itachi drinking a glass of water.
Deidara simply ignored him and was heading towards his room until Itachi said something to him.
"How was your day?" Itachi asked the blonde bomber in his monotone emotionless voice.
"It was interesting, un" Deidara answered back.
"Hn, Kisame told us what happened and your lotion is on your bed." Itachi said as he headed for his room.
Deidara was about to say something back to him but Itachi cut him off.
"For the record Deidara I think you might have a slim chance. Don't tell anyone I said that" Itachi said with a little threat in his voice.
Deidara couldn't believe what he heard Itachi Uchiha just told him he had a chance with Haruhi.
"Sometimes you surprise even me Uchiha, yeah." Deidara said smiling to himself while heading to bed for a good night sleep.
GB: Well there you go people I hope you enjoyed this.
Deidara: I know I did I'm now an important factor in Haruhi's life now, yeah!
Itachi: We got another letter from Sasori asking if we could send him some of his poisons
GB: Not likely. Anyway just so some of you Know that the Haruhi Suzumiya series is really heard for me to write about but it was worth it. Also if you want to write your own Deidara and Haruhi stories
Itachi: Or Itachi and Kari Stories
Deidara: Or Pein x Sora x Matt triangle stories
Kisame: Kisame and Ranamon or Sasori x Jeri x Takato Triangle stories.
GB: Then feel free to do so, same thing goes for Youtube videos too. It'll save me a lot of work.
Kisame: You're just being lazy.
GB: I know. Well anyway read and review and I'll see you later.
Tobi: If you Do Tobi will give you all a big hug and Konan will too.
Konan: I guess.
Haruhi: Plus a hug from me and the other Brigade members!
Deidara: I saw that tagged video you made on Youtube, yeah!
GB: Don't worry Deidara my little crush on Haruhi was merely work related stress, but I'm over it now.
Kisame: Really? What did you do?
GB: The same way anybody gets rid of feelings they get for someone due to work related stress.
Kyon: Which was what exactly?
GB: The same way you and Haruhi were able to get out of that closed space.
Itachi: You mean you?
GB: Yep on the lips and all of that stress was gone.
Deidara: O./ …….
Tobi: is senpai ok?
GB: He'll be fine Tobi anyway Read Review see you later.