A/N This is a sequel to "An Unexpected Distraction", so if you haven't read it I suggest you do that first. The story will make more sense that way.
Enjoy!
Quinn felt like her whole world was heavy. She felt pressure from every possible direction and she had no clue as to why that was. Even the air around her felt thicker than usual. Things weren't working. She had too much on her plate and she knew it. In that regard, it had actually come as a relief when Finn broke up with her the week previously. The lack of heartache, however, made her question herself even more than she already did. She didn't really know who she was anymore. She wasn't Quinn the queen bitch anymore. Prom had proven that. And while she acknowledged that she might have won prom queen if not for a group of immature idiots, she couldn't help but feel a failure.
Still, prom hadn't been all bad. Artie Abrams, whom she rarely spoke to, had sat with her while she pathetically cried and blubbed about how bad her life was. As if she had any right to complain about her life to him. She cringed just thinking about it now. Artie had since assured her that it was perfectly ok and that she could complain to him any time she wanted, but she had yet to take him up on his offer. With the exception of Mercedes, he was the first person in glee club to be truly genuine with her. She knew (though she didn't know how she knew) that she could trust him. Still, it didn't feel right whinging to him about her life. Whatever she had going on, she could and would work through – Artie was always stuck with his problems.
Quinn was so lost in her thoughts that she forgot that she had gym class. She had already missed the first fifteen minutes, and she knew that Coach Beiste would give her detention if she showed up so late. Quinn decided she had enough to worry about without detention on her permanent record, so she head off in the direction of the nurse's office. She felt sick enough to qualify.
However, she did a double-take when she passed the choir room. She heard a familiar intro being played on an acoustic guitar. Too curious not to check who it was, she peered around the doorframe. Sure enough, there sat Artie strumming on his guitar. He looked upset, but she wasn't sure what to do about it. Instead, she stood just outside of the doorway, waiting to hear if it was the song she hoped it was.
The Milky Way upon the heavens
Is twinkling just for you
And Mr Moon he came by
To say goodnight to you
I'll sing for you I'll sing for mother
We're praying for the world
And for the people everywhere
Gonna show them all we care
Quinn's heart raced as she let the familiar words of the song wash over her. How many times had she listened to this song? Countless, she told herself. It was one of her mother's favourite songs. She played it everywhere. But this was the first time that Quinn had ever heard the song. With a new boldness she went to sit in the seat next to Artie and began to harmonize in the chorus.
Oh my sleeping child the world's so wild
But you've built your own paradise
That's one reason why I'll cover you sleeping child
Their voices blended perfectly and both were full of emotion. Quinn furiously fought back tears. She needed to finish this song. She saw similar conflict on Artie's face. If he wasn't playing guitar, she would have taken his hand. Instead, she placed a hand on his knee. She knew he wouldn't feel it, but she hoped that the effect would be the same. He smiled the smallest smile of appreciation before they began the next verse.
If all the people around the world
They had a mind like yours
We'd have no fighting and no wars
There would be lasting peace on Earth
If all the kings and all the leaders
Could see you here this way
They would hold the Earth in their arms
They would learn to watch you play
Oh my sleeping child the world's so wide
But you've build your own paradise
That's one reason why I'll cover you sleeping child
Quinn could barely sing anymore. All that was going through her mind was Beth and how perfect she had looked nestled in her arms. The image was replaced by a toddling little one-year-old girl exploring the world around her, speaking her first words, discovering new things. The more she thought about her, the more difficult it became for her to get the words out. Eventually she completely gave up. Artie went alone into the bridge, his voice also starting to shake with emotion.
I'm gonna cover my sleeping child
Keep you away from the world so wide
Artie had to stop there too. He played an improvised outro and after putting his guitar down next to him, the same kind of tears Quinn was crying began to fall from his eyes. He took off his glasses and buried his face in his hands, huge sobs shaking his shoulders. She had no idea why he was so emotional, but she knew at that moment that Artie needed her and she needed him. She stood up and pulled him into a tight embrace. They stayed that way for several minutes, not saying a word, just letting the tears fall onto each other's shoulders.
After a while, Quinn pulled away, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.
"Here," said Artie thickly, pulling out his packet of Kleenexes. Quinn smiled slightly and took one from the packet. "We have to stop meeting here like this," he added and they both managed a tearful laugh.
They were quiet for a while, trying to regain composure. Once she was back to relative normalcy, Quinn took Arties hand. "Thank you," she said looking into his eyes. He put his glasses back on. "That song was just... it was perfect."
Artie was silent for a moment. He didn't notice that he was absent-mindedly stroking her hand with his thumb as he collected his thoughts. Quinn noticed and she couldn't help but feel her heart skip a beat. She stared at the floor, her head turned away; she didn't want to jinx it by looking.
"You sang it for Beth, didn't you?" asked Artie softly after a while. Quinn felt a pang as he mentioned her name. She had thought it would be easier after a year, but it still hurt like it had only just happened. She had talked through it with people, but none of them seemed to understand – not even her mom. It was a lonely burden to carry.
"This whole year, I've tried to bring the old Quinn back. I've tried to push Beth to the back of my mind. I've tried to be a normal teenager. I'm not anymore, Artie," she said. There were no tears, but her voice wavered. They sat in silence for a while, before he spoke up again.
"Can I tell you why I'm in an empty classroom singing that particular song?" Artie said so softly it was almost a whisper. Quinn nodded, giving his hand a small squeeze to show that she was listening. Artie took a deep, shuddering breath.
"When I was little, my mom always used to put on Michael Learns to Rock on a Saturday when we were cleaning the house. It was always the same CD, but we never minded. I don't know how many times I listened to that song. Probably hundreds. And I never thought anything of it. It was just another song on the 'cleaning up' CD.
"When I found out that I was going to have a little sister, I remember being so excited. I was nine then, I was already in the... the accident had already happened. It was the best news that my mom had had from a doctor in almost a year and I had never seen my parents happier."
Artie stopped and took a deep breath. Quinn could tell he was fighting back emotions and she wanted to do something to comfort him, but she knew that at that moment, what Artie needed the most was to speak.
"I remember it was the Saturday before she was meant to be born. We were cleaning up the house and the song came on. My mom's always been proud of my singing and so she asked if I wanted to sing it for her, to calm her down. I did and I was amazed when my mom put my hand on her stomach because I could feel her kicking at it."
Artie couldn't hold it back any longer; tears began to fall down his cheeks. And he couldn't speak anymore. Quinn placed her other hand on Artie's, comfortingly. A stray tear began making its way from her eye and down her cheek.
"She would have been eight today, Quinn," said Artie, trying to calm himself again.
Quinn let tears silently fall from her eyes as she listened to Artie be more honest and open with her than anyone had ever been in her entire life. Taking Quinn's other hand with his free hand he looked at her seriously through moist eyes.
"You aren't alone, Quinn. I know how it hurts," Artie said. Quinn's hands shook beneath his. She tried to find the words to express just how grateful she was to him at that moment, but all that came out were more tears.
"Thank you, Artie," she eventually managed to whisper. She wanted to elaborate, but he shook his head to show she didn't need to.
"God, imagine what we must look like right now," said Artie, managing a small chuckle.
"Like a pair of crazies in a deserted classroom, crying about a song," said Quinn, smiling and wiping her eyes with the already damp Kleenex.
"Thank you, Quinn," Artie said softly. "I've never talked about that to anyone. Not even my mom. It hurts her too much."
Quinn leaned over and held him tightly. "You're braver than I think I'll ever be," she whispered into his ear. Artie returned the embrace.
"I hope you know that this means you're now legally friends with an open nerd," said Artie as they broke apart. He was grinning his toothy grin again.
"Oddly, I think I prefer it that way," Quinn smiled.
"We should go get ourselves an excuse," said Artie. Quinn noticed little patches of colour forming in his cheeks, but didn't say anything. Instead she zipped up his guitar case for him, hoisted it over her shoulder and wheeled them out of the choir room, fully aware of how significant that moment had been for the both of them.
A/N: I cried writing this. It's always been one of my favorite songs and I enjoyed contextualizing it like this.
Artie's Saturday mornings are based on mine growing up. The exact same MLTR CD every Saturday. It was awesome.
Anyway, I do hope you enjoyed this. At the moment, I can only seem to write stuff where there's a lot of crying. Maybe this says something about me? Lol
Thank you for reading! Please feel free to review :) x