Smoothly inhaling, roughly exhaling. Tap Tap Tap.. Tap... The bomber boy taps his pen on the desk, thinking about right now, thinking about today, thinking about tomorrow, thinking about the future and the past. What could possibly be so important? What could he possibly be thinking about? "Tch..-" He decides to not think. He decides that everything is better off the way it is now. After all, this man is twenty-five years old, an adult, a man who surprisingly still has his pride. He's had more than enough time to clearly think this through. Yet, it's too late, it seems.
What is this story about anyways? Is something you're probably wondering to yourself..
To get straight to the point.. A man with a storm in his heart. A storm so fierce, so unbelievably fierce. A storm that will never die.
"Fuck this!" Gokudera angrily growls under his breath, kicking the coffee table in front of him. He believed and will continue believing, no matter what you think or say, that it is his own fault for his boss expiring, forever. Now, how will he fill the void in his heart? Is it possible? I'd say, it's probably not possible.
You see, this man, who has been by Tsuna's side for a good ten years.. Failed him. He failed him and not only that, he failed himself. The memories slowly attacked him, they slowly ate him away. 'I'm no longer trying to be a strong and reckless right hand man. I seek to be a right hand man for the Vongola Decimo who survives to laugh side by side with the boss.' ..He remembers the exact day he told this to Tsuna. Ahh yes, a very important day it was. Even more memories poured into him now. He's constantly reminded of Tsuna's scent, his sweet smile, his voice, his caramel-colored eyes, and the incredible ability he had to save people from themselves. Now you're probably wondering to yourself just what kind of relationship these two men had. Well, good news, I'll be the one to tell you it was completely, in absolute, platonic. It was a friendship. A boss and his right hand man relationship. That is all. But yes, to answer the question to your real thoughts, Gokudera was in fact in love with this man. This man he highly respected. The man he would risk it all for, at any time, at any day, you say the word. Had the man returned his feelings? ... No. Because Tsuna, couldn't return his feelings. There was a beautiful girl, a lovely girl he had met ten years ago in which you can say the cheesiest shit ever, "Love at first sight.", and agree. And of course he pursued his dreams of being with the one he loved, in the future. But why didn't Gokudera say anything before it was too late? That's because he respected his boss, he wanted him to be happy, even if it meant getting rid of his own happiness completely. Being around him was enough. Anyways, back to the damn sad story.. Enough talk about his dreams being crushed by a girl.
Gokudera was strong. He continued on caring for and loving nobody else but Tsuna for these full ten years and he never once mentioned his true feelings towards him. Maybe.. Just maybe.. If.. I repeat, if, Gokudera had said something earlier, his destiny could have gone a different path leading him to joy and happiness and all that other shit you see in romantic late night movies being shown on the TV. Like I explained earlier though, there's no time for it now. His boss, his precious Tsuna, is gone. Gone forever, gone with the wind, gone with the leaves, gone.. But now.. What will he do? I thought I established that already. Nothing, he ain't gonna do nothing. Maybe, he will spend the rest of his days trying to fill the void in his heart but eventually come to conclusion that there is nothing in this world that can fill that void. He'll spend the rest of his days blaming himself for such a tragic event to occur to the point he's gone mad. Completely insane. For now, however.. He can wait for a miracle to happen. A miracle for the future to be changed. Because this man, who surprisingly still has his pride, believes that the future will be changed. There's still a small bit of something called "Hope" inside of him. Where did he find that hope? you ask. ..Well.. The truth is.. He didn't find it. He learned to believe in it, and it's all thanks to the man I mentioned earlier. Tsuna. His boss. His everything. The fifteen-year old Gokudera has a chance to rewrite his fate, he has a chance to fix the way his life will end.
One month later:
"Juudaime! Is that you?! Please listen to me..!" He shook the fifteen-year old Tsuna's shoulders and begged for him to listen. "O-oww! Gokudera-kun that hurts!" .. Just hearing his voice made him tremble in pain, pain far greater than he expected.. "Sorry, Juudaime.. Please listen to everything I need to say.."
... The future can be changed, the future will be changed, I swear on it, were his thoughts as he mentally prepared himself to speak to his Tsuna.
The storm in my heart, will never, be undone.