Star Wars
Attack of The Klowns
Anakin Skywalker didn't know what to make of the creature that stood smiling before him. It was grotesque, yet somehow comical. An 2.4 meter tall humanoid wearing a baggy white and pink polka-dotted costume with a pasty white, flabby face, bright green hair and pudgy, four fingered hands. His leering mouth was huge, with fat red lips and crooked, sharp fangs, and there were pink and purple highlights around his yellow eyes. His most noticeable feature, however, was his nose, big, round and red.
He radiated evil and darkness as a star radiates light.
"Who are you?" Anakin lit his lightsaber and assumed a defensive posture. This creature reeked of the Dark Side of the Force.
The creature pulled out an ice cream cone. He activated it, revealing a shimmering pink beam of pure energy, and spoke in a ridiculously high-pitched voice, "Don't worry, Ani. I just want to kill you."
The creature swung at the Jedi, who countered, blocking his blow. He jumped several meters into the air, landing on massive feet with a loud squeaking sound, "Come to The Dark Side Anakin, we have cookies!"
"What are you!?" Anakin swung aggressively at the creature, whose body contorted into a C shape to avoid the blow. He giggled, "Be a Klown! Be a Klown! Be a Klown!" He pulled out a small tube and pressed it, shooting strings of colored paper at the confused Jedi Knight, then swung with his his ice cream lightsaber, slashing Anakin lightly across the chest. "You're gonna' die." He sang cheerfully.
Anakin Skywalker felt a black rage rising up within him, "No. You're going to die." He used Force Push to knock the Klown back several meters, then began Force Choke, but nothing happened. The Klown responded by firing multicolored lightning from his pudgy white hands, flinging Anakin to the ground, bathing him in agony. As Anakin writhed on the ground, the Klown approached, laughing with a tooth-filled mouth that nearly split his face in half.
"Hi, kids! I'm Darth Bobo! And I'm here to kill you!"
A blaster bolt struck the creature from behind, with no discernible effect. Darth Bobo turned his head completely around, facing forward over his back, to see a clone trooper. The rest of his body turned toward the trooper, who kept shooting. "That wasn't very nice. Here, have some pie." The Klown pulled a pie from thin air and flung it into the clone's face. He began screaming when it hit, then fell dead, his head melting into steaming goo.
Anakin struck the Klown from behind, impaling him. He laughed evilly and turned, slapping Anakin in the face, "Silly Jedi. You don't know the power of The Dark Side." He wagged a fat finger in the Jedi's face, "There's Darkness in you. You'll join the Circus, soon."
"SHUT UP!" Anakin, enraged, punched the Klown in his big red nose. His cybernetic fist hit with such force that the nose exploded. Darth Bobo screamed and began to twirl in a miniature green tornado before exploding into tiny pieces of colored paper. The Force shuddered with the passing of such great evil, drawing the warmth from Anakin's bones.
Anakin stood dumbfounded as the paper showered down around him.
The End