Propriety Settled

By

Maritza Franklin

September 20, 2009

Disclaimer: I do not own the Characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman.

The lady doctor stood fuming in her clinic. Once again, the object of her affections stormed off in the middle of their discussion, this time over his suspicious involvement with Dorothy, of which he accused her of being jealous over, of all things. At least she felt it to be civilized their so called discussion, yet she was certain he just couldn't bear that she might be right. She rolled her eyes with a sigh, then abruptly turned away and busied herself the rest of her day plunging into the sanctuary of her work she so relied on when things were less than pleasant. She began to feel better already.

Later, when all was done—file put away, supplies in order, the beds made and floors mopped and swept, the image of Sully's accusatory smirk mocked her No, she was not jealous as he so readily accused her of, but she had every right to be angry with him. How dare he come there all innocent as though he could fool her? She was not stupid, but a fool she realized she felt for having believed in him and in her closest friend Dorothy. Her heart sagged once again reliving the hurt and betrayal. What should she do? Put a halt to their courtship? She's heard of folks courting more than one person at a time, and even Dorothy herself practiced it between Jake and Loren—but that wasn't for her, because in her heart, she wasn't interested in anyone else but Sully, and she honestly thought she was the only one he had eyes for. If he wanted to court more than one woman at a time, then she wanted no part in it. She was better off alone.

Had her eyes deceived her?—but, she saw him going into that mercantile all sneakily during a time it was supposed to have been closed and Loren wasn't even there. What was she supposed to think? Shame began to seep in, realizing, perhaps she was jumping into conclusion like some hysterical female she reluctantly admitted was likely being. She hated that Sully saw right through her.

Alright, she should hear them out all calm and collect, and decide then the outcome of their relationship. She has never gone through this experience in courting David—or had she been blind then too, keeping busy with her profession and failing to see what was truly going on behind her back? No, a fool she shall not be, recalling how her sister Marjorie had been taken for a fool by her husband's infidelity. Her stomached churned at the thought. Was this an indication to Sully's true character into his future behavior? Distress and confusion now claimed her—but it couldn't be, she was letting her imagination get the best of her.

Into the woods, the brooding man marched on as usual after a tense moment with the woman he so whole heartily loved wondering if he should bother coming back to civilization if they were going to keep arguing. Often, kicking stones and thrashing branches along the way to let out his frustration, he'd slowly get mad at himself, realizing she was right—as usual.

Ugh! She was so infuriating at times and today was one of those times. But, he loved her. How dare she accuse him of having a thing with Dorothy of all people? Didn't she trust him? Didn't she love him? He paused, letting out a slow ragged breath. Then that smirk crept up to him as he had called it back at the clinic, recalling how jealous she was. Sully couldn't help, but to laugh recalling how her engrossing mixed matched irises got greener as she fumed making her all the more beautiful and enthralling, thus giving a whole new meaning to the green eye monster if she were a lovely female in love.

The poor thing, he didn't blame her. He didn't mean for her to get the wrong idea, but it was all for a good cause, a surprise for her he looked forward to revealing to her at the dance. No, it wasn't his thing, but he cherished her and was willing to forgo his discomfiture to please her knowing just how much she truly enjoyed dancing. The least he could do was to honor her with the gift of dancing with her and show her he can keep up with her just as the rest of them.

He stood there recalling pleasantly how he fondly twirled her in his arm for a simple dance in Boston. Only, there were going to be more than a couple of steps at the sweetheart dance and Michaela trying to teach him was not working out, because all he wanted to do was hold and kiss her for all eternity now that they were officially courting. Unable to help himself when he was around her with touching a part of her—her hair, her hands, her lips; Sully hoped someday soon to make her his bride—he just couldn't get enough of her. He realized dancing would enable him to be close to being intimate with her without making her uncomfortable of which he was surprisingly looking forward to, just to be able to hold her even if they did nothing.

Despite finally having declared their love for one another and being able to kiss her, Michaela kept shying away from his innocent advances. Okay, he tended to get a little touchy of which he planned to remedy by slowing down. He didn't want to scare her away. Realizing that he may be pushing her with more than she can handle too soon was making him feel like a cad. It confused him he admitted, but he respected her and will honor her wishes though it wasn't going to be easy. Obviously, she was still getting use to their new relationship, while he in turn was eager to lavish her with all of his love, but patience he will give her as she was worth the wait. He just had to get use to lots of cold dips in the stream, wondering how David handled it. Well, he managed before during their friendship period, only it was more difficult now that they were courting.

Michaela despite feeling confused with Sully's behavior, tried to dismiss the whole situation realizing, she may be overreacting—but why would Sully visit Dorothy so secretively? It was evident that she really needed to confront him about it, before it became an eyesore in their relationship, but she didn't know just how without getting him all upset and walking out on her as he often did whenever he couldn't handle their discussions—okay, arguments. Oh, how she loved that man and needed to figure out how to approach him with this delicate subject. She prayed hoping against all odd it was all a simple misunderstanding, but her heart was crying and she was having a hard time bearing it once she closed up her clinic for the day.

Finally making it home, she did her best mustering a smile before the children, but of course, they noticed her subtle sullenness, yet left her alone for the time being, keeping an eye on her. Sully still hadn't come by as usual for supper, and Michaela began to wondered if he was ever passing by now that dinner was over. She needed to speak to him, set things straight, and reevaluate their relationship, especially about what they expected from each other regarding courting rituals. Perhaps he had a more open perspective about it since they weren't exactly engaged and having been raised differently. Things were certainly different out west then in Boston with what was acceptable decorum in courting. Can she handle the difference, all that touching and kissing? Can she handle sharing him with courting another woman in his life, hoping he will eventually pick her in the end? She thought she was the only one he was interested in. Was she just being too much of a prude or possessive when he hasn't even ask her to marry her? Asking too much of him? He did value his freedom, to do, and come and go as he pleased.

Sully sat on the homestead's porch twiddling with a piece of wood wondering if he was welcome to join the family as he has always done. Michaela and he hadn't exactly parted pleasantly earlier today. He overreacted to her suspicion he realized, thinking back to how things with him and Dorothy may have appeared to Michaela. Okay, perhaps she had the right to be a little upset, with not knowing what was going on, but to accuse him of being unfaithful was just too much. That was what she was hinting at, right? Besides, they weren't even married.

The more he thought about it, the more it bothered him again that she had no faith in him. Finally, he got up leaving the unfinished carving aside on the floor board, pocketed the knife and left. He'll see her tomorrow to take her to the dance. Let her wonder a little longer about his so called indiscretion. She ought to have known better that she was the only one to occupy his heart—yes; she should have had faith in him. What else must he do to show her how utterly devoted he is of her, exclusively?

The children volunteered cleaning up after dinner, and after a while struggling with what was really going on with Sully and her best friend Dorothy, Michaela decided she needed to take a brief walk to clear her mind from the unsettling thoughts that just wouldn't leave her side. Once outside the door, she stepped on something near the porch and bent to retrieve the partially carved piece of wood.

"Sully," she whispered out, emotions threatening to spill, clutching onto what was obviously a bird of sort, perhaps a dove as a sign of peace offering, but why didn't he finished it and why just leave it abandoned on the porch? He did come. She immediately ran down the steps calling out his name hoping he wasn't too far gone continuing onto the path he normally headed for the night.

"Sully!" she called out again this time more pronounced as she held onto his carving.

He stopped short of his walk, and turned to find her breathless catching up to him.

"Why didn't you come in?"

His eyes looked all around her, but not at her before landing on his carving, she held over her heart.

"I don't know. I just figured you really wasn't up to my company tonight." The real reason was that he was still hurt she hadn't trusted him.

"I never said you weren't welcome."

"Oh…" He stood there running a hand over his carving in her hand searching for words, but really dying to touch her. "But aren't you mad at me for believing in something that ain't true?"

"I don't know."

Dropping his hand now out of frustration, "Michaela, I'm really disappointed that you have so little faith in me."

"I'm sorry; I really don't know what to believe."

"What is there to believe?—but in us." He finally grabbed hold of her hands, "You know I only have eyes for you and my heart already belongs to you. What more do you want?"

To be completely his for all eternity with God's blessing. Michaela looked up with all the love she wanted to pour out to him, desperate to believe in him. "Sully, you've been acting suspiciously. What was I suppose to think?"

He sighed loudly, "You were supposed to think that there was nothing going on between Dorothy and I. That it was all your imagination. In time you would have known everything."

"So…what is going on?"

Sully looked at her, deciding to keep her in suspense. "You'll just have to wait to find out," and abruptly took the unfinished dove out of her hand.

"Sully," she cried out exasperatedly," but all he did was to turn and proceed on with his walk back to his lean-to, leaving Michaela opened mouth and confused as always. She headed back home disappointedly, but mostly frustrated with herself. He was right, she apparently had little faith in him, but if there was nothing, why was he so upset with her? Was it guilt, because he was caught? Tomorrow was the dance. She didn't have to dance with him if he decided to ask her. He can have all of his precious dances with Dorothy since he obviously was so fond of her and maybe he can clumsily step on her foot. Well, maybe not too hard, otherwise she would have to deal with bandaging it for her and having to watch him be so concern for the injured woman. Then shame descended upon her realizing how ill Dorothy had been.

No, jealousy was certainly not a pretty trait. The urge to get down on her knees, like when she was a child professing her sinful thoughts, praying and begging for forgiveness, overwhelmed her. At times like these, she'd missed her father, her ally most of her life. Father would have given her a sound advice, putting her straight.

Sully reached his lean-to sporting a grin. Let her fret over her lack of trust in him. Tomorrow he will surprise her and make her realize how foolish she was for having such little faith in him. He didn't blame her though, the more he thought about it—his sneaking about was rather questionable to anyone looking on. He'll soon put her out of her misery, and he was certain she will forget how upset she was of him when she got a load of his new fancy feet skill. He pulled out his pocket knife and placidly went to finish the dove carving he started for Michaela.

It was the night of the dance, and Michaela fretted about going to it. Will Sully be there? He didn't say anything last night about still taking her, thus she assumed he wasn't coming for her with the way he just stormed away from her last night practically snatching that wood carving out her hands. The nerve of him, he can be so arrogant at times. Her heart plummeted again not wanting to go any longer. Was he finally withdrawing away from her? Perhaps he was having second thoughts continuing their courtship with how different they truly were especially in not fully returning his affections as he obviously craved for. She couldn't help it; she had to set limits with him, didn't she? What was she thinking that they could actually have a romantic relationship? How could they ever go back to just being friends? But she didn't want to do that. Has he always been all hands before, but was just blind to have seen his subtleties?

Michaela's mind flutter through various times he's touched her innocently, well except for his first time his hands touched her, and rather intimately lifting her onto her recently purchased horse Bear, by her rear end. Though she was shocked, she let it dropped, being caught off guard by the handsome stranger who frighten her with his intense blue eyes at the mercantile than the actual tomahawk being tossed mare inches across her face. Who would have thought, they would actually wind up being a couple with how different as night and day they were.

Then her thoughts wondered off to their first real kiss, the best birthday gift she has ever received—it was simply magical. Their second kiss was pure and simple after she came home from Boston, and running into his waiting arms—it was pure joy and a relief at last, admitting their love.

And then there was their third kiss—well, that colored her face recalling the heat rising within when they were finally alone from her trip, and he surprised her with her first real taste of man. Not just any man, but Sully, and it was those foreign feelings he produced in her she just didn't know how to handle whenever they were alone since their declaration, like when she was teaching him to dance and suddenly he got all hands and wanting to kiss. David was never like that with her nor had he ever kissed her so thorough, but then again, they were never truly alone, and following Boston rules didn't permit for much.

At the end, she finally found the determination to go anyway to that dance and willing herself to enjoy it, not wanting to give into self pity. Not everyone going will have a sweetheart. Some go to meet folks or just to socialize and gossip or just to watch new couples come together. She will just dance with each of her children, and maybe with one or two unattached gentlemen—and if Sully happened to be there watching, so be it. She hurried with dressing into her pale blue dress, and decided to get there early to help set up, not wanting to wait around for Sully failing in showing up to take her.

Sully found the homestead deserted when he came to call upon Michaela. He couldn't believe she up and left him behind. Did she really go on her own to the dance, unescorted? That badly she wanted to go to the dance. Maybe she wanted to dance with other fellers aside from him, yeah, maybe make him jealous as well. Would she play that kind of game? He really didn't have time for that nonsense. Was she really that upset with him? He was beginning to worry. It wasn't his intention to hurt her feelings. He just wanted to surprise her.

Turning on his heal, he went to fetch his suit stored in the barn, the one he purchased in Boston to impress her before declaring his love to her on that train, then washed and dressed himself, and immediately headed towards the dance. No unattached man was going to dance with her if he can help it. Though he was uncomfortable wearing the suit, he put it on just for her, yet desperate to take it off as he looked at himself in the mirror; then he imagined her fasten to his arm causing him to proudly smile, knowing she loved him. All he wanted right now was to make sure things were right between them. He definitely needed to work further along about securing her to someday be his wife. That's how strong he felt about her, but what about her, was she ready for such a commitment? Was he?

Michaela stood dreamily looking on at all the couples dancing, wishing Sully was there dancing with her among them. She started to think that that side of him she saw in Boston was short lived, that he was just humoring her to win her affections and that he would never again dance with her again. She knew Sully wasn't the sort of man to live by everyone's standard except for living honorably. Only, she had hope he would at least appease her once in a while with putting on a suit, maybe take her to Denver for a show, but right now, she didn't care if he was covered in mud, she just wanted to be in his arms twirling to the wonderful country music being played, so different to what she was use to in Boston, yet it sounded wonderful. She looked all around for him at the Dance floor, hope further diminishing while trying so hard to appear as pleasant as possible—her heart continuing to ache as she politely rejected suitors after suitors. She did allow herself to dance with the oldest gentlemen there though—Loren, as well as each of her children, but that was it. Her heart was just not into the dance without Sully by her side. This would have been their first dance as a couple and he wasn't there.

Can she handle him courting a second woman at the same time? Did that mean he loved the other woman? Was it an indication that Sully just wanted to play the field and not really interested in a committed relationship, not fully willing to give out his heart? Did he just want to use her, bed her perhaps? Okay, so he did love her, but since she was too prudish, he apparently was turning to another woman for physical affections. The thoughts twirled and twirled in her head, yet hope still lingered through her heart as she continued to look on at the dancing couples.

Suddenly, a hand appeared on her shoulder, startling her for a moment. Turning to see a handsomely dressed Sully, all doubts left her, replacing it with uttered joy. He really did love her showing up here all dressed just for her. Whatever the reasons for his sneaking about, she was certain now he has always been faithful and didn't care to hear any explanation.

Sully brought her to the dance floor, joining the other couples in joyously dancing a real. Her heart soared and she wanted more than just to dance with him. She wanted to be in his sturdy arms, feel his heartbeat thump against hers, and thoroughly taste him as well. The thought of it made her flushed as she confessed to him how foolish she had been with her jealousy. Sully too, admitted his sneakiness, pointing to Dorothy, with how he had a little help from a friend with learning how to dance just for her. Relief washed over her and he as well that they were still a couple. Yes, courting Sully was certainly different from courting David; it was more intense and rather adventurous. Sully thought the same thing about Michaela and he looked on so enamored at her enchanting beauty this evening dancing in his loving arms.

They kissed sweetly as they continued to dance so blissfully. When the number was over, Sully escorted her a little further away from prying ears as they enjoyed listening to a soothing number—magic being created in the air.

"Michaela, we need to talk."

"Yes, we do," she said shyly still holding his hand, and finally looking up at him.

"Don't…you…like…my kisses?"

"Of course I do."

"Then what is it?" He pleaded desperately with puzzling eyes.

Suddenly, she went all quiet gazing all around but at him. Sully placed a caressing hand on her face, holding her attention, "Didn't you and David…kiss?"

"Yes, we did…but…well…they were chaste and he and I were rarely alone," she whispered the last words.

Suddenly Sully understood completely. Well, it was obvious beforehand she hadn't been completely with a man, when they were just friends. She truly was pure in every which way, innocent to a man's simple touch—now he understood her behavior at times, and as to why she never wanted to go further with him with simply holding and kissing. He hadn't figured on her being so pure as to never truly being thoroughly kissed. In fact, he thought it had to do with his appearance, perhaps with not being clean enough. A part of him rejoiced at the thought, that he may someday be her first and only one—he hoped. He sighed; wanting to take her into his arm and reassure her she had nothing to fear.

"Michaela, you gotta know I would never do anything to make you uncomfortable. I'm sorry if I had. I guess I was just a little eager. I'm just so happy we're together. Forgive me?"

"Yes," she watched him eased some.

"So, is touching you like this okay?" He caressed further her delicate face, with tantalizing warm fingers hoping it wasn't too much for her. She just stared hungrily at him before closing her eyes as though anticipating the mounting pleasures, goose bumps racing up her arms as her belly knotted.

"And kissing you like this?" As he held her face, he dove in at last for the gentlest of kisses, yet so full of passion that it moved her giving into a couple of stray tears.

He pulled back smiling at her, and then concernedly thumbing the droplets, "Hey what's this?"

"Nothing, I'm just so happy," and she leaned into him for a much needed embrace he gladly gave her. All sort of feelings overwhelmed her, things she often denied whenever in his presence. She felt curiously excited—shame threatening to ruin the moment. She shouldn't be this close to his proximity feeling so much of him. What was she doing?

"You obviously weren't the past few days. I'm real sorry for that. I honestly didn't realize how things would appear to you." He kissed the top of her head, then the side of her face, rocking her gently.

"I'm sorry; I'm not use to this." The stirring, the yearning, the feel of him was just too much for her.

"What being held, being loved? I've held you before."

"I know, just never like this." She turned away from him, wrapping her arms around herself after swiping at her face. He came right behind her, engulfing her in his strong embrace, but she resisted, too confused with how her body was reacting.

"Michaela, help me here. I'm in the dark here. Are you afraid of me?"

"No!" She spun around to face him, not certain how to tell him. "It's just...when you held me just now…I…I felt…things…within me." She then suddenly walked a few paces away, still holding herself from the mix feeling of shame, awe, and uncertainties.

Sully smiled knowingly, proudly realizing how much he was affecting her. It pleased him alright, but right now, he wanted her to feel good about herself and not shame, of which he vowed to help her overcome in the hopes to marry her someday soon and together enjoy that part of marital bliss without shame and hang ups. He walked over grabbing her hands, then eyeing her, he kissed them. "It's alright to have them feelings. You ought to know it's quite natural. It's what you do with them that matters."

"That's just it…I don't know what to do with them," shame continuing overcoming her as she turned her head away. "This is awkward," she whispered out, realizing, they shouldn't be discussing this.

He turned her head back to him. "It's alright. I like that you're having them yearnings. There's no shame in what you're feeling."

"We shouldn't be talking about this."

"Why, cause we ain't married? I think it's healthy for us to talk about them feelings, so we understand each other and have no miscommunication." She continued to look hesitant. "Don't worry, we'll take it a step at a time. I would never pressure you."

"You're so use to so much more, Sully."

"You're important to me, Michaela. I can wait."

"What if I never get use to it."

"You will."

"How do you know?"

"Cause you have a lot of passion buried in ya dying to come out," and then he sensed the skin on her face flushed.

"Sullyyyy…!" she gasped loudly as though someone was eased dropping in on them.

He laughed lightly. "Michaela, I'm going to be honest," suddenly, his voice turned raspy so full of unabashed longing, "Yes, I'll admit, I wanna go further with you, but rest assure, I won't go ravishing you." And feeling rather playful, he couldn't help but to add, "Just yet." He felt her body trembled. "But I will gladly settle for just holding your hand and taste some of your sweet kisses. That's all I ask for till you're ready."

Ready? Doesn't he want to get married? She didn't want to just give herself to a man so freely. She wanted to be properly wedded despite being known to defy conventions. Worried etched her countenance loud and clear. She began to pull away from him.

"Just hear me out," as he made to keep her still. "No, I don't care if there is a piece of paper giving us the okay, we love each other and that's what counts, but don't worry; you'll have what every woman dream of, and don't you dare try to deny it. Just give me time, alright?"

So, he did want to marry her someday. Yes, she will wait for him, as long as he needed.

She didn't care if he was old and ratty, she will wait so long as he loved her. Not knowing what else to say, she simply fell back into his arms relieved, allowing his strength and love to seep into her for a while.

"Alright," she simply voiced as her eyes once again joyously moistened. Perhaps he didn't officially proposed, but she felt she was already engaged to him and no one can interfere in their relationship. She was his and he was hers.

"You trust me?"

She shook her head in the affirmative.

"Good, come on," he said gently kissing her face, than her lips as though for all eternity. "Let's get back to the dance. I think you might need a little cooling off with a drink first."

Michaela smiled embarrassedly, but let Sully take her hand, leading her back to the dance. She felt confident in continuing embarking in her new adventure with Sully, that of loving him more and more each day, knowing he will honor her wishes and that his heart only belonged to her. Just before resuming the crowd, and overcoming with emotions, Michaela stopped short in front of Sully, puzzling him and hesitantly eyed him with a gleam in her eyes. Suddenly without any warning, and pleasantly catching him off guard, the usually skittish woman tiptoed giving him the most passionate of kisses ever, fully tasting him briefly. Her hands dug into his scalp as though fearful to severed their mouths, but it was enough for Sully, vowing to wait for her affections as long as she needed to and for him to work up the courage in asking for her hand in marriage as soon as possible. Sully smiled broadly at her delightful surprise to him. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out his small token of love and appreciation for her, as well as being a sort of a peace offering, the dove carving he had been working on.

"Oh, Sully, it's beautiful."

"Yeah," eyeing her adoringly. "I couldn't agree more."

"Thank you," she modestly expressed. "I love you."

"I love you too," and kissed her back meaningfully. "I will never tire saying that to you nor will I tire kissing ya."

"Neither will I."

Together, arm and arm they resumed their dancing, Sully surprising her further with all that he has learned from their friend Dorothy in a short amount time.

The End...

Thanks for taking the time to read and for any respectful comments you can give.