Stuttering
Disclaimer: I don't own anything!
Four years I've been by your side. Four years I was there, through everything. The war, I was there the whole time, right by your side. There for you to lean on when it all became too much, to hold you and to tell you it would all be okay, even though I didn't know myself if it would be. But I stayed right by you to the very end.
Even after the end of the war, I was there. When the depression hit, I was there for you. There to hold you through the night when nightmares of the war left you sobbing and trembling, and when you tried to take your own life… I was there. There to pull you back up, there to show you that it was okay to be happy again, it was okay to go on living, to move on even though so many where no longer with us.
And now, four years later, after so much has happened, through all the tears, all the smiles, all the laughter and all the memories, good and bad, I'm sitting here, alone, at a candle lit table, dinner that I worked so hard on gone cold as I wait for you… on our four year anniversary.
There's a whole lotta things that I will forgive
But I just can't take a liar
I was by your side 'til the very end
'Til you pushed me in the fire
It's late when I finally hear the lock on the door click. I jump up from my spot at the table where I'd been sitting for the past five hours, waiting. The dinner is still on the table, stone cold now, and the candles that I had lit with such excitement had burned down to nothing some three hours ago, leaving the dining room in total darkness. I hadn't bothered to get up to turn the lights on. I look at my watch. 11 o'clock.
I hear you moving in the hall now, taking your shoes off, hanging your cloak. And then the room is flooded with light as you make your way into the dining room and flick the light switch on, blinding me.
"Where you been?" You jump at my voice, startled.
"Draco! You scared me! I thought you'd be in bed by now, what are you still doing up? It's late." You say, looking flustered.
"Yeah it is. Where were you?" I ask again.
"Oh, uh… I got held up at the office." You won't look at me as you answer, eyes focused downward as you begin to fumble with your tie.
"Oh, I see. Held up at the office." I stand up, and begin to move towards you. "Must have been something pretty important." I stop in front of you and look up into your green eyes. Or I try to, you still won't look at me.
"Ah, yeah. Important." You finally get the knot in your tie undone and pull it off. "Why d'you ask? And why are you still up?" Now you're unbuttoning your shirt, still refusing to meet my eyes. I can feel the anger bubbling up inside me, mixed with the hurt, and wishing you would at least look at me.
"You missed our anniversary, Harry."
I tried to believe you but something is wrong
You won't look in my eyes, tell me what's going on
That causes your head to snap up, your eyes wide, your mouth open as realization sweeps across your face and you spot the food on the table behind me, the candles burnt down to stubs of wax.
"Oh God… Draco… Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" You look horrified. I'm fighting the tears back now as I look at you, the man who's had my heart since I first met him eight years ago.
"Where. Were you?" I ask again, a tear slipping down my cheek. You look away again.
"I told you, I got held back at the office." You mumble.
"Don't lie to me!" I scream causing you to jump. The tears are flowing freely down my cheeks now, and I can feel my heart snapping in half.
"I'm not lying, Draco, I was-"
"I called the office, Harry! Kingsley said you left at four! And this isn't the first time this has happened either! You've been coming home late almost every day!" My voice is steadily getting louder now. "WHERE WERE YOU!"
You wince at my raised tone.
"Draco," You move closer to me and reach out as if to pull me into your arms, but I move out of your reach.
"Harry… what's that smell?" I ask and look up at you, confused at the flowery scent that assaulted my nose as you moved closer. The same flowery scent I've been smelling on your clothes for a while now.
"What smell? What are you talking about?" But I can see it in your eyes. Fear. Nervousness. …Guilt.
"Listen, I'm tired, I'm going to bed." You turn to head upstairs, but I step in front of you, blocking your way.
"You're not going anywhere until I get an answer! Now, I'm going to ask you again, Harry. Where were you?"
Now the seconds turn into minutes now
But you won't give me an answer
You can tell me this, you can tell me that
But don't say you don't remember
"I was-" I can see your brain working, the gears turning, trying to come up with something, anything. But I don't need an answer, because I just saw it. A smudge of lipstick on your collar, and clinging to your white shirt, a long thin strand of flaming red hair.
'Cause I know you better than you know yourself
So don't say I'm crazy, I know very well
"Oh my God…" I whisper, and I reach out and pull the strand of hair from your shirt. Then it all clicks.
All the nights you were "working" late, the flowery smell that I've been smelling on you lately, the letters that you would receive in the mornings and take to the living room to read, the way you've been so distant with me, all the secrecy, and now, the lipstick, and this thin red strand of hair.
"Draco-" You begin, but I hold up a shaking hand to stop you. I can hardly believe I didn't realize it before.
"You were with her, weren't you?" I whisper as I look into your green eyes, eyes that I had fallen in love with when I first gazed into them eight years ago. Eyes that used to look at me with such love, now filled with guilt.
"Draco, no, I-"
"Please don't lie to me, Harry." My voice comes out as a whisper. I should be screaming, I should be throwing things, yell at him, curse him, but all I can manage is a whisper. Because really, I think I knew all along.
"If you ever even loved me at all, Harry, tell me right now. Where were you?"
It's you and me against the world
That's what you said, that's what you said
If you can't be honest with me
Then I'm afraid this is the end
Hurry up, hurry up
If you ever really cared about me
Tell the truth, give it up
You sound guilty 'cause you're stuttering
"Draco, I…" I stare at you, pleading with you, to just be honest with me.
"No more lies Harry. Please, no more lies." You hold my gaze for a moment, before you sigh in defeat.
"I was with Ginny." It comes out in barely more than a whisper. You drop your eyes to the floor. At least you have the decency to look ashamed. "I'm so sor-"
"NO. Don't you DARE tell me you're sorry, Harry! Don't you DARE!" I can feel it now. The anger, the hurt, the betrayal, raging through me, clawing at my insides, burning a hole deep in my chest.
I-I-I don't, don't wanna hear you're sorry now
The best thing you can do for me is just spit it out
I-I-I don't, don't wanna hear you're sorry now
Stop, stop stuttering your words, it's only making you look worse
"Draco-"
"Get out."
"What?" You look at me like you can't believe what I just said.
"I said, GET OUT!" And that's when I snap. I grab the vase of flowers off the stand next to me and hurl it at you with all my strength. But you duck out of the way just in time and the vase hits the wall behind you, shattering.
"Draco, listen to me-" You try , raising your hands.
"OUT!" I screech and this time it's a lamp that hits the wall, as you break for the door. I stand there as the door slams shut behind you, panting for a moment, my vision red, tears falling from my eyes, and all I can do is let out a kind of strangled moan of anguish before the anger begins to seep out of me, and in its place all I can feel is an empty hollowness. Then I sink to my knees on the floor and begin to weep, as four years of love, promises and friendship shattered like a million shards of glass, right in front of me.
Hurry up, hurry up
If you ever really cared about me
Tell the truth, give it up
You sound guilty 'cause you're stuttering
A/N: I'd love to hear what you all think, and the big question… One shot, or should there be another chapter? :o Up to you folks!