103 Ways to Annoy, Harass, Confuse or Generally Scare Lord Voldemort
Disclaimer: I do not live in the U.K., I am not a teacher, and I own lots of Llamas; therefore, I am not J.K. Rowling and own only the llamas.
With special thanks to Mugglenet, Amanda Lack, and 103 Ways to Annoy, Harass, Confuse or Generally Scare Lord Voldemort: surefire ways to get yourself killed, or at least crucio'd round the block and back again; the fabulous list that started all this madness.
A/N: I had a wacky crazy idea that I thought would be funny but most of you will probably think it's demented. Here it is. Whoop-Dee-do.
Italics equal thoughts.
(1) Attack of the Evil Peoples from Lala land
Hermione Granger was having a wonderful dream. It was much like The Beatles "Lucy in the sky". She was floating along in the sky and this funny little boats-that-weren't were far below on the shore of a huge lake. She was floating down to the boats and the people that were getting in them, when suddenly the giant squid appeared out of the depths of the lake. It devoured all the "boats" and people in one huge gulp. For some reason Hermione laughed at all the little people scrambling for their lives. The giant squid looked up and gave her a huge wink and thumbs-up. Then it slid back down into the inky blackness. Just as the top of its head disappeared…Hermione woke up.
That was a disturbing dream. She looked around her room. There was definitely something wrong with it. There were funny little creatures all over. The silver moonlight reflected of their delicate wings and slender backs. Their small bodies were clothed in ridiculous furry pink outfits. Then there was their heads. They were twice the size of their bodies and pure white. Their cheeks were tinted pink and they had huge eyes that never blinked. They had humongous grins plastered on their faces. Their heads were darned in hats with white bunny ears. There were five of them on top of her dresser, two flying in through the window, and; oh god; two creeping up on her bed from the floor. Suddenly the two were on either side of her head. They stared down at her with their maniacal grins.
Great, death by Hello Kitty characters. But she was disturbed from her thoughts when they started talking in high-pitched squeaky voices.
"We have come to take you away!" They screeched.
"But I don't want to go!" Hermione whined still half believing that she was still asleep.
They just laughed, no, giggled and pulled her up. For small care-bear-esque creatures they were pretty strong. They flew her out the window.
Nice, if the care-bears-in-training don't kill me, the fall will. She thought and promptly passed out.
A/N: Well that was the first of my demented chapters. Run, it gets much worse.
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She gets let go unharmed.
Oh…You don't have a little sister? Darn…