It's hard watching the woman you love fall in love with another man. It's hard to know that she will never be yours, will never be held in your arms or be kissed by your lips. It's a pain I've struggled with for too long, but it's something I have learned to accept. Such a beautiful woman; so full of life, of happiness. That she was with someone who allowed her to feel such things was enough for me; would have to be enough. The seasons will roll on, and I will still be here in my little clinic, doing what I can and helping who I must, while she spends her days in bliss with her lover. Wayne and Brad have tried their hardest to keep me happy, though they aren't sure what is wrong. I've always been odd, been a bit eccentric, and they are used to that. But the stifling silence, unspoken feelings, aren't something that they are used to. Brad has no clue, but I have an inkling that Wayne suspects. He has seen the way my face lights up, how my mood soars, whenever she stops by or I see her from a distance. He suspects, but hasn't spoken a word. He knows it would embarrass me, and for that I'm thankful he's my friend. The seasons will continue on, I will continue on, while she builds a life with the man of her dreams. A man who isn't me. And that's ok. I'm not the kind of person many people-especially women-want to be around.
Lately though, that spark seems to have dimmed. She isn't smiling as much as she was. Her laughter doesn't echo through the town square while she laughs with Lissette and Miranda during her weekly visits. She looks empty, hollow even. There are rumors going around that her dream may not be coming true after all. Call me selfish and a horrible person, but I felt my hopes spark to life. I knew that I may finally have a chance with this beautiful, selfless, strong woman. And I hoped. I dreamed of our life together, of what we could be if she realized what had been in front of her all along. But I wouldn't press. Wouldn't interfere. If she worked out whatever was going on I could be alright with that. I wanted her happy, even if that happiness didn't come from me. The spark continued to dim, until it was all but gone. She stopped visiting. I had heard she spent most of her time on her farm, avoiding people and the happiness that came along with being around her friends. I grew desperate. I wanted to know how she was, if she was alright. She may only ever see me as a friend and that would be fine. It's my job to fix people, no matter how broken they may be.
Then suddenly, she started visiting again. Slowly at first, a day here and there, but she visited my clinic. Spoke to me when she saw me out in town. We even had lunch together in Brad's restaurant one day when she happened to stop by, Wayne smartly making his exit. I think Brad finally realized what was going on-he brought us a special dessert. On the house, he said, though I suspect he'll lord that over me the next time he needs an office visit. It was that day that she smiled, truly smiled, at me and I felt myself falling down a hole I would never climb out of, and I wasn't sure that I wanted to. She was finally starting to seem happy again, to seem alive, until one day when she visited me during a rainstorm. She was soaked, dripping water onto the entryway of my clinic, looking like she had just lost her best friend. I closed the office-it was empty anyway-and took her upstairs. She confessed that she had parted way with her lover, that it had been going downhill for a long time and she didn't want to stop it. She realized quickly that the relationship had been mostly one sided but didn't want to break his heart. That morning he had visited the farm and they had parted ways. The spark of hope grew brighter, I knew I wanted to say something, but I stopped myself. She was hurting, and I didn't need to add to her worries. So I sat. I listened. I even made tea and sat with her while she cried. The fact that she came to me was enough. There were so many other, more suitable people for her to talk to, but she came to me.
In the end, she fell asleep on my couch, her tear stained face slightly swollen from crying. I gently lifted her head and gave her a pillow, covered her with a blanket. I don't know how long I sat and just watched her sleep, but eventually I fell asleep in my chair. It wasn't comfortable, but I woke up the next morning feeling refreshed and well rested regardless. She was awake, had been for a while, and had even made breakfast as a thank you for letting her stay the night. Then she went home and I spent the entire day beating myself up, constantly asking what would have happened had I revealed my true feelings to her. I thought that she would stop visiting, would start visiting her friends again, enjoying her time on the town square laughing like she used to. But instead she visited my clinic. She was never sick, she simply wanted to talk, or go to lunch, or just sit and have a cup of tea together. Slowly that spark of life came back. She laughed again, often at something I said, though I could never figure out what I said that she found so humorous. She'd gaze at me with such happiness that I would feel my heart swell and that happiness reflected in my own expression. I had to do it. It was time, surely, to attempt to speak my true feelings. I couldn't hold it in any longer.
She came to me one morning, like usual, for a cup of tea and a talk. I asked her to follow me to somewhere more private. I didn't want Wayne bursting in like he was prone to do during serious moments. There was a cliff overlooking Westown that we had visited together more than once, and that she loved to look off of. We stood in companionable silence side by side for a few moments. She looked like she wanted to say something more than once, but kept stopping herself. Steeling myself, I took a breath, let it go slowly, then I confessed the feelings that I had been holding in since I met her so many seasons ago. I bared my heart to this girl, this woman, knowing my feelings wouldn't be returned, but I couldn't hold them in any longer. But instead of the rejection I expected, she smiled, tears in her eyes. And then I noticed the hand she'd had fisted in the pocket of her dress. Slowly she removed it, something clenched in her fist. She took my hand and placed a pendant there, the lover's stone delicately shining in the sunlight. I couldn't take my eyes off it, off of this small object that held all the words she'd been unable to say. That tiny spark of hope, the dreams that I'd had, I saw them all in this necklace and felt the beginnings of tears in my eyes that i quickly forced back. In answer, I simply hugged her, held her to me as gently as I could, and I felt her arms wrap around me in response, her head resting against my shoulder.
This. This is what I had longed for, what I had been wanting for so long. And it was finally mine. She was mine. I knew we would have a life together, that we would be happy. I could feel it in my very bones. This was the woman for me, and I the man for her. I would be sure to make her happy, to make sure her smile never faded, that her laugh never disappeared. Whatever she needed me for, I would be there. I would be her rock, the strength she needed when all others failed. When we pulled apart again, I saw these same feelings reflected back at me in her eyes. She felt just as strongly as I did, she just had taken a roundabout way of getting to me. We were meant for one another, had always been meant for one another, from the very first time we had met. Our official relationship was just beginning, but the roots ran much, much deeper. And we had all the time in the world to bloom.
Thank you for reading! This was just something I had bouncing around my head last night. I broke up with Ludus in my game in order to date Ford because he's such a sweetheart. He seems so genuinely happy during his dialogue when you speak to him after you start dating. I love it so much. I haven't published anything in a long, long time, and I usually don't write anything quite this short. I just didn't want to write a full fledged story about this. I thought short and simple would be perfect. Again, thanks for reading!
xoxo
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