just a short one shot i thought i'd try. Can't put into words how much a fictional persons death hurts. but im sure you know how it feels.

Disclaimer: Greys - Not mine, obviously. otherwise lexie...well you know


"DADA" One word, two syllables.

Callie gasped and turned quickly to look at her daughter who was waving a toy phone in the air. "Arizona, ARIZONA! Get in here quick, Sofia just said her first word!" She shouted to her wife.

"Oh my god!" Arizona hobbled through on her crutches to the little girl playing with her toys on the floor. "Well what did she say?"

"dada" whispered Callie.

"W- Well are you sure? I mean, are you sure it wasn't just baby babbling" Arizona reasoned.

Callie took in a breath and tried to keep the tears from forming in her eyes. "No, I'm sure, she was playing with her phone and she said-"

"DADA" Sofia repeated.

She could no longer hold back the tears and she let them fall freely as her hand came up to cover her mouth. "Oh God, Oh God. Her first word and it was…" Callie took in a ragged breath. "He should be here for this, these are the important things, the things that parents shouldn't miss, and instead, instead he's…he's…" At that she broke down and cried.

Arizona went to her wife's side to comfort her. "I know baby, I know." She pulled Callie into a hug and rubbed her back, trying to soothe her. "I told him to stay, I told him he had to. For Sofia, for you…even for me. For our family."

Callie pulled back to look at Arizona. "What? You didn't tell me that."

"I know and I'm sorry but I didn't want to upset you." She confessed, took a deep breath and took herself back to that awful day. "After Lexie, he just…wasn't there anymore. You could see the fight had completely gone out of him. As he lay there in my arms, he told me…" Arizona took a second to steady herself and then carried on. "He told me you'd be OK, you'd both survive without him, because you had me."

Callie pulled Arizona into a hug and held onto her tightly. She knew that wasn't the end of the story so she didn't interrupt but she gave Arizona time to compose herself once more.

After a couple of minutes Arizona felt ready to carry on. "He just wanted to be with her so badly, he was consumed by the grief and the guilt and he just wanted to see her again. I tried to bring him back, root him to the living, told him Sofia needed him. But he said…" She shook her head, she just couldn't bring herself to say it.

"What? What did he say?" Callie pressed as she stroked Arizona's hair, reassuring her it was OK to tell her anything.

"Dying was the better option" She whimpered. "I'm so sorry Callie, I so sorry. But he chose her, he chose Lexie."

Callie shook her head and gave Arizona a sad smile as the tears continued to fall. Her wife hadn't understood, not at all, but Callie did. "No. He chose us, Lexie was never an option."

Arizona gave her a confused look. "I don't-"

"I love you with all my heart, you are the love of my life; but what we have, even what Derek and Meredith have. None of us can ever come close to Mark and Lexie. They were soul mates. Do you realise how rare that is? I've seen thousands of patients and I've never seen even a glimmer of it, except in those two." Callie explained. "Even if Mark had survived, if his heart had kept on beating, he would never really have carried on living, because he would never be able to forget. And Sofia probably wont remember him, but Mark was a brilliant father, even better than I expected. If he had lived, I don't think he would have been, not that he would mean to neglect her, but he would have buried himself in work or drunk himself to death and she would grow up to resent him. I think he knew that, that's why he knew he couldn't stay, that's why he didnt fight."

They both sat in silence for a while, watching as Sofia played on, lost in their own thoughts. Callie thought back to a play she did in school. How had Shakespeare put it?

Star-Crossed lovers.

Maybe this was how it was supposed to end after all.