Homer Here: I don't know why I made this.
Disclaimer: Death Note does not belong to me but Takeshi Obata-chan and Tsugumi Ohba-sensei.
Reviews are as good as cookies…
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Light had many products for his personal hygiene, which he had organized in alphabetical order. He knew what each and every bottle looked like, tasted like, and smelled like. He always used the same brands every time, and if a store did not have his brand, he would simply travel the whole town/city/country/continent/world, or conquer all of cyberspace just to find it.
He knew L's products as well. Before Light had even been chained to the man (this being their first night together), he knew the products the detective (hardly) used; for Light had an uncanny knack, which he labeled as a "gift", to be able to tell precisely what product who was using, the name, sent, brand, value, price, when/where/how they used it, even the very store the product was bought. He could tell the type of toothpaste someone used just by the white of their smile. Oh yes, Light had a great power.
This is why the tube sitting in front of him puzzled him so damn much.
It couldn't have been L's. L only (rarely) used his strawberry-scented shampoo and conditioner for his hair and some strawberry-flavored toothpaste for brushing his teeth.
Then it was a trick Sayu decided to play on him. She somehow knew that Light's things were brought to him today from home by Watari- and she wanted to embarrass Light in front of the great detective L, which she also somehow knew about! So, when Watari had his back turned, she must have snuck the vulgar tube with his things… No, he was sounding too paranoid, now…
The odd thing was that it was on his side of the sinks he shared with L, which made his OCD flame up to the point of breaking his personal record. But, instead of doing what he would normally do in circumstances like these, like throwing a hissy-fit and chucking the object-in-question into the garbage bin victoriously, he tried to remain calm and steady.
This had to be a trap, was his conclusion. L had trapped Light, putting something so obscene onto Light's side just to see his reaction- no, Kira's reaction- and Light knew perfectly well that if he did start a tantrum, the detective would raise the Kira Percentage placed on him.
But why the fuck did it have to be lube!
"Light-kun," L's taunting voice cut Light off from his plotting of the detective's demise (a very Kira-like thing to do), "Is there something wrong?"
Light allowed his irritation show through with the twitch of a perfect eyebrow, "There's lube on my side."
"Lube?" L whipped his head around in a bird-like manor and peered over at Light's impressive collection of toiletries. "Oh, that's mine."
"W-What!" Light was suddenly very frightful for his person, imagining the worst possible scenarios for why L would need lube when he was chained with another man. The chains… the lube… it all made since, now! Misa was right: L was on that side of the fence! And he was in love with Light, a-and he wanted to…
…Do the nasties with him…
Light covered his mouth in shock. Why was he now just realizing this? Wasn't he supposed to be a genius? Then why had Misa Misa come to the conclusion that The World's Greatest Detective was gay before Light Yagami could! The man followed him everywhere! He had cameras in his room and had watched him masturbate. Light thought he was going to be sick.
"You don't mean…"
"Yes, I use it for my back."
It was then that the Universe flipped upside down and all the volcanos erupted and every tectonic plate shook and countless tsunamis whipped out entire civilizations and whatnot and all was complete chaos, because Light flipped the fuck out.
The world was simply not ready for L's… oddity…