DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hyperdimension Neptunia.

A/N: Happy New Year everyone!

Enjoy!

Neptune was hot.

No, she was being smothered.

By the Noire on her right arm, and by the Noire on her left arm.

"Neptune, won't you sleep with me...?" The one on the right, Dere-Noire, whispered, her cheeks flushed as she looked up at Neptune with longing eyes.
"No, Neptune's going to sleep with me!" The one on the left, Forceful-Noire, exclaimed, holding her tight.
"Hey, Noire and, uh, Noire... don't I get a say in this?" Neptune weakly muttered.
"No." They both replied.

"That's not fair!" Neptune looked over towards Noire-Oneechan. "Noire, help me, please!"
"Why should I? It's your fault this happened." Noire-Oneechan said, crossing her arms.
"How is this my fault!? All I did was go to sleep!" The girl whined.
"W-well..." Noire-Oneechan looked flustered for a few moments before she finally gave in and walked over to pull the other two Noires off of Neptune.

"OK, girls, that's enough out of you two. If you really want to sleep, go sleep with each other!" Noire-Oneechan told them.
"I don't want to sleep with anyone but Neptune!" Forceful-Noire protested.
"I-I wouldn't mind sleeping with you..." Dere-Noire whispered, looking at Forceful-Noire.
Forceful-Noire blinked. "...Huh?"

Before either Noire could react, Noire-Oneechan threw them into a room by themselves and locked the door. "There." She said, dusting her hands off before she turned back to look at Neptune. "How's tha-"

"Hey! Wait, not there!" Neptune was currently being latched unto by a Noire that was dressed only in Noire's favorite babydoll nightwear.
"With those two out of the way, I can have you all to myself, Neptune~" Lewd-Noire whispered into the girl's ears, wrapping her arms around the girl's waist.
"No you don't!" Noire-Oneechan quickly grabbed Lewd-Noire by one of her twintails and threw her into another room.
"Whew..." Neptune breathed a sigh of relief as she fixed her pajamas. Lewd-Noire had been trying to get just a little too personal.

"Ugh, really... Why am I so much trouble?" Noire-Oneechan muttered to herself, looking at Neptune. "Oh, right... It's not me. It's because you're dreaming about all of this stuff!"
"What I dream about isn't my fault!" Neptune retorted. "If I had control, don't you think there'd at least be some pudding here!?"
"Here, say 'aaa'~" Another Noire, Lovey-Dovey-Noire, suddenly appeared with a cup of pudding.
"Aaa~" The purple-haired girl reacted solely on instinct, and she receiving a spoonful of pudding as her reward.

Noire-Oneechan watched them with a blank stare.

After Lovey-Dovey-Noire was finished feeding Neptune, she stepped back and leaned forward, an affectionate look in her eyes. "Now that you've had dinner, would you like to have a bath, or would you like to have m-"
Noire-Oneechan stepped in, pulling Lovey-Dovey-Noire back by the collar of her shirt. "Not you!"
"Awww! I wanted to hear you say that!" Neptune pouted.
"Too bad." Noire-Oneechan muttered, crossing her arms.

"You're no fun, Noire! This is why you don't have any friends!" Neptune continued to pout as she placed her hands on her hips.
"I-I do to have friends!" Noire-Oneechan protested.
"No, you don't." Lovey-Dovey-Noire interjected.
"You stay out of this!"

"Look, Noire," Neptune began, like she had just thought of something, "if you want to make some friends, you have to learn how to be 'fun'!"
"..." Noire-Oneechan pouted as she looked at the girl.
"So~!" Neptune suddenly gave her a peace sign. "Let's give it a try!"
"...Give what a try...?" She muttered.

"That, of course!" Both Neptune and Lovey-Dovey-Noire exclaimed.
"N-no way!" Noire-Oneechan, flustered, cried out.
"Killjoy." Neptune muttered.
"No Fun Noire." Lovey-Dovey-Noire muttered.

"Fine!" Noire-Oneechan exclaimed, face red. "I... I'll... say it..."
Neptune smiled and leaned forward, eager to hear it.

Noire-Oneechan averted her eyes as she nervously shifted on the balls of her feet. "W-would you like to have dinner..." she turned her head off to the side, her cheeks burning, "or a bath..." she then looked at Neptune from out of the corner of her eyes, "or... me~?" She ended in a soft whisper.

Neptune's cheeks turned pink.

Lovey-Dovey-Noire's cheeks turned red.

"You!" They both shouted, tackling the surprised girl down to the ground.
"Kyaaa!?"

Neptune woke up from her dream with one crazy bed hair. "Now I want to hear the real Noire say that..."