I made up my mind that I would hold onto nothing, that I would expect nothing.

Henry Miller

"Are you shitting me?" His hands fisted until his knuckles turned snow white. "Alec!" He pushed his half brother roughly who was trying his best to act like he didn't know him. They were pacing quickly through the court's hall, Jace's feet heavily stomping against the marble ground.

"Try not to call me when you're in trouble. You keep wasting my time." The obsidian haired man finally turned, his blue eyes piercing him like sharp daggers. His words echoed from where they stood. It was an early Saturday afternoon and Jace had a court order due demanding three hundred hours of community service in areas that needed help with development. This wasn't the first time he received a ticket for speeding and driving under influence, but it was the first time the judge had requested for a family member's presence.

"I didn't have a choice. I wouldn't have called you otherwise. What? Too busy riding Magnus to notice your brother?" That was the final straw. Alec brought his fist upwards and before Jace could think to even move, a punch was launched to his nose. He grunted and stumbled back, grinning when he felt the red substance spilling from his nostrils. His hand was bloody, wet and warm. He stared at it for a few seconds then glanced to his older brother.

His fist was uncurled now and his face displayed an expression of pure disbelief as if he couldn't recount what he had just done. "I...Jace, I didn't mean-"

"Fucking hell you didn't. Do me a favor and leave. I wish I had never called you." Jace whirled the opposite way around and with his palm covering his nose, he left. Funny thing was, this was their first reunion since they were thirteen. Too bad it didn't go exactly as planned.

xx

"You sure you're alright?" Sebastian tilted his head to the side, studying his friend with such intensity he had to turn away. They were in their apartment, a cruddy place spotted with beer bottles and food wrappers. Jace sat at the edge of the brown, worn out couch, his hooded eyes glancing at the television set every few seconds. "You're still going? To the park tomorrow?"

He tugged a cigarette from the tiny box lying on the table and stuck it in between his lips. The smoke appeared in the air surrounding his face then disapparated just as swiftly as it had come. Jace sighed and rose to his feet not wanting the landlord to smell the odor of tobacco in their room. Before he swung the door shut, he explained to Sebastian, "I have to go. I'm comin' late tonight, don't wait up."

Once the young man had left, his companion's eyebrows knit in worry. He peered at the napkin topping the trash can, covered in red spots and splatters of blood.

xx

The music was pounding in his ears, a melody of loud thumps and electrifying smacks of live drum sticks floating atop solid drum pads. He asked for another drink and a glass slid over to him from the counter for probably the tenth time that night. He downed it, swallowing the sour, burning liquid and feeling it travel in his throat. A girl blinked her fake eyelashes at him and instead of getting disgusted at the action, he welcomed it. Jace wrapped his arms slowly around her waist, his vision blurry from the onset of alcohol.

Before he was aware of it, she had dragged him into a dark corner in the lit club. Her hands were pressed to his chest and she scrambled to pull his shirt off. He moaned when her lips pounced on his. The girl's breasts were heaving and she was trying to taunt him playfully while pleasuring him. Bits and pieces of conversations entered his ears and the sound of bad love lyrics flooded his brain like poison. His head felt like there was a clock ticking inside of it. He became dizzy, instantly letting go of the human feeling in front of him, his body solidly colliding to the floor.

xx

Sebastian snapped the car door shut and thanked the angry bartender who intended never to allow Jace to enter his club again. Sighing for the millionth time in exhaustion, he ignited the engine and watched as his friend blinked and rolled to his side on the passenger's seat. Taking off his thin coat, he threw it onto the bare chest of Jace who didn't seem to care about the cold night. "I don't get you, man. If you just told me about things..." He shook his head, running a hand through his blonde curls.

Jace slumped forward, groaning, his arm clutched around his stomach as if it ached. It probably did. That much beer would kill him in the morning. Sebastian quickly snatched a plastic bag from the back and launched it to him. "Let it out. I'll clean the mess tomorrow." Jace spat into the bag and noticed blood on the surface. He wiped his mouth and released a shaking breath. He tilted his head back and squeezed his eyes shut.

"I'd tell you-things.." He faltered. "If you gave a shit." And Jace couldn't tell what Sebastian's response was because everything around him was beginning to darken and spin. His hands twitched and his abdomen felt like it was going to explode. His grip on the bag loosened and the glistening night ahead of him swallowed him whole.

xx

Jace knew how he would wake up the next morning but he had set an alarm before going out the night before. Groggily, he stumbled to the bathroom, careful not to wake Sebastian. Bright lights spotted his vision and he tightly grasped the walls of the apartment as he passed. He washed his face and swallowed some 800 mg pain killers for his throbbing headache. Sebastian was still slumbering, his face tucked in his pillow, blanket thrown to the far side of his bed. Jace pulled out a sticky note and wrote down a quick reminder to his friend, leaving it on his cabinet top.

Clenching his fists lightly, Jace grabbed his keys and left. Unlike others, he remembered what went on when he was drunk. For some odd reason, he did. He recalled dancing and touching a girl and the sad expression Sebastian had when he had to pick him up. He shook the feeling of the memory and drove into the parking lot of the community grounds. It was a large park. Trees infiltrated the area and nearly covered the sight of the clouds. He thought of the countless times Maryse had taken him and his siblings there. They way the sun always tilted towards them, like it favored them over everyone else.

An office was set up near the parking lot and Jace entered the small room. Inside was an old woman, bent and wrinkled. She was sorting through papers, gray strings of hair falling across her brows. He waited but she didn't notice him at first. Then she glanced upwards when her pencil had fallen to the ground and met his gaze. She smiled and it was the kind of smile that made you feel warm inside. Jace nodded his head towards her. "I'm here for community service." He handed her the court order and the sheets of hours he needed along with her signatures.

She hummed in response. "Alright, my boy. You have a lot to cover if you need three hundred hours so let's get started." She drew some sort of metal scraper from a drawer in her desk and handed it to him as well as a black bag. "Young people like you should know how gum ends up under benches, you know, " she uttered teasingly and Jace took the materials silently. Maybe in the past he would have argued and complained but now it seemed like nothing was really worth the extra fighting. He left the office and sauntered to the playgrounds.

Dogs flew across the hills and Jace caught glimpses of children swinging and sliding down small tunnels. Since the area was so large, he needed to work efficiently. Benches were sprawled everywhere you could possibly think of. There was more than just gum covering the bottoms of the structures. He found dead bugs, spider webs, and dried candy. The sun was beating down on his body and grass stung his feet. Despite it all, he felt better when no one was around. No one was watching him or ordering him around. It felt utterly unexplainable.

Before he knew it, he was almost done and over with work day one of community service. He did take breaks and the old lady gave him some snacks to keep him going. The sky began to dim as evening took over the late afternoon. He bent over the last bench where a woman sat. He paid her no mind and began pushing the scraper down the dirty surface of the bench. Jace wiped his face with the back of his hand and leaned his head against the seat of the bench at the corner opposite the pedestrian. He stared at the muddled ground and stayed in that position for longer than he wanted. The palms of his hands were dirty and sticky. He sat up again and felt something against his hair for just a second before it disappeared. "Is someone there?"

It was a feminine voice, delicate and soft and confused. He focused on her face. With braided red locks just below her shoulders and a face dotted with orange freckles. A book was placed on her lap and her fingers were tapping against the white pages. Some sort of case was beside her, black and extended. She didn't notice his presence. Her lips were pursed thoughtfully, waiting for any kind of response. "Must be me..." She whispered softly, shaking her head.

He knit his eyebrows. He was right in front of her. At the corner of the bench. Was she just ignoring him? Jace huffed a breath and scraped the last pieces of gunk from the seat. He tugged out his phone and checked the time. It was nearing night. He rose to his feet and accidentally bumped into someone. He looked just in time to see the girl rubbing her forehead. Same one from before. "Sorry." He mumbled and pulled the black bag with him towards the parking lot.

"Excuse me?"

He turned expecting a smart alec response but she wasn't exactly looking in his direction. Her arm was outstretched in a way as if she was trying to touch something. "Did you happen to see the stick that was right here? Underneath the bench?" It hit him then. She was blind. He sucked in a breath and found the cane lying about near the trash can on the grass. Jace picked it up and came closer just in case she couldn't tell where he was. He handed it to her and a grin spread across her lips. "Thank you so much. I thought I would have to call my brother to get me and I hate doing that." Her tone was playful and relieved.

"Yea." Jace said lamely, wanting to leave as soon as humanly possible. He watched as she tapped the stick along the ground expertly, weaving her path through the park. She didn't say goodbye or anything. She was small, wearing cartoon overalls he didn't recognize and flip flops that produced slapping noises as she walked. He turned the opposite direction to the old woman's office and stared at the how the stars seemed to align with one another, forming infinite constellations.

[So this is a new story I'm working. Give me your opinions please so that I can continue writing it.]