Author's Note- Hi again. I know, it's been a while since I've shown my face around these parts (although I have shown up on the boards.) But I, like most of you, was ridiculously inspired by that season finale. SO much. So much so, even, that it brought me back here. While this is not as introspective as Inside of Love, I did hope for the same weight. This is set immediately after the "To Be Continued..." card was thrown at us and while I do have plans to expand this later (I know, gasp!), I only have the next two chapters planned. Hopefully I'll figure out an overarching plot for the rest of this piece, but for now enjoy this. Also, I don't want to go pandering for reviews, but any criticism or opinions would be greatly appreciated, since I'm not quite sure where, in the big picture type of things, I'm going with this. Or just enjoy it! I hope you do.
Also, we all know, I don't own Chuck, or else I would not be sitting in the limbo of knowing whether or not it truly is coming back.
Chuck vs. the Pain
This was different. So very, scarily different. Gone was the light feeling from days ago. He would almost venture to say he felt heavier. His muscles burned with the adrenaline that coursed through them, pumped by his heart, instructed by his brain. His brain. An organ he had just regained some control over, only to be lost over one decision. One. Huge. Decision. And now he felt as if he had even less control than he'd had in the past two years. Now, the instructions that his brain sent his body - send adrenaline here, keeping heart pumping, stronger here, faster here - were new and scary.
All at once, as he stood there, taking in Sarah and Casey's shocked expressions- Sarah's lined with a confusion and a hurt that he could barely discern, a dull ache developed behind his eyes. The haze of the flash still clouded his head, feeling as if a fog was thinning through his thoughts. But an unfamiliar feeling found his limbs, tiny twitches in his arms and legs from the exertion. It would be minutes before the pain set in, any minute now his muscles would scream at him, threatening rebellion. He didn't want to think of just what havoc he had wreaked on his own body, thankful for the chemicals still pumped by his heart and brain to keep him moving and the shock at bay.
"Are you going to uncuff us or what, superboy," Casey growls and Chuck looks back at them, eyes widening before he scrambles to one of the unconscious agents. He stops, standing over one of the men who for all intents and purposes could have been mistaken for simply sleeping. He stares before he kneels, feeling that unfamiliar sensation invade him again. There was a hidden strength there, more than the adrenaline and the fog of the new Intersect flash and it lingered, beneath the sinews of muscle, the sponge of his marrow and the expanse of skin cells and pores. Chuck takes a deep, steady breath as he puts a name to this new feeling before searching through the pockets of his fallen enemy for keys.
Powerful. Capable of anything.
And all at once, it terrified him.
Long fingers grasp a set of keys and he pulls them from the agent's pocket, once again long limbs tangling upwards to bring him to his handlers. Examining the lock on each set of cuffs, he finds the corresponding key (by his own talents or the Intersect's he couldn't be sure) and unlocks Sarah's first, tossing them to the far end of the room before unlocking Casey's as well.
Neither agent moved toward him.
"Say something." He pants, looking between them both, brown eyes wide. "Please."
Sarah takes a tentative step forward, hand outstretched as if he were an alien she was afraid to touch. He doesn't move. He doesn't know what to do, what new position this put their new relationship in.
"What happened to that 'I just want a normal life' garbage?" Casey sneers, already moving about the room, making sure the agents were still out, massaging his aching wrists. Chuck swallows hard, following the older man's movements with his eyes, as it was becoming increasingly hard to move his own limbs.
"I realized," He began, casting a hesitant glance to Sarah, who continued to look at him as if he'd just killed her puppy. "That's not me anymore."
Casey grunts, the number 5 half grunt half chuckle, shaking his head as he moved towards the door. "I could've told you that, dumbass."
"How do you feel?" Sarah's voice came out soft, but unwavering. She was struggling, fighting every impulse to strip him and search him for wounds, anything. But Chuck knew that voice. That was Agent Sarah, wrangling control from Sarah the Mama Bear. Sarah the Lover. Chuck looked at his hands, palms red and fingers throbbing from the fight, as if at any moment blue electricity would start crackling around them, or something equally as cool and ridiculous. And terrifying. As if they would answer all the questions he knew he would have as soon as this fog lifted, as soon as he regained control.
"Fine right now, but that could be the adrenaline talking." There was a halfhearted laugh and Sarah's face grew a tiny bit more concerned. Slowly, the pain began to escalate, soreness enveloping his limbs and he winced as he lifted an arm to stretch it, or something. Sarah only nodded before Casey came back over, scowling as if he wasn't quite sure if he wanted to be angry at the younger man or not. Chuck couldn't be sure if the older man should be angry or not, either, so that was slightly more reassuring.
"Come on, we need to get out of here," says Casey, no gentleness in his voice. It's a sharp contrast to the softness of Sarah and she ducks her head, turning towards the door. She stops, briefly, before she remembers the events earlier, and rushes out, leaving a confused Chuck Bartowski and John Casey in her wake. It was then that it occurred to Chuck where she was going, and he barely breathes Bryce's name before following suit.
He finds Sarah knelt next to Bryce's body just outside the room. She is kneeling next to him and even now, even after he saw the other man die, he is struck by how pale his skin looks. The red blossom of blood on his shirt is in stark contrast to the white room he'd just been in and Chuck has to blink several times to adjust his eyesight. Sarah's fingers ghost over Bryce, afraid to touch once again. Or maybe her walls had become so strong, that they'd actually encompassed her, unable to make any physical contact, crossing the barrier around her. There's a brief moment, when Chuck swallows air as he watches her, and she hesitates before putting a hand on his chest, other hand moving to shut his eyes. There is an ache they both feel, as he relives the moment not five minutes ago, watching Bryce breathe in that final way, pleading him to stay. He could fight this.
He is thankful Sarah wasn't there.
The doors to the Intersect room hiss shut and Casey comes up next to Chuck, as Sarah still kneels next to Bryce. "A team is coming to clean up the damage and detain the traitors. You," He jabbed the air in Chuck's direction, "Need to talk to the medic team when they get here, too. Your body was not, iis not/i, ready for the strain you just put on it."
Chuck only nods, wincing at the pain it gives him. Casey eyes them both before walking off, presumably to wait for the team. Sarah doesn't allow herself the tears she knows she should be crying, falling from her knees to a sitting position. Chuck doesn't hesitate this time, as he kneels next to Sarah. Neither of them say anything, as they both mourn their friend, their enemy, their adversary. He sits and slowly, pulls Sarah towards him. She doesn't fight, doesn't struggle against his grip, until she finally collapses against his chest. There are no shudders of sobs when he feels the tears seep into the dress shirt from the wedding. There is only Sarah, crying in his arms as he presses his nose to her hair, eyes shut tightly as tears prick his own eyelids. This is heavier, hurts more, hurts deeper, than it had the first time he'd found out that Bryce was dead. That time it was more shocking that hurtful. For once Chuck was glad for the physical pain he was feeling. It guarded him from the pain emanating from his heart.
Sarah lifts her head and wipes furiously at her eyes, angry at them for betraying her. Chuck doesn't falter in his hold on her. Immediately she shifts in his arms and sighs heavily, letting out the sobs she refused to release with one long breath. It is now that he becomes painfully aware of the ache in his arms, the pain in his legs, the throbbing of his head. He's used to the headache, they were commonplace after a particularly jarring flash, but the physical pain is new. He winces as Sarah pulls away from him, sucking in breath sharply as he tries to move his arms. It is now that the concern finds Sarah's face once more and she gently lifts his arms from around her, giving her space to inspect him.
"Chuck. Tell me what hurts." Her voice is detached, almost clinical as she asks. There are no traces of the break she just suffered. Chuck keeps his eyes closed, breathing deeply to try and alleviate the pain, the pressure throbbing in his skull.
"Um, how about everything." He gives and Sarah takes his arm, pulling his suit jacket off as carefully as she can. She can feel the muscles twitching from exertion beneath her fingers, tensing and relaxing. "Breathe, Chuck. Deeply, in through your nose, out through your mouth. Just focus on breathing, okay?" She tells him and he nods.
Her fingers move gently, working through the muscles in his arms, light touches and movements to massage them into relaxation. Her fingers are precise, finding pressure points to alleviate pain, combing through to relax where they are tense. Chuck wonders briefly how many times she did this for Bryce after missions and the thought makes the lump in his throat grow harder. He focuses on breathing, just as she described, bringing the air deep into his body (God, even his stomach burned), holding it, and then letting it out completely. He could focus on this, could focus on the air and not the pain, not the throbbing or burning or tightening or Sarah's fingers working their way up his shoulder. Just as she could focus on him, focus on fixing this. She knew how to fix him, at least fix this. At least until they could get him properly examined.
At least until the heavy footfalls of agents led by Casey breaks them both from their bubbles. Sarah stops massaging Chuck's shoulder and his eyes immediately shoot open as Casey ignores them, directing the team to be on their guard, in case the others had woken up as he opens the door to the room. Chuck tries to move, scoot away from Bryce's body, but the very idea of the movement makes him wince, his eyes shutting tightly and jaw clenching at the pain. Sarah rises to her feet as two men move Bryce away, assessing him silently before loading him into a black body bag. A small whimper escapes from Sarah at the sight before she looks down and sees Chuck still seated.
"Where's the medic team?" She asks sharply, as three men come in with a stretcher.
"Is that really necessary?" Chuck asks, turning to look up at Sarah who scowls down at him. The quiet is broken as agents move in and out of the hall, bringing the Ring agents from the intersect room, cuffed and detained, and the two medical agents kneel in front of Chuck.
"Can you move, Agent Carmichael?" One asks and Chuck lets out a long, tired breath at the pseudonym, attempting to move his legs only to be met with the sharp pain in his right leg and left knee. Puffing out his cheeks, he shakes his head, frustrated at the very idea that despite this new Intersect making him stronger better faster, it still incapacitated him to the point of embarrassing weakness. The agents nod to each other, quickly explaining they would be very careful with him getting him onto the stretcher. He only yelps in reply as one takes his legs and the other fits hands beneath his arms and they both lift, setting him down on the stretcher. Sarah is not far behind and not a second passes before she is at Chuck's side, hand grasping his.
"He has a likely rotator cuff injury, there is some slight swelling around his right shoulder, along with a few more pulled muscles, I'd say groin or hamstring, with a possible hyperextension." Once again Sarah's voice is clean, direct and unattached as she tells the medics of Chuck's injuries. He groans, keeping his eyes shut as they roll him outside to the waiting ambulance.
"Really? An ambulance? I'm not dying. Nothing is even broken. Just severely... pulled." He manages to sigh out and now it's not Sarah's hands moving over him with the care that only Sarah can provide, it's one of the paramedics, unbuttoning his dress shirt to assess the damage. They are careful but not caring, precise and practiced in their movements and Chuck knows this feeling well. Ellie had practiced on him dozens of time during medical school. Sarah stands to the side, watching with a careful eye as Chuck inhales sharply and winces at every touch, every soft poke and prod. They bandage his shoulder, an ice pack beneath a wrapping of Ace bandage, and provide the only diagnosis they can. Rest, ice, ibuprofen when you get home. You're lucky these are the worst of your injuries. He can see their words in Sarah's eyes as he catches them, the glassy blue he sees next to the open ambulance.
Another one loads Bryce away and drives off.
With the last of the enemy agents detained, the armored car carrying them rolls away. Casey meets them outside the building and lets out a long huff of air. Sarah and Chuck are silent, with Chuck leaning halfheartedly against Sarah as his legs are barely speaking to him.
"Let's get the nerd home. We have to let Beckman know about this in the morning." Casey says and Sarah nods, wrapping her arm around Chuck's middle, and he around her shoulders. Casey casts a glance at the duo and snorts, walking ahead of them and muttering something. Sarah doesn't catch it, but she's almost positive he had just muttered, "Man up, Bartowski."
That simple phrase reassures her that no matter what changes in Chuck's head, he'll still be hers. So she grips him a little tighter, and helps him to the waiting Crown Vic, where he falls asleep, head in her lap in the back seat on the way back to Echo Park.