A/N
Hi there! This is my first Doctor Who fanfiction, and to be honest, I don't really know how it turned out :b
- Anyway!
I know the Oods were unconscious and stuff when they fled to the rocket, but I was hoping you could turn a blind eye on that :-)
I hope you enjoy the story! :-D
The Lost and The Lonely
"Doctor, are you there? Doctor, Ida, can you hear me? Are you there Doctor?" Rose cried into the microphone, desperate to hear if the Doctor was alright down in point zero. She heard a breath in the other end, and couldn't help but let hope rise in her chest.
"He's gone". The small sentence coming from Ida's voice made Rose's heart drop.
"What do you mean, he's gone?" she asked in a tiny voice, hoping with all her heart, that this was a joke, a horrible joke, the Doctor had set up.
"He fell into the pit. And I don't know how deep it is. Miles and miles and miles". Rose tried to force the tears back, not wanting to believe it.
"But what do you mean, he fell?"
"I couldn't stop him. He said your name" Ida tried to lift up her spirit, as she could clearly hear the heartbreak in Rose's voice. But nothing was helping at that point. The tears she had tried to hold back were threatening to spill. Faintly, she registered Zach taking the microphone and talking to Ida, but all she could think of was the Doctor.
He... He's gone? He jumped down willingly? He left me? But that means... He's all alone down in that pit. Alone. Again. I shouldn't have let him go down there!
Finally, she was pulled back to reality, seeing the others readying to leave. Releasing a breath, she decided.
"I'm not going" she stated, completely determined. This, however, made Zach turn around.
"Rose, there's space for you"
"No, I'm going to wait for the Doctor. Just like he waited for me". She tensed her jaw, trying to bite back the tears.
"I'm sorry, but he's dead". By that she flinched, but she had already decided.
"You don't know him. 'Cause he's not. I'm telling you, he's not. And even if he was, how could I leave him all on his own, all the way down there? No, I'm going to stay" her voice cracked, but her eyes were full of determination and stubbornness. Zach sighed, and Rose saw his eyes turn apologetic.
"Then I apologise for this. Danny, Toby? Make her secure". Just as he said so, the two men leapt forward to grab her, but Rose had foreseen it.
"Oh no you don't" she ducked, and ran backwards to stand in front of one of the doors, where the Oods were banging. She let her hand linger threateningly over the button to open the door. The men stepped forward to stop her, but she hurried to stop them by talking:
"One step closer and I open the door. Now go, or I will let the Ood in!" she said in a dangerously low tone. The men froze on the spot, understanding that she meant every word.
"Rose -" Zach tried, reaching a hand towards her. She flinched and nearly let her hand open the door, but when he saw, he drew back.
"Don't! Just- Just go!" she cried, the tears finally finding their way down her cheeks. Zach swallowed a lump, hating the way she forced him to leave her.
"I'm sorry" he said quietly, before gesturing for the two men to follow him into the rocket. He turned around one last time before going to the corridor that led to the rocket. Rose gave him a small reassuring smile, and he returned it. When they had gone, she sighed and slid down to the floor. She finally let the tears stream down her cheeks. They were not tears of grief, no she believed in the Doctor. She cried, because the Doctor was all alone. And she was alone. Despite knowing the connection was down, she grabbed the microphone and started talking.
"Are you there Doctor? I hope you are. The others are leaving, you know. But I'm still here. You're not alone, so don't worry. You don't have to be alone anymore. I'm here" she said, trying to let her voice sound strong. Even if he couldn't hear her, she found comfort in pretending he could.
...
In the pit, the Doctor woke and realised he was breathing.
"I'm breathing. Air cushion to support the fall. You can breathe down here, Ida. Can you hear me, Ida?"
...
In the rocket, Zach, Toby and Danny were readying to fly away from the planet. They didn't say anything, all having their own thoughts on what had happened and what was going to happen. At last, they lifted off.
...
The rocket engine was noisy. So noisy that Rose, Ida and even the Doctor could hear it. The Doctor looked up.
"A rocket" he said, relief sounding in his voice. At least Rose is safe.
...
"Do you hear that, Doctor? I'd like to believe you do. The others are on their way home. And we're here. But I'd rather be here with you, than out there. So don't feel guilty. I don't regret a thing. And I wouldn't have missed it for the world."
...
The Doctor inspected the pit and found several paintings on the walls. He talked into his wrist, trying to keep Ida company in her last minutes - if she could hear him. He finally took his gaze off of the paintings, and saw two identical urns. Touching one of them, light emerged in front of him, and a great beast was revealed. He talked to it, trying to figure everything out. He inwardly debated with himself what this creature could be, and how to stop it.
Finally realizing everything, he raised a rock to smash the urn, but then dropped it.
"But then you're clever enough to use this whole system against me. If I destroy this planet, I destroy the gravity field. The rocket. The rocket loses protection and falls into the black hole. I have to sacrifice Rose" the words dawned upon him as he spoke them. Rose. The only thing he had left, now that he had lost the Tardis. The only person he truly cared about. He would have to sacrifice her.
"So, that's the trap. Or the test, or the final judgement, I don't know. But if I kill you, I kill her. Except that implies in this big grand scheme of Gods and Devils that she's just a victim. But I've seen a lot of this universe. I've seen fake gods and bad gods and demi-gods and would-be gods, and out of all that, out of that whole pantheon, if I believe in one thing, just one thing - I believe in her" he said in a confident and proud voice, raising his arms once again, this time determined to ruin the urns.
"This is your freedom. Free to die. You're going into that black hole and I'm riding with you!"
...
The rocket shook. Zach explained that the gravity had collapsed and they were heading straight for the black hole. They saw the planet going towards the black hole. Mesmerised by the sight, they didn't notice Toby turning into the Devil until he yelled. In panic, Zach yelled to Danny to unfasten Toby's seatbelt. He shot the window and ducked, as Toby fell into space, closer and closer to the black hole. He engaged the emergency shield, though they were still not out of danger. Still, they were getting closer and closer to the black hole. Closer and closer to their death.
...
Rose felt the ground shaking, knowing this was the end.
"This is it then. I bet you stopped him, didn't you? You always do. Saving lives, even whole planets. It's your thing. And I'm just some human you picked up on the long run. So you wouldn't be alone. Now you're not. I can't thank you enough for bringing me. I've had the time of my life with you. I just didn't expect that it would end so soon. Can you hear me? If you can, please say something. So I can hear your voice. Just one last time. Please, Doctor". A single tear fell down her cheek. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine all the things they had been through together. His smile. His eyes. The way he ran his fingers through his hair, when he was frustrated or in deep thought. She smiled slightly.
"Thank you"
...
In the pit the Doctor fell backwards when the gravity field crumbled. He fell onto something hard, and turned to see what it was. Uttering a delightful cry, he caressed the blue wooden doors of the Tardis.
...
"I did my best. But hey! The first humans to fall inside a black hole. How about that? History." Zach said. The rocket shook violently, on its way towards the black hole. Then suddenly, it stopped.
"What happened?"
"We're turning. We're turning around. We're turning away!" Zach said disbelief and relief in his voice.
"Sorry about the hijack, Captain. This is the good ship Tardis". Zach smiled by the sound of the Doctor's voice. So he's alive. Though the relief was replaced with guilt as soon as the Doctor said his next words.
...
The Doctor smiled at the disbelief in the captains eyes. He was proud of himself and the Tardis that they had managed to find a way out of the creature's wrath. His smile still shining, he said his next words expecting to finally get his favourite person aboard.
"Now first thing's first. Have you got a Rose Tyler on board?"
...
"This is it" she closed her eyes.
...
The guilt showed clearly in Zach's face, and he didn't even bother to disguise it.
...
"I hope you can hear me" a tear escaped.
...
The Doctor's face fell. His hearts beat violently against his chest.
...
"I hope you're listening to my voice"
...
"Captain?" The Doctor's voice cracked.
...
"You're lucky, you know. Because I can't hear yours"
...
"Where. Is. Rose?" his voice was low and calm, even though on the inside he was being teared into pieces.
...
"Are you talking too? What are you saying?"
...
Zach shook his head.
"I'm sorry. We tried to force her, but she wouldn't listen. She wanted to be with you"
...
"Are you comforting me? Are you telling me, that everything's going to be alright?"
...
"She didn't want you to be alone"
...
"I believe you, Doctor. I believe in you."
...
The Doctor's face was hard, although he wanted to shout at them, scream that it was their fault for leaving her behind. But he knew it wasn't. He knew, that Rose would've done, what they said she'd done.
Taking a deep breath, he thought for a second of what to do. But it was obvious. So obvious. Of course he was going to save her.
"Where did you last see her?" He asked, too quickly for them to hear it.
"What?"
"Rose! Where did you leave her?" He shouted, too frustrated to hold back his anger.
"In the drilling area"
"Right, so she's close to the microphone" he mumbled to himself. He walked away from the screen, tearing the wristband off of his suit, and pointed his sonic screwdriver to it, to try to restore the connection. With any luck, she'd still be there.
"Doctor, what are you doing?" Zach asked confused.
"I'm trying to get a connection, so I can get her, of course" he answered as a matter of fact.
"But, Doctor, the planet is nearly in the black hole! There's no way you can get escape in time!" This made the Doctor look up, anger flashing in his eyes.
"So what? I've got to try! I can't leave Rose!" His voice went in a high pitch when he said her name, and he hurriedly turned to his work with blurry vision.
"Come on, come on!" He yelled frantically. Finally, he heard a static noise, indicating that there was connection. He uttered a sheer cry of relief and was about to talk, when he heard her voice.
"I'm scared, Doctor. Are you? Is it dark, where you are? I hope not. The Oods are gone now, so it's quiet up here. Can you hear me? Are you still there?"
The Doctor nearly cried of how tiny her voice sounded. How alone. She should never sound like that.
"Rose? Rose!" He cried into the microphone, begging that the connection would hold. When she didn't answer, his cries became more and more desperate.
...
Rose sat in shock, considering if she had gone mad. The Doctors voice had sounded from the speakers, and she realized how much she had missed it.
"Rose! Rose, please, are you there?" The desperation in his voice was unmistakable, but she couldn't figure, if it was because they were dying, or if it was because of her.
"Yes. Yes, I'm here!" She cried back in relief that it wasn't just her mind playing tricks on her.
"Listen, I'm coming to get you! But I need you to go to the control room. Can you do that? Rose?"
"Yes, sure! Oh, but-" she bit her lip, regretting having said the last part. It didn't matter, she would do anything!
"What? What is it?" Concern swelled in the Doctor.
"Nothing" she said a bit too quickly. "I'll be right there"
"Rose, tell me. What are you hiding from me?" She could practically hear how he raised in eyebrow.
"It's just- the Ood. They're still all around this place. I don't know if I can get past them"
"Oh" the Doctor hadn't thought of them in his hurry to get Rose out of there.
"But don't worry! I'll go there right away. See you then, Doctor!" She called cheerily, and then he could only hear static noise.
"Rose? Rose! Wait!" But he knew she had already gone. He cursed silently while jumping around pressing buttons to get the right coordinates. The familiar noise started, and he impatiently waited for it to stop, so he knew he was there.
"Come on, come on!"
…
Rose ran down the corridor with several Oods in her heels. The Devil's mind wasn't gone, it had just returned to its original body, so it could still tell the Oods to kill her. And they were going to. She inwardly cursed the doors for having to say everything out loud, so they knew, where she had gone. Finally reaching the control room, she saw that the Doctor wasn't there yet. The Oods were coming in from all sites, cornering her. She grabbed a chair and hit their translators away, when they got too close, but she was running out of time.
…
Finally, the noise stopped. The Doctor burst through the doors. He saw Rose trapped between Oods, and dialled something on his sonic screwdriver, before pointing it towards them. The Oods grabbed their heads, and fell to the ground. He immediately took the opportunity to grab her hand and pull her into the Tardis. He pulled and pushed buttons and levers when finally they arrived, where he had been just minutes before. He fell to the floor, panting out of exhaustion. She did the same. They locked eyes and broke into a wide smile. With their last energy, they stood up and wrapped each other in a tight hug. Rose smiled into the crook of his neck, and the Doctor kissed her lightly on the top of her head. There was a loud boom outside as the planet finally fell into the black hole, but they didn't move. The joy of being reunited, and the relief that the other was safe, was all that filled their minds. Eventually, they had to pull back, as a familiar voice came from Tardis' screen.
"Doctor? Doctor, are you there?" Zach asked. After several painful minutes, he had finally managed to restore the connection between the two ships. The Doctor smiled, still keeping an arm around Rose.
"We both are"
"But- but that's impossible!"
"Yes, well, it seems 'impossible' and I have some sort of agreement. Oh, and by the way, I think I have something – or rather someone – I think you would like to have returned" he smirked and looked over at Ida, who was a bit blue around the lips, but breathing.
"Ida? She's alive?"
"Yeah. A bit of oxygen starvation, but she should be all right"
…
Having finally said their goodbyes, the Doctor turned off the screen and turned to Rose. She smiled at him. But he didn't return it. The serious look on his face made Rose's smile wilt.
"What's wrong?" she asked, suddenly concerned. He frowned.
"What you did – you can't do something like that again, do you understand?" he said, referring to the fact that she had stayed behind. He expected her to look down guiltily, so he was surprised when she returned the gaze and refused to look anywhere else.
"No" she answered simply. His eyebrows flew up.
"What?" he stepped closer.
"I said no". She crossed her arms, showing that she knew, what she was saying.
"What do you mean 'no'? I told you not to, and that's it!" He raised his voice, getting angry that she was contradicting him. She snorted.
"Just because you tell me to do something, doesn't mean I'll do it! I can make decisions of my own, you know" she raised her voice as well, not liking the fact that he was trying to control her actions.
"But don't you understand, what you did today was very, very, stupid, and it could've killed you, if I didn't get to you in time!"
"I know" she bit her cheeks and squinted her eyes.
"You know? You know? Then why the hell did you do it? Are you really that stupid, or do you just have a death wish?" he was yelling and throwing his hands up in frustration at this point.
"I couldn't just leave! You were still down there!" she yelled back just as frustrated.
"So what?! You should have just left while you had the chance!"
"I couldn't! I couldn't bear to leave you alone!"
"I'd rather that you leave me alone and live, than stay and die!"
"But how could I live, if you were dead?". The words echoed loudly in the Tardis. Both were panting after having yelled so much.
"Of course you could. You always do" he said in a lower tone, tired of yelling. He thought back to Sarah Jane, and the others he'd had with him. They lived on, and so could she.
"No, I really couldn't. Don't you get it?" she said in the same low voice. Tears started to form in her eyes. The Doctor resisted the urge to throw his arms around her, and soothe her. For once, she looked down averting his eyes.
"You were all alone, I couldn't just –" her voice cracked slightly, and the Doctor suddenly wished he hadn't started the row.
"I couldn't- I know how alone you've been and, I kind of felt the same before I met you. I just didn't know it. I didn't know how empty my life was. So I couldn't just leave you. Because I –" she swallowed a lump, trying to steady the furious beating of her heart. She knew, she needed to say it. After today, she knew that they could die on any of their adventures. And she didn't want to die without telling him first.
"I –" She took a deep breath, and stared at the floor.
"I love you" she said in a low whisper. But it was loud enough for the Doctor to hear. He stumbled back a step, overwhelmed by the words he thought he'd never hear from her mouth. He opened his mouth and tried to say something, but he found himself speechless.
"Not that I expect you to feel anything, I know that you're – I mean, I didn't mean that you – I just wanted to say it in case –" she rambled quickly. She had seen the look on his face and had thought that he was frightened by her feelings.
"I mean, I know you don't feel the same way, so really, you can just forget I ever said any –" she was abruptly cut off by a pair of lips on her own.
The Doctor had lost control when she said he didn't feel the same way, and in his eager to show, that he returned her feelings, he had leapt forward, as though he could kiss the doubt out of her. It took a couple of painful seconds where she didn't respond, and he was so scared that he had misunderstood, that he nearly pulled away, before she laid her hands on his neck, pulling him closer. This gave him the courage to grab her around the waist and deepen the kiss.
And there they stood. Rose Tyler, the lost girl who'd had no clear meaning in her life. Finally, she had found it. The Doctor, who had always felt alone. Finally, he wasn't.