Title: Used To
Category: TV Shows » General Hospital
Author: GwenhwyfarRose
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T
Genre: Angst
Published: 11-22-06, Completed
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,721

Warnings/Spoilers: The words were taken directly from the 11-14-2006 episode when Lulu visits the mansion. Everything before that is fair game.

Summary: can we get this back to how we used to be?

Official Disclaimer: All General Hospital characters and plots belong to Frank and Doris Hursley, and ABC. I do not hold stock either the people or the company. Dillon Quartermaine, Lesley Lu Spencer, and any other character featured are NOT mine. The title, summary, and lyrics come from the Chris Daughtry song Used To and I don't own that either.

We used to have this figured out.
We used to breathe without a doubt.
When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see
we used to have this under control.
We never thought; we used to know.
At least there's you and at least there's me.
Can we get this back? Can we get this back
to how things used to be?

The front door slamming is what gets his attention. It was obvious that whoever came through the door wasn't too concerned about anyone hearing them. Which to Dillon meant it was only one of four people that had a key. He paused and smiled slightly. Luke had been tip-toeing around the grounds for the last few days, so he could bring the total down to three. Last he checked, his mother was upstairs sleeping off a fluoxetine induced high and his grandfather had planned to spend the day at ELQ and as far away from Tracy's ranting as possible.

And there was only one person left.

Even as he stepped out of his grandfather's office, he caught sight of a blue jean clad arm shouldering a gold purse. Lulu ran a quick hand through her hair as she double checked the set of keys in the other. Most likely it was the set that Alice had loaned Luke after Tracy began her little temper tantrum.

"Hey."

He pushed the door open the rest of the way and watched as she tossed the keys onto the table, smiling up at him. "Hey."

Lulu's smile must have been contagious, because his lips twitched up in a nervous grin on their own. "Leaving already?"

"Well, yeah." She clapped her hands together after running them along her hairline, allowing her teeth to catch her bottom lip for the barest of seconds. Lulu apparently was just as nervous as he was. It was a shame that he didn't know why. "I'm bringing some stuff to my old room at my grandma's –" She caught herself, and bounced slightly on her knees even as she shook her head, "at my current room at my parent's house," she corrected pointedly.

He laughed at her slip, making sure to catch her eye. "How's your mom?"

"She's good." Lulu's face brightened at even the hint of Laura, and Dillon was glad that she at least had something to smile about as of late. She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and shrugged. "That whole secret – you know, she actually remembered that she killed her stepfather on accident and – I don't know." She paused and looked up at him slowly. Opening up to him was something she didn't do too much of anymore. Dillon smiled nervously and somehow she found that reassuring enough to continue her ramble. "The doctors thought it would make her flip out, but she handled it, and I think she's stronger than a lot of people think."

Her smile had grown and Dillon couldn't think of a single thing to say to that. "That's good." He decided lamely. "That's good." She nodded her agreement and his hands came out of his pocket if only briefly. "I mean, that means you can, you know be honest with her." Lulu had stopped nodding. "Tell her the truth."

"Limited honesty," she reiterated. For a split second, he could have sworn that the closed off Lulu had returned. Maybe Laura could help her with that. "I don't think my mom's ready to handle everything."

With an ironic chuckle, Dillon studied the floor. "Yeah, you haven't told her about you yet, have you?"

"Well I know it makes me sound like a coward, but I'm not the only person." He watched her cheeks flush and smiled again. There was the girl who had first gotten his attention; defensive to the last. "And my dad didn't tell her that he was married to your mom, so –"

"Wait, what?" The entire first half of the conversation was forgotten as blinked and shook his head. The last he checked his mother and Luke were just as much of a leally wedded couple as Alan and Monica. Granted the later was slightly happier than the former. "'Was married'? They're – that's past tense."

"Yeah," her face darkened and then brightened again, something someone would only notice if they were paying attention. "They got divorced in the Dominican Republic." Her head shook slightly as if he should know this already. "My dad just told me."

"Okay. Does my mom know?"

He was moving around her, hands still imbedded in his pockets and she frowned as she turned to keep up. "She must." She spit out carefully. There was no way that Tracy couldn't have known. Divorce papers needed two signatures more often than naught.

"Because she's talking about it like – like they're still married." Lulu's hands came out in what had to be the universal sign for 'I have no idea' and Dillon's head rocked when it hit him. "Or she's in denial." He offered with a curt laugh. It was entirely possible that Tracy wasn't giving up her fantasy just yet.

"Well, she still loves him."

Suddenly Dillon could look anywhere in the foyer but at her. "Yeah, I know."

Lulu ran a hand through her hair and smiled the best she could. "It's just hard when you love someone and they love someone else." Their eyes met, and Dillon realized that maybe they weren't just talking about their parents anymore. He was more than grateful when she dropped her hands to her hips and looked away. "Well, let's look on the bright side – at least we're not step-siblings, so –" He laughed and yet again they found it really hard to look at each other. "So maybe that lessens the ick factor of all of the bad stuff that happened."

She looked far too hopeful for Dillon to say anything negative at that point. Not that what was going through his head was negative. "I don't – I don't think that it was all bad." He told her honestly, pulling his glasses off of his face and concentrating on cleaning them off. "I mean, a lot of the time –" He looked up at her. "Most of the time I had," his mind groped for the right word, "fun with you."

"Yeah, I mean it's – it's weird leaving." She pointed out, trying to make the situation better and less awkward at the same time. "I mean, I'm – I'm happy. I am –" If Dillon didn't know better he would try to say that she was trying to convince herself of that absolute. "I have my mom back, and they're getting remarried." The smile they shared no longer had anything to do with secrets of the past. It was Lulu and her desperate need to stay positive. To stay grounded. "And all that complaining I did about my family – I finally – I finally have it." The floor proved to be more interesting once again and the smile left her eyes. "But – um – I don't know. It just kind of feels like I'm losing something," losing you her eyes whispered as she cocked her head to the side and looked over at him. Dillon's sobered and he managed to catch her meaning. For the briefest of seconds he wondered if his conveyed the same message. "I guess I'm just one of those people who are never satisfied."

For the briefest of seconds, Dillon wanted to laugh.

Lesley Lu Spencer was one of the most insatiable people that he had ever had the pleasure of meeting. And he meant it entirely in a good way.

She had this – zest to know and understand everything, and she never wanted less than she thought she deserved. It was what had driven them together, he supposed, as well as apart. "Well, I don't know. You're one of those people that doesn't settle." He took a step to her and held her gaze. "But I think that's a good thing."

He had caught her off guard, and the way she tilted her head further to the side and nodded told him so. "Thank you." She whispered playfully, hoisting her purse back onto her shoulder and turning to the door. Her mom probably expected her home soon so they could finish with the wedding plans and he knew of all the people that Lulu could disappoint, her mother was not even on the list.

"Hey, Lu?" She hadn't even made it to the door, and he looked down at his hands to keep himself busy when he called out to her. She stopped and turned and he refused to look at her. It wasn't that he didn't want to, he just wasn't sure he could say what he needed to say that way. "I'm going to miss you."

Again he could tell that his honesty shocked her. She didn't move, her smile widened just slightly, and she nodded in understanding. "I'll miss you, too." She admitted, turning one more time for the door. Out of the corner of his eye he watched her grab the duffle bag that she had apparently filled and pull the door open with her other hand.

It wasn't until the door was shut firmly behind her that he allowed himself to exhale and slide his glasses back onto the bridge of his nose.

"Was that the door?" His eyes rocked up to the stairs as Alice hefted a laundry basket closer to her on her descent.

"Lulu just left." He told her slowly, looking to the door.

His life had suddenly become less complicated.

And more.