Hollow
This one shot takes place just after Kim stole everything from Amanda's apartment but Olivia is there with her instead of Fin. Frannie doesn't exist in this story. Reviews are very much appreciated. Xxx
"I helped myself to some things. I'm sorry."
Amanda read the shriveled hand written note, that was left lying on the bare floor, over and over in her head, not really understanding what had happened. Kim had taken everything from her. All the furniture were gone, the tv, the pictured on the walls, her bed, her clothes, even the food in the fridge and freezer had been taken. Nothing was left, just a hastily scribbled note of a worthless apology. Kim was now a fugitive, a wanted person by the law and a con artist, a good one at that.
She went to turn on the light in the kitchen to get a better view of her now empty apartment but even the lightbulb had been taken out. She was now left standing in a completely stripped one bedroom apartment without so much as a lightbulb to offer the bare place a soft glow. Nothing had been spared.
"Amanda?" Olivia approached her side, gently took the note from her shaking hand and read it herself, shocked and completely flabbergasted by the cruelty and despair that Kim had caused her sister by completely robbing her bare from all her things. Precious memories, small trinkets that only had sentimental value to Amanda that she would never get back and all the furniture that she had worked so hard for to buy when she first came to New York a couple of years prior.
"She didn't leave one single thing. She... she took everything." the blonde whispered into the darkish room, her eyes travelling up and down the empty walls, floors and ceiling. "Everything." even her faint whisper echoed throughout the empty space which caused her voice to sound so sad, broken and hallow.
Olivia inhaled deeply, her heart aching for the woman next to her and she knew there was nothing she could say or do to make things even a tiny bit better. She felt totally useless and completely inadequate in this current situation. Fucking useless. "I'm so sorry, Amanda, so so sorry."
Silence filled the room as Amanda took in the emptiness of her surroundings, feeling nothing but empty herself. "It's not your fault." she softly stated, took the note from Liv's hands, crumbled it up and tossed it on the floor.
"Why don't you come home with me? You can stay at my place for as long as you need. I can't leave you here like this, Amanda. Where are you going to sleep or eat? I have a perfectly good guestroom that you can stay in until you get back on your feet. Please, if not for yourself then for me." she gently placed a warm hand on Amanda's shoulder, feeling how stiff and tense she was underneath her touch. "Come on, honey."
Without uttering a word, Amanda let herself be guided from the apartment, down the steps and put towards Olivia's car that was parked just out front. The brunette even had to open the cardoor for her since the younger woman didn't seem to be present or currently aware of what was taking place or happening around her.
The drive to Olivia's place only took about ten minutes but it ten minutes spent in silence which made the brunette even more worried about Amanda's mental and emotional state. Throwing the blonde side glances throughout the short drive she couldn't help to notice the sad, lonely and painfilled expression that clouded Amanda's worn looking features and her heart broke a little bit more at the sight. She wanted to scoop the younger woman up, into her arms and hold her tight, to tell her that things will be okay and that she wasn't alone but she knew that Amanda probably wouldn't appreciate the contact or the reassuring words. Not now.
"We're here, honey." Liv's voice broke through her hazy mind, the exhaustion from what her sister had put her through during the past couple of days was now catching up to her, causing her focus, her concentration and all her senses to dull and turn foggy.
They made it into the building and into Olivia's warm and cozy apartment and, as Amanda stood there, inside the hallway, she suddenly felt like she was intruding and invading her colleague's private and personal space and she became reluctant and hesitant to enter any further. "Hey, it's okay, come on in, honey." Liv gently reassured, took one of Amanda's small and cold hand in hers and stroked her thumb softly across the back of it, hoping to sooth her fears, worry and pain.
Olivia's apartment was a lot different from what the blonde's use to be. It was more relaxing, cozy, homey and warm, more lived in and more personal, like she had really settled and made the place her own. Hesitantly she walked inside, looking around at the pictures on the walls, the furniture, the modern kitchen and the warm colour schemes that the brunette had picked and created.
"Would you like a drink or something to eat? I'm sure I have something edible in the fridge. I haven't gone grocery shopping in a while but I'm pretty sure I can whip something up." Liv offered gently, wanting the blonde to feel comfortable and at home in her time of need.
"Um, I'm not really hungry but a drink sound good, as long as it's alcohol." she muttered, sighed and sat down on the couch, removing her jacket.
"I've got red wine. Feel free to turn on the tv if you'd like. I'll only be a second." quickly Liv entered her bedroom, changed into her sleeping clothes and found something for Amanda to wear for bed along with a toothbrush and some towels to get her set up in the guest bedroom. "Here you go, honey. You can change in the spare room and I'll get the wine."
Smiling gently, Amanda accepted the clothes and headed for her new temporary abode to get more comfortable. The clothes were slightly big on her bit at least they were soft and warm. She pulled her hair into a high messy bun and went back outside to join her friend who had already dug into the wine.
"You look kind of cute in my clothes, Amanda. Come, join me and the wine." she smiled and patted the empty space next to her. "There's a movie on if you want to watch it?"
Nodding and smiling back at her colleague, she sat down on the couch, pulled her knees up to her chest and accepted the large glass of dark red liquid. "Thanks."
"No problem at all."
As the movie played they sat in silence, not really watching or concentrating on what was happening on the large screen in front of them. The wine was going down easy, too easy, on Amanda's part and she could feel it go straight to her head since she had hardly eaten that day. There was a two foot gap between the two women and Amanda felt strange but also somewhat soothed to be so physically close to the brunette. Maybe it was the wine that made her all warm and relaxed but she accepted the feelings and tried not to fight them.
She hadn't a clue what the movie was about but stared at the screen anyway as her mind raced with mixed thoughts and feelings about her sister and everything she had put her through the past few days. She couldn't believe her own sister could do that to her. She was extremely hurt and in emotinal pain from coming home after work to see that her whole apartment had been robbed with not a single thing left behind. Her own sister, her own family, her own flesh and blood and completely turned on her, taken all her stuff, fucked off and was now a fugitive.
The tears welled up in her eyes as the emotional pain and despair became too much and she finished the rest of her wine in one big gulp and set the glass on the table, hoping that Olivia wouldn't notice her tears that had now began their way down her cheeks.
"Would you like another glass or... oh, honey!" Liv sighed, put her own almost empty glass down and scooted closer to the weeping blonde. "Come here, sweetie." she held her arms open, inviting Amanda to cuddle up against her chest but the blonde just shook her head, choking back the sobs as she didn't want Olivia to see her like this. "It's okay, honey. Let me do this for you. Just let me hold you, please."
She roped an arm around the younger woman's shoulder and pulled her close, tucking her head underneath her chin and began to rub soothing circles across her quivering back. "I know you're hurting, sweetie and I'm so sorry." she kissed the top of the blonde head and ran her fingers through the soft bangs that covered Amanda's forehead and eyes. "Shhhh, sweetheart. Everything is gonna be okay, I promise you that. You are so welcome here, honey, and you can stay as long as you want and need. I can't even imagine what you must be feeling right now but I'm here for you, my love. I'm right here." she soothed, grabbed a nearby blanket and tucked it tenderly around the frail and exhausted form in her arms, almost pulling Amanda into her lap.
Her stiffled sobs were tearing through her body as she hungrily clung to Olivia for support, her face pressed against the front of the brunette's shirt, wetting it with her tears but none of them seemed to care. She tried not to cry, tried not to break but the calming and soothing presence of Olivia made it difficult. She felt safe and comforted in her strong arms as she held her so tenderly, consoling her in any way she could and the warmth of her body pressed so tightly against her own became her safe haven.
"I... I'm s... sorry." she cried, her throat clogged with emotions, making it hard to speak.
"No, sweetheart! You have nothing to be sorry for. Never apologize for needing this, ever. I'll gladly give it to you and, if it helps you in any way shape or form, then I feel honoured to hold you like this. Don't be embarrassed for exposing your feelings in front of me, sweetie. I'm here for whatever you need, my love. Whatever you need."
Amanda cried for a very long time. The movie had ended and the credits were rolling across the screen. Her nose was blocked and stuffy, cheeks rosy red and her blue eyes were puffy and stinging from the constant crying. Pulling away slightly so she could get a proper look at Amanda's face, Liv lovinly brushed blonde hair away from her clammy forehead and kissed it gently. "Oh, sweetie, you look exhausted. Why don't you try and get some sleep? It's been a rough couple of days for you."
Her skin burnt and tingled where Olivia had placed the kiss and the blonde wanted to feel those lips on her again but on her own lips this time. Slowly she brought her head up, looked Liv straight in the eye and, before she knew it, their lips were pressed together in a hesitant but tender kiss.
As quick as it had started it ended and Amanda pulled away. "I... I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that, I... it won't happen again, I swear. I don't know what's wrong with me I... I... I'm so so sorry." she rambled and began to pull away completely. "I... I should go."
Before she had a chance to stand, Olivia pulled her back down, smiling reassuringly. "Honey, where are you gonna go? I didn't stop you, did I? You pulled away, not me and I'm not sorry you kissed me." she whispered and stroked a flushed cheek. "Honestly, honey, I enjoyed it so don't be afraid or worried that I will push you away or kick you out." she chuckled, "I still want you to stay."
Swallowing thickly Amanda nodded and smiled nervously. "O... okay. I... um, thank you." she stood up on two shaky legs, feeling her head spin as the alcohol swirled through her system.
"Whoa, honey, easy!" Liv was by her side in less than a second, supporting her by wrapping an arm around her waste, gently pulled her close and guided them both towards the spare bedroom where Amanda would reside for the unforeseeable future. "I've got you, honey. Let's get you into bed."
Amanda swayed on her feet as Olivia let go of her, to pull the covers down, but quickly supported her again as she spotted the unsteadiness. "Okay, come on, lie down, honey."
The younger woman looked at the bed and suddenly felt cold and alone. She didn't want to be alone, not right now, not tonight. The wine, the exhaustion, the jumbled feelings, emotions and thoughts caught up to her again and she started to cry once more, broken and heart wrenching sobs. In a way she had lost her sister, a family member and a childhood friend and she didn't know how to deal with it or how to process the resent painful chain of events. She just wrapped her arms around her middle, lowered her head and cried.
Olivia felt her own eyes burn just by witnessing Amanda's emotional turmoil and she placed a hand over her own heart, as if to ease or sooth the pain that came from seeing her friend in such a distraught state. "Oh, baby. Amanda, sweetheart!" she cooed, walked over to where she was standing and placed both of her hands on either side of the blonde's bent head. "Come with me, honey."
Still sobbing, Amanda let herself be guided out of the room and into Olivia's, slightly confused as to what she was doing there but was too upset to ask. The brunette must've seen the puzzled expression on her friend's face and gently calmed her down. "It's okay, my bed is bigger and I figured you don't want to be alone right now, do you?" the blonde shook her head and wiped at her damp face. "I'll just hold you, I promise. Come here, sweetheart."
Olivia pulled the thick covers back, got in and held an arm out for Amanda, letting her know that it was okay to cuddle up against her side and the smaller woman was quick to follow. She layed her head on Olivia's shoulder, facing her, still crying from the pain and the loss her sister had put her through.
"Shhh, it's alright, my love. I know you're hurting right now and I'm so sorry that you're going through this but you're not alone, sweetheart, I'm right here and I'll help you with everything, I promise you that." she stroked the flushed face only inches away from her own, their breaths mingling in the air between them. "Just close your eyes and sleep. You must be so tired, honey. Try to relax and go to sleep, I'll be right here the whole time. Right here."
In the warm and safe arms of Olivia, Amanda slept.