Welcome to Death Infinity. Proof that Ari should not stay up past midnight (even if it was common habit) whilst rather upset and having a keyboard at her beck and call. It is another strange story, borne of mismatched and yet unwanted emotions, of demons living, preying within one's heart. And that is all it can be.
Disclaimer: Although Kingdom Hearts would be a wonderful thing to own, Ari denies all rights and claims to it. A remarkable day, indeed.
Note: A synonym of futile is 'wasted.' Remember that. And yes, anything that is not capitalised is meant to be that way; MSWord automatically capitalised them anyway. It was irritating to fix.
Suggested Music: Internal Afflicion from OverClocked ReMix.
Several seconds
shielding certain severed stances
killing christened caring cautions
loving lonely listless lady
finding frankly futile friends
Seconds spent in stupid—
Dreams.
My mind is shattered, my dreams are missing. Misery flows in a steady stream, searching for company's relief. Similarly, I feel tears streaming, a river flowing down my face, but when I raise my fingers to my eyes, there is no water.
I blink tears from blue-green eyes, wrapping my arms around myself in an effort not to lose face.
no reprieve
Black shadows dance around me, a jerking, hopping dance, trembling in their anticipation. My head lowers, condemning me to this ice-like prison, this dark, endless bastion. My chest hitches as my breath catches; a lone Heartless springs, only to be disintegrated by the force surrounding me.
no escape
A sigh as I lay back, blinking hard and staring into the darkness. Tears prick at my eyes, but they will not be exposed to the frigid air of Kingdom Hearts.
Life is hard. And though the road was hard, I have learned this. I have learned one of life's lessons.
none shall pass but shadows, returning to the Darkness
Trapped once more, left to learn the lesson again. What is my fate, the dying fate of the one trapped in the darkness, condemned to the shadows?
Why don't I understand yet?!
the living death
Warm beaches and swaying palms, pale faces and tanned bodies, hands joined together in the joy of accompaniment. Bright, white sands and dark, black cavern, joined together by grey paths in the absence of separation.
Separation of dark and light, of day and night, of ins and outs and twists within.
Why—
don't—
I—
understand—?!
good things come to those who wait, but waiting involves time, which is a precious and erratic commodity.
death is only the beginning of life. Finite infinity.
from the darkness comes light. A shining beacon.
Am I that beacon?
Of course not. Why would I, of all people, be the one to allow the light inside?
Perhaps . . .
perhaps it is not I who misunderstand. Perhaps . . . it is another who misunderstood? Perhaps I misunderstood myself. Yes. I misunderstand many things, the first of which to be myself.
silver shining certainly seen saviour smited sometimes seen said Sora
And perhaps, as much as I would hate to admit it, I need . . . I need your help.
Pale hands, run red with the metaphorical blood of many, reaching upwards in silently heard pleas.
Perhaps . . . it is time to place my trust in those I care for. Perhaps . . . the one in the center of chaos can be helped to stand aloft?
Find me in the darkness, save me now
broken
down
again
I hate myself.
Yet . . . it cannot be helped. Life will continue, whether live or die; someone will continuously continue my path, carve my trail for future followers.
but i dont want that
to happen
again
My shield flickers, my resolve weakened.
No! I must stay strong.
I must stay strong . . .
for Kairi.
I must see her again. I must apologise for what I have done, for everything I have done.
Only then is death approachable.
. . . if I don't know myself, does anyone else know me?
Can she see the true me, the riku hidden in the deepest depths of the soul?
approachable death
The shield fails me.
Shadows . . . leaping, diving, scratchingbitingpullingjabbingseizingscreaming—
Death is only the beginning of life.