The Adventures of Louie the Fat Chicken and Company
Once upon a time there was a fat chicken named Louie. He decided to take a trip to Antarctica with his fiancé Sandy the skunk. There he realized he was allergic to ice and almost died. His rib cage caved in, therefore puncturing his lungs. Straining for breath, Louie used his chicken claws to rip open Sandy's chest to obtain her organs (Which included the voice box). His life was more important than hers because he could fly. Stitching up his feathered skin obtaining lady organs nestled deep in his man chicken chest, he was back on his feet. Waddling away from his dead fiancé's carcass, he dialed his uncle Cracker's cellular device
"Hello?" answered Cracker.
"It is me, Louie!"
"You sound
different, Louie. Are there lady organs in your chest?"
"How
did you know?"
"You sound like Sandy. Where is she?"
"…Over there…"
"What's
that?"
"SANDY IS BESIDE THE FACT, SIR CRACKA."
Louie informed Cracker about his severe allergic reaction to ice.
"You aren't
allergic to water, are you?"
Louie cocked his head like a rabbit
that has been abused. "WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?"
Louie hung up. Uncle Cracker was very uncooperative today. Finding himself hungry, he made his way back to the carcass. Hmm. Yummy. He thought, and started to dig in. Filled with satisfaction, he decided to take a midnight stroll across the ice. Soon he found himself getting lost in the barren wasteland. So he decided to head north, where his natural instincts pointed him. The ice started thinning, and cracked! Louie fell through the surface.
Realizing his feathers were not meant for swimming, he started to sink. In the nick of time, his savior dolphin Pedro, the Mexican rascal, saved him from the chilling waters and swam him back to shore. Pedro tried to thrive on land along with Louie, but failed miserably and shriveled up like a prune on the ice. Louie ate him too. There were some deep sea tacos left in his digestive tract. Louie, pleased because he had fulfilled his mission to load his stomach, he slowly rotted away from the inside out like a monarch larvae infested with fly young'ns on the island of his choice.
The End.