(A/N) Seriously do NOT ask where this idea came from, because I don't know... and I wouldn't especially want to find out. This is different than my other romance ones, just to warn you. But the humor is the same as always (heheheh).
Disclaimer: I do not own any of Arakawa-sensei's characters from FullMetal Alchemist. I DO however own this story, plot, and otherwise.
Other Disclaimer: Just so you know I'm not implying all girls are this specific way... (believe me I'm nothing like this)
"You are so insensitive!" Winry slapped me across the face. "You suck!" she stuck her tongue out at me.
"Geez Winry..." I said rubbing my face "I don't really get these things. I AM a guy you know..." I reminded her, though it was hard thing to forget... I hope.
"That's the thing. You can't expect to understand these kinds of things until you're put in these kinds of situations." Winry crossed her arms and looked at me funny.
I groaned "If a guy hit on me I'd punch him in the gut." I stated bluntly.
"It's not that easy," she waved her arms back and forth "I really liked him! I want him to like me and ask me out!"
I was confused now "Then what's the problem?"
"He grabbed my ass!" she screeched.
"So?" I said now getting irratated by her confusing mood swinging.
"Argh!" I could tell she was annoyed by my ignorance "I don't want to be treated like trash or a slut he can take advantage of... You just don't get it do you?" She looked at me.
"Nope." I said without much thought.
"Fine, then I'll make you." she wandered over to her closet and started throwing things around. Apparently looking for something or another.
I took another sip of my now flat soda, and leaned back against her bed.
"Come here!" she said ripping off my shirt.
"Gawd, talk about being on the rebound." I said choking on what was left of the liquid in my mouth.
"Shut up." she said putting a bra on my chest.
"Winry! WHAT THE F-" she covered my mouth and started stuffing the bra with socks. She looked at it for a second and walked over to her dresser.
"Winry, what are you DOING?" I yelled trying to figure out how the hell to get the damned thing off me.
"Stuffing you." she said walking back over with more socks "Your boobs are too small."
"Winry! I'm a GUY! I'm not supposed to have..." I could feel my face turning red as she furiously stuffed more socks in.
"Hm..." she examined me, walked over to her closet and came back holding some sort of shirt.
She tried to fit it on me, it didn't work out so well. "Geez Ed, you've got too many muscles she said looking at me more, making me feel a little self concious.
"Here!" she held up a red haori "It's got loose sleeves so it'll fit you." She said putting it on me.
She looked me over for a minute and then started to blush a little. "Uh.."
"What's wrong?" I said obliviously.
"Perhaps you should put the skirt on yourself.." she said handing me a black skirt that was, by the way, rather short.
Though I wasn't fond of the idea, I'd become curious about what the hell she was doing, so I played along.
I motioned for her to turn around, and I took my pants off and slipped into the skirt.
"Gah!" I yelled "My legs are cold..."
Winry turned around "Hahaha! Okay you really need makeup..." she said still lauging.
After she finished putting mounds of makeup on me, which made actually look girlish, she took my hair out of its braid.
"Here," she said and started to brush my hair "it'll look better down."
"What am I," I whined "your doll?"
"Ha, no you'll see what'll happen soon enough." she said finshing my hair.
"Hm... hear, wear my black boots." she said handing me high heeled boots.
"Are you implying something!" I growled.
"No, no." she laughed again "I just figured you didn't want to wear stilletos." (A/N) Um.. no clue how to spell that... I would never wear those anyway...
I looked down at the boots and grabbed them from her. "These will be fine..."
-
I stared out the window wondering where the hell Winry would want to take me dressed in drag.
She stopped the car and smiled "Here we are. Get out now."
"The mall!" I screamed "Hell no! People will SEE me, you dumbass!"
"Hey dumbass," she mocked me "they wouldn't recognize you now even if you ran around screaming 'Hey look at me I'm a man in a skirt.' "
I sighed and got out of the car. She started to pull away. "Wait! Hey! Don't leave me here alone!" I screamed.
"I'll be back in five hours to pick you up." she grinned. "And I know you probably wont be calling anyone to pick you up any earlier... looking like that." And drove off.
She was right though. I wouldn't especially want to be picked up and have to explain this to any of my friends, let alone my family. Besides, my cell phone was in my pants.
"Shit..." I said to myself "now I can't even call her if I NEED to be picked up early."
I turned around and looked at the mall entrance.
"Well" I said gulping "I can handle this. I can prove her wrong... this wont be so hard at all."
My first real step as a girl was a sad one.
Why? Because I was already awkward standing on heels, let alone getting one stuck to a piece of gum on the asphalt, causing me to fall onto the ground, whispering curses to the piece of sticky substance.
Some guy around 17 or so rushed over and asked me if I was alright as I was standing up.
"Er..." I put on a girlish tone "Yes I'm fine, thank you."
"Thats good," he smiled at me and winked "wouldn't want to get that pretty face of yours dirty."
'Damn that Winry!' I yelled in my thoughts 'She made me a hot girl!'
"Uh yeah..." I said looking at him awkwardly and soon hastened off to get away, because frankly, he was scaring the shit out of me.
And with that I stepped through the doors, and entered the most hellish five hours I would ever endure.
(A/N) Hahaha! Poor Edward is going to suffer through this fanfic... Let's all take a moment of silence in pity of him... Okay now you can start laughing again. Yes this fic will be fun and I'll update soon... If you leave me lovely reviews!