White Roses By Dracavia
Rating: R (for violence and character death)
Summary: When you love someone, you'll do anything you can to protect them.
Warning: Slight Slash (male-male relationship) this is your one and only warning, if you don't like it please hit the back button now.
Pairing: DM/HP
Disclaimer: If I owned any of Harry Potter and stuff like that, do you think I would be working or studying at Uni? At all? Ever? Didn't think so. And if I were JKR I wouldn't have taken 3 years to get out the 5th book (mark your calendars everyone, it's coming June 21st!!!!!).
Spoilers: Since it's a ficlet, not many, just some general stuff I guess.
Feedback: Yes please! ;-) Constructive criticism is, as always, greatly appreciated. I am constantly trying to improve my writing and reviews of this nature are just as welcome as any other kind words :)
A/N: I don't
really know where this ficlet came from, plot bunnies come in all shapes and
sizes and this one suddenly appeared and bit me one evening.
Oh and the lyrics before and after the story weren't involved in the actual
writing this story, but the songs just happened be to playing while I was
proofreading and I felt the lines fit.
~*~*~*~
I'm grieving for the dreams you could have had
Mist in the rain, snow on the rising tide.
Over and over they disappear
I'm grieving for the love we should have had
The feeling was there, I just couldn't say the words
Holding you tight as we said goodbye
The last bright light....
The Last Bright Light – Mostly Autumn
~*~*~*~
Each week I watch you visit this lonesome grave. It doesn't matter the weather, rain, sleet or snow, every week you make the trip. I don't think you've missed one yet.
You never speak, just silently staring at the marker or the sky. Before you leave you place a single white rose atop the stone and whisper a single word, "Goodbye."
You've no idea how much these visits mean to my heart. No one else ever comes, except by you, I am forgotten.
~Flashback~
"What do you want Malfoy? I didn't agree to this meeting to be stared at all night."
Draco shook his head to dispel the daze he'd fallen into at the sight of the moonlight upon Harry's features, sneer firmly in place he replied, "I asked you here to make an offer."
"I doubt there's any offer you could make I'd want to hear," Harry moved towards the door.
"Even if I was willing to give you information on the Death Eaters and Voldemort? If I was willing to work for The Order?"
The dark haired boy turned suddenly around, "You what?!"
"You heard me the first time Potter, I've no desire to repeat myself."
"Why in Merlin's name would you want to do a thing like that? Voldemort rose nearly three years ago, and now suddenly you want to help fight him? What's the catch, what do you want out of all this?"
'To keep you safe, to end this damn war as quickly as possible, to preserve the indescribable strength, beauty and innocence that is you,' those thoughts rushed through Draco's mind, but none of them were voiced. "This bloody war has gone on long enough, it's about time I chose a side, and I'm not going to side with my bastard of a father. That man has never treated me as though I had any worth; at least you and yours have bothered to find me a worthy opponent. So I suppose that's why I'm willing to help you…if it means I get to see that hypocritical jerk and his insane master go down…"
Harry stared at him, puzzled, "I'll never understand you, Malfoy. For the last six and a half years I've never heard you say anything other than insults towards muggles and muggleborns, and now you're saying you want to help stop the side that hates them as well, just because you have a vendetta against your father?"
Draco shrugged, "What can I say, I suppose I'm being petty, but hey that's me. Besides, I don't hate muggleborns," Harry looked skeptical, "I may not think they should receive equal status, but hate, no. Most of what I've said has been because that's what's expected of a Malfoy, it's the family line, or has been for quite a few generations anyway."
"You'll have to prove yourself Malfoy, and you're going to have to meet with Dumbledore. After the disgust I've harbored against you for this long you can't expect me to suddenly trust you."
'You may not trust me now, but I'll earn that trust, somehow I will,' sneer returning to his face Draco replied, "I'm not daft, I know that. I'll do what I have to, to prove my loyalty, and I'll meet with your precious Dumbledore, just tell me where and when."
"Expect an owl from me tomorrow evening with the information," and with that Harry left the room.
Draco's eyes trailed after him, "I won't let you down Harry, after what I've seen of the person you've become these last few years…I'll do anything I can not to let you down," the words were whispered into an unhearing night, and silently Draco left the room as well.
~End Flashback~
You returned again, as you always do. This time you spoke to me, I know you don't think I hear, but I do. I treasure every word that drops from your soft pink lips.
You were regretting the loss of what could have been between us…if only things had been different. Oh how I wish there could have been a chance, but I wouldn't throw away what moments we had together for anything…if I were to be told that by erasing the memories of those three short years we were friends I would get my life back, I wouldn't do it.
~Flashback~
Laughter filled the kitchen of the small flat; it was so good to laugh again now that the war was finally over.
Three young men stood around the room, two leaning against counters while the blonde worked at the stove.
"Damn Drake, I thought Ron was gonna have a conniption when he realised you were at the wedding yesterday. You'd think after all we'd been through that boy would've put aside his dislike for you."
"You wish Josh, but I wasn't there for Weasley. 'Mione is my friend, just as much as you and Harry are," he tilted his head indicating the other man in the room, "and there's no way I'd miss her wedding day, even if she did decide to marry such a git."
"Hey, that's one of my best friends you're talking about there," Harry playfully poked the blonde in the ribs, gaining a good-natured smile for his efforts.
"That just goes to show that everyone has their moments of lapse in taste. Really, you'd think with friends like Josh, 'Mione and myself, you wouldn't need to hang around such a twit."
What followed was a torrent of lighthearted bickering between the two, as their friend looked on laughing. "And just what is so funny, may I ask?" Harry raised one dark eyebrow at his friend.
Josh paused in his laughing long enough to answer, "You two are. You act like an old married couple or something…you really should think about dating, you're perfect for each other. Hell, that demonstration would convince anyone, who didn't know you, that you already were."
Draco and Harry both looked furtively towards the other, managing as usual not to notice the look of interest in the other's eyes.
With a sigh Harry finally spoke, "Nah, you know me Josh, I'll be a bachelor till the end of my days." He missed the look of disappointment that crossed Draco's face.
~End Flashback~
Today is the second anniversary of that sad night, the night when hopes for the future were ended. You made a special trip to come visit me today; that makes it twice this week.
I wish things hadn't worked out this way, that we could still be together, but I would still have done it even if I had the chance to live it all over again. The price may have been high, but I couldn't have lived with myself if I had let you go.
~Flashback~
Two men were walking together through a deserted park, late in the evening.
"Harry, I'm so glad we finally did this, went on a date I mean."
"Josh has been pestering us for more than a year that we should be dating, and after this wonderful evening I have to admit he was right."
"So you want to go out again?" the blonde's voice was hopeful.
A smile spread across Harry's face, "Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to be my boyfriend."
A look of mock shock appeared on Draco's face and in his voice, "Why Mr Potter, how sudden, we've only had one date, I hardly know you. I don't know if I can make such a commitment…"
He was cut off as his dark-haired companion pulled him in close for a sensuous kiss. "Did that convince you?" Harry asked in a hushed voice.
"Hell yeah," Draco leaned in for another kiss. Through half lidded eyes Draco saw a shadowy movement near some bushes, and quickly drew out of the kiss. Quietly he whispered, "Harry, we're being watched, there's someone out there," the worry was evident in his voice.
"Drake, you're being paranoid, the war's been over for almost two years, who'd want to follow us?"
"I suppose you're right," but the worry was still there, only barely veiled.
"Come on, if you're that nervous we'll get out of this dreary park and head back to my place, it's closest."
"Alright…" just as Draco was about to turn around to walk beside Harry, he saw a movement in the shadows, this time he was certain there was someone there. "Harry, I swear, I just saw someone hide behind those bushes."
Harry began to worry, if Draco was so certain someone was there, then maybe there was. Determined to stay calm for Draco's sake, Harry spoke firmly, "Then lets get out of here quickly Drake, once we reach the street there're lamps to light the way, and no shadows to hide in."
The blonde nodded nervously, and began walking alongside Harry towards the far side of the park, listening intently to the sounds around him. He was sure he heard more than one person moving around now.
Suddenly two figures stepped out of the shadows in front of them, the pair turned around, only to find three more figures behind them.
"Hand us your valuables and maybe we'll let you both live," came the cold cruel voice of one of the dark figures.
Draco noticed each figure had a gun or knife, "Harry, maybe we should do as the man asks." He saw the glint in Harry's eye, it was the same one that had appeared before each battle of the war, 'No Harry, please no heroics, lets just get out of here alive,' his thoughts screamed.
"I would listen to your friend, smart bloke," the cold voice, obviously the leader, spoke towards Harry.
Harry quickly moved his hand to grab his wand. The leader must have thought he was going for a gun, and raised his own and took aim. Just as Harry pulled out his wand, the figure pulled the trigger. Draco shoved Harry out of the way, falling into the path of the bullet himself, he landed heavily on the pathway.
"Stupefy!" Harry intoned at the group, and all five figures collapsed without firing another shot. Quickly he rushed to Draco's side, there was a bullet wound on his chest, and it was bleeding profusely 'Oh Merlin no, it must have hit a blood vessel…' Gathering the pale body close to him, Harry pulled out his folded handkerchief and pressed it against the wound, trying to slow the blood, "Drake! Draco, come on, wake-up. Can you hear me? We've got to get you to a hospital somehow."
Grey eyes opened to look into the worried ones above him, before he could say anything he began coughing violently, blood coming from his mouth. The coughing passed and he raised a single hand, weakly, to the side of Harry's face, "You should have done as he asked you daft fool," his voice was a hoarse whisper.
"Why did you do that? I should have been the one hurt, not you!" Harry's voice was frantic, he had no idea how he would find help, it was a large park and no one was around. He'd have to run to the nearest street to find anyone, but he couldn't leave Draco alone in this condition, he was still bleeding too much. Quickly he raised his wand and fired red sparks in the air, hoping they'd catch the attention of an officer or someone else.
Draco smiled at him dimly, "I did that for the same reason I joined your side in the war, you daft bugger, because I love you…I have for the last four years…" his breathing became more erratic, his lungs filling with blood. His eyes closed.
"Draco! Please don't leave me, I love you too. Please hang in there a little longer!" Even as he said this, Harry felt the warm body in his arms grow still. "No! Draco, please, I love you, don't go, please…" He began sobbing loudly, clutching Draco's still body against his chest.
~End Flashback~
Gods I loved you so much, I still do. I heard you that night, I know you wondered if I did, hoped that I knew I was loved when I left, I did. If I had to die, I'm glad it was in your arms.
I'm sorry you suffered, I tried to protect you from all harm, but that was one thing I couldn't prevent. I didn't want to leave you, but I didn't have a choice this time.
~Flashback~
After the last flower landed on the coffin, slowly the hole was filled with dirt. A dark-haired man stood near the grave, watching.
A woman with long brown hair walked up beside him, pulling him into a warm hug. "The funeral's over Harry, you should go now, let these men do their job in peace." She led him to a tree a fair distance from the grave.
"I can't believe he's gone 'Mione, I feel like I should be able to walk over to his flat and he'll be there, smiling and waiting for me."
"I know. We'll all miss him Harry, he was my friend too."
He shook his head, "You don't understand…I loved him, I don't know when it happened, sometime during the war I think, but I really did. I still do! And I didn't do anything about it; it took a year of Josh pestering us for us to go out on a date…He died on that blasted date! Damn, why didn't I do things differently?! If I hadn't taken so long to admit to myself how I felt we could've been safe at home together, instead of walking through that park…why did we have to go through that park?!"
Hermione wiped some of the tears from his face, "It's too late to change things now, what's done is done. All the 'whys' and 'what ifs' in the world can't change that, so there's no use beating yourself up with them."
This time when he spoke, his voice was barely a whisper, "His last words were to tell me he loved me, that he'd loved me since school, that it was why he'd helped in the war…How could we have made it through that damn war together only for him to die at the hands of some bloody muggle!……I tried to tell him I loved him too, but I don't know if he heard before he…God I feel so lost and alone without him!"
He returned to sobbing and Hermione drew him close once again, "Shh, shh, I'm sure he knew Harry, Draco was good at reading people, you especially. I'm sure he already knew." She continued to hold him to her gently, "I know you probably don't want to hear this, but Draco would want you to move on. Yes you need to grieve, but someday you'll meet someone else, maybe you won't feel the same way about them that you did for Draco, but you will find them. You won't be alone forever, and you still have your friends."
He shook his head vehemently, "No, there won't ever be anyone else. I'll never stop loving him, and I can't let someone replace him, I won't. I won't spend the years I should have been with him, with someone else."
"Oh Harry…"
~End Flashback~
Hermione was right you know, she always is. I want you to be happy, and I've realised that means you need to put me aside, you need to move on. And maybe you finally are, the last time you came I thought I saw someone waiting for you by the gate. I tried to give you a hug, to reassure you that moving on was alright, but I don't exist the same way I used to. Somehow though, I think you knew I was there, and I hope you felt my love and understood my message. We had three great years of friendship, and now you have had three more years to mourn, it's time you moved on.
Here you come walking towards my grave again; this time there's a whole bouquet of white roses in your hand. I can here you telling me that you've found someone, reassuring me it's not the same as what we had between us, and that you will always remember and love me.
And this time when you say goodbye I know it's for good, I see him there, waiting to pull you into his strong arms. Be happy with him my love.
I can feel a force pulling me away from this world now; perhaps it was just waiting for this final goodbye. I don't know where I'm going, whether to heaven, hell or somewhere unknown, but I know you have someone else to take care of you now, and so, wherever I end up, I will be happy knowing you are loved. Goodbye my love, goodbye.
~*~*~*~
If you told me to cry for you
I could
If you told me to die for you
I would
Take a look at my face
There's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you
* * *
And I will love you, baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you – Always
Always – Jon Bon Jovi
~*~*~*~
~finis~