This has probably been done before, yeah, but it doesn't stop me from writing it.
Inconspicuous wasn't a skill of Kurt's. Blaine hadn't been able to make it. Actually, Kurt had sat in his car outside the drugstore before checking his phone. So Kurt sighed, sucked it up like a man, and scurried into the family planning aisle.
He was sure his face was bright red as he looked at the labels. Flavored condoms, he thought, then, why would you need flavoured condoms? Another glance at the shelf revealed something even more mind-blowing and disgusting. Kurt made a face. Okay, he told himself, I am a mature adult that doesn't want to get an STD. He took a deep breath, snatched the nearest non-flavored things off the shelf and turned to run, only to see someone standing in the aisle.
A tall someone, with short brown hair and a puffy vest. A very recognizable someone.
"Kurt?" said Finn.
"Finn!" Kurt gasped, making a move to hide the package under his jacket, behind his back, anywhere, and maybe he could just say he'd accidentally wandered down that aisle. But Finn had already seen.
"What are you doing here?" Finn said. "And why are you holding—"
"I'd have thought that would be obvious, since you didn't just wander down here for no reason," said Kurt dryly. He glanced at the shelf, which was a mistake, because he blurted, "Why do they make flavoured—" Kurt realized what he was saying and shut up. "Look, I'm just going to go…"
"Wait, dude, are you having sex?" Finn whisper-yelled, a bit too loudly.
Kurt's face, if possible, turned an even brighter shade of scarlet than before. The tint on Finn's face was slightly pink, too. "No! I mean, not right now I'm not!"
"But you have—" He gestured to Kurt's hands and waved his hands around. "Stuff!"
"Finn, shut up!" Kurt said, glancing around. Oh, god, if anyone else was in here… "Yes, I plan on it, Finn, now leave me alone!"
He turned to storm away, but Finn's voice called after him. "Which ones should I get?"
"God, Finn!" Kurt's voice rose. "Any one, I don't care!"
That was when he realized he was walking further into the store, and whirled around, stalking right past Finn. He paid the cashier, who looked like he'd had a good laugh at the two (Kurt's face was still akin to a fire truck) and left the store. At the exit he paused to say a few last words to Finn—"Let us never speak of this again."