Adrien Agreste was raised to be the perfect boy. 'You're an Agreste, this much is expected of you.' He heard those words everyday, sometimes multiple times a day, from his father. His life had been perfectly planned out for him from the day he was born until the day he died. And he hated it. There was nothing he wanted to do more than be able to actually make one decision for himself; to be able to choose where he went in life instead of mindlessly following his father's orders. But he was always too timid to actually do anything about it.
Despite every fiber in his being telling him, yelling at him, that he needed to take hold of his life he never did. Instead he opted for keeping his father happy because it made his life easier. Sure he could never make Gabriel Agreste perfectly happy but it was better to sate the Agreste family head than anger him. So that's what he did, he played the perfect son, until he finally snapped.
Two years into university and Adrien had finally had enough of his father's demands. He was tired of the unreachable expectations, the verbal abuse whenever he failed, never having a person in his life who actually loved him, of feeling like he was never even wanted. It wasn't pretty nor was it as glorious as the blond always imagined telling off his father would be. The argument that had erupted between them was vicious, raw, and earth shattering and it was over something that, in hindsight, was terribly insignificant. But it was the straw that finally broke the camel's back, as the saying goes.
"Third place in your class?" Gabriel has asked as he sat at his desk, his voice as cold as ever. "What, did you spend your time partying instead of studying?" He asked as he glanced up from his papers to stare blankly at his son. "What? No! I worked my ass off in that class! There were nights I never slept just to get some extra studying done!" Adrien shouted back. Instantly he regretted that decision as he watched the harsh glare settle over the elder's features. "Watch your mouth, boy." Gabriel growled out in a warning. The younger opened his mouth to apologize but he paused. Why should he? Why should he deal with any of this? What was honestly stopping him from just walking away and never coming back?
"No, you know what? Fuck this. Nothing I do will ever make you happy!" Adrien yelled, slamming his hands down on his father's desk. "I do everything that you ask of me witho-" THWACK! The blond stumbled backwards, cradling his cheek with his right hand. "You dare speak to me that way?! After everything I've done for you?!" Gabriel roared, his hand still hovering next to him after backhanding his son. "Everything you've done for me?! Ever since mom died you've done nothing." Adrien shot back, voice shaking as tears threatened to spill from his eyes. "Look at the life I've given you! There are children who would kill to live the life you do!" yelled Gabriel.
"Then they can have it! I'd give everything to them just to have a father that loved me!" Adrien cried out, stunning his father into silence. "I'm done with this. Push your agenda on someone else." The blond muttered out before turning around to leave the office. No, to leave the house. "Adrien! Get back here! If you walk out now you'll never be allowed back!" Gabriel shouted out after him but the blond was gone.
That night he had wandered through Paris aimlessly as he was pelted with rain during a thunderstorm. He didn't care about his clothes being soaked to the bone or catching a cold or just anything. He felt hollow and lifeless, like a shell of what once was a human. The only thing he felt was the pain in his heart and it was crippling. He didn't know how long he was out there, long enough for his phone to die after ignoring the endless calls and text messages from his father's PA, Nathalie. But that was just another thing he didn't care about.
Eventually he found himself standing on the platform in one of the many metro stations in Paris. Trains would come and go but he never got on them instead just standing there like a statue. The automated voice system chimed out through the almost barren station. "Attention travelers. The next train will not be stopping at this station. Please be sure to stand safely behind the yellow line." It warned. Adrien felt his feet move forward. This would stop the pain, right?
Another step forward. It's not like his father would miss him. Another step. He had just basically been disowned, and there was no one else to care for him. Another step. He was alone. He was standing right at the edge of the platform with his toes hanging off the edge. Yeah, this was the best thing he could do now. The train's horn started blaring as it traveled down the tracks and he could feel the ground start to rumble beneath him. Just one more step.
As he lifted his leg to drop off the platform he felt something yank at the collar of his shirt, pulling him backwards and safely away from the train. He fell backwards on top of whoever it was that just saved him from being incredibly stupid. Was it a woman's voice he heard groaning underneath him? Quickly he made his way off her, rolling onto his hands and knees to look at whoever his savior was and he froze.
He looked down into the most beautiful shade of blue he'd ever seen before in his life. It was like someone captured a night sky full of stars only to place them in this mysterious woman's eyes. He was drowning in their endless depths as they looked back at him full of worry and concern. Concern for him. He'd never seen anyone look at him that way before, so that's what it looked like? Slowly he took in the rest of her; pale skin, cute pink freckles, a rounded nose and plump lips that formed a frown. Her gentle and round features were framed by raven hair that was falling somewhat out of her pigtails although he swore there was a blue sheen glittering throughout those strands. Her words pulled him out of his daze.
"Hey...are you alright?" She asked him, her voice acting as the fingers of a harpist plucking at the strings of his heart. It was a sweet melody that seemed to reignite the warmth his body once lacked. "I...I don't know…" He muttered, looking down from her and towards his hands. "Probably not…" He added, voice barely just a whisper. Rocking back to sit on the heels of his feet the girl stood up to brush herself off. Then suddenly her hand was in his face, snapping him out of his thoughts to look up at her. Her smile was breathtaking.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She offered softly. "Only if you want to, I won't force you to." He took her hand, it felt so small in his own but it was just as soft and as smooth as her skin looked. When he got to his feet he almost didn't want to let it go, but he knew he had to, so reluctantly he pulled his hand back to shove it in his pocket. He wanted to answer her but his voice was gone and he couldn't find it. He watched her purse her lips together as they stood there silently before she spoke up again. "At least let me get you home safely?" She asked and he quickly shook his head.
"Ah, okay. Do you have somewhere else you can stay?" She suggested. Why did she want to help him so much? They didn't know each other, did they? He didn't recognize her from university so that wasn't it and despite how beautiful she was he didn't see her during his work as a model either. So then...why? Was she really just this kind? "I...I think I have a friend...who might take me in." He managed to say as he found his voice finally. She seemed to let out a breath of relief at his words. "I'll take you to them, then." She said calmly. He was hesitant at first because there was no reason for her to stay with him but it was clear she wasn't going to budge on this so he nodded before pulling out his phone and...right, it was dead.
"Uhm...can I borrow your phone? Mine is dead…" He asked quietly. She hummed out a quick "Mhmm!" before pulling out her phone and handing it to him. For the first time that night he smiled though it was a very small one; of course her phone was in a pink case and it was decorated with small ladybugs. He dialed the number to the only person he could call his friend, Nino, and when he picked briefly explained there was another fight, that it was bad, and that he needed a place to stay for a while. Nino had a brief idea of Adrien's home life but they had only known each other for maybe a year after they met in a class at college. Nino was more than willing to help him out, even offering to pick him up.
He peeked over at the girl who was still standing so close to him. Part of him wanted to stay with her. She had just saved his life and this feeling he had around her...he didn't want it to go away. But she probably had other things she had to do; things more important than walk with him halfway across the city. "Yeah, that'd be great." He answered before telling Nino where he was. He nodded his head when Nino explained that he'll be there soon before hanging up.
The blond handed the phone back over to the girl with a quick thank you. "He said he'd pick me up. So...you don't have to stay." He droned out. God he wished he didn't sound so dead but he couldn't help it. No matter how warm this girl made him feel the memory of his fight with his father was still so fresh on his mind. "Nonsense!" She said with a wide smile. It sort of caught him off guard. "I'll just sit with you until he get's here. It's not a problem, I have nothing important going on tonight."
Adrien blinked at her a few times. Was she even real or was she just a figment of his imagination? There was no way someone this happy existed. He nodded his head lightly before following her up the stairs to the street where she opened up her umbrella for the both of them to stand under. There was a bench near the station that they sat on after she tried to wipe off as much of the water as she could. From there it was nothing but silence between them and honestly Adrien was perfectly okay with it. He wasn't to sure if he really wanted to talk about anything yet and he knew he'd already have to explain things even more to Nino. Just the thought of doing that twice exhausted him. So he was very thankful to just sit quietly with her instead of sitting quietly alone. Thankful...did he thank her yet?
"Thank you...by the way." He said suddenly. He must have startled her because she whipped her head around quickly. "Hrmm?" She asked, looking at him wide eyed. "Thank you for...for saving me back there. I almost did something really stupid and...thank you." He breathed out, attempting to give her the most grateful smile he could no matter how broken it may have looked. She returned it warmly and gently placed her free hand on his shoulder. "Don't mention it. I can understand that sometimes life may seem too hard to handle but…" She trailed off for a moment like she was trying to find her words. "But the night is always darkest before the dawn. Whatever that's going on you can get through it and you'll come out stronger on the other side. I promise."
Adrien didn't know why but he felt so reassured by her words, by her promise that everything would get better. He actually believed her. He nodded meekly at her, that broken smile still on his lips, when a car horn honked at them. They both spun their heads around to see Nino parked next to the curb waving at them through his car window. Adrien turned his head to look back at her and he suddenly felt sad for having to leave her. He never wanted to leave her.
"I hope you feel better." She said sweetly, looking back at him. Once again he started to get lost in those dazzling blue eyes and he lost his voice again. He cleared his throat, standing up with a small nod. "Y-yeah, thank you." He said before running off to Nino's car and getting inside. Adrien looked back at her once he had gotten into the passenger seat and saw that she was still standing there staring at him. She raised up her hand to wave at him and he returned it before Nino drove off.
"Who was that?" Nino asked once they had pulled away from the station. "She saved my life…" He breathed out as he stared up to the night sky. Even with the city lights drowning out most of the stars he could still see a small cluster that reminded him of the girl. And that's when it hit him. He didn't ask for her name.
-oOo-
Years past since that night but Adrien never forgot about it. He was 26 now and lived on his own in a pretty spacious apartment smack dab in the middle of Paris' nightlife. No longer was he a heartthrob model, instead he spent most of his time playing a guitar, writing lyrics, and providing vocals for a band he had formed with Nino and a few other friends from college. He had managed to finish going to school, applying for financial aid since his father cut him off from everything, but changed his major to music theory. His band wasn't incredibly famous, they weren't signed to a record label, but they were popular enough to occasionally tour through Europe and they made enough money off of their gigs and selling their music plus some merch online to maintain a decent way of living.
He had also drastically changed up his look. Maybe it was because he had spent so long looking perfect for his dad or just that he never had the freedom to wear what he wanted but stayed as far away as possible from designer clothes or even colors. Now it nothing but black with the style of his clothes changing depending on the weather or just how he felt. After experimenting with a few hairstyles of the years he settled for just a shaggy, tousled look that long enough to tie up into a small pony tail whenever it annoyed him. Sure he'd still get some bangs in his face but they were easy to brush back.
Adrien was pretty happy with the turnout, for the most part, but on those nights that he couldn't sleep and he was left alone with his thoughts he sometimes felt like it wasn't enough. There was still something missing, like he still felt empty, and he couldn't figure it out what it was. Okay, that was a lie, he knew exactly what it was but he'd practically given up on finding it. Not it, her.
Ever since that night he'd been searching for the girl he started calling Ladybug, because of the decoration on her phone case. But it was like she vanished off the face of the earth ever since she pulled him back from the train platform. Maybe she was just a figment of his imagination or a guardian angel? When he couldn't find her after a few years of searching he had tried to maybe rekindle that feeling he'd felt with her in other women but it never worked. One time he thought he'd gotten close but she ended up just cheating on him so yeah, he was to the point of just giving up on the idea of love.
There was a knock on the door that pulled Adrien out of the lull he'd been in since he got to his dressing room. "Yeah?" He called out and Nino poked his head through the door. "Hey, bro, we're on in five." His friend said and the blond nodded. For this show he was wearing a loose fitting, slightly torn up long sleeve shirt over tattered jeans and worn boots. Over his eyes he smeared black make up in a sort of mask shape, something all the members did to help them stand out, and around his neck was a leather choker with a golden bell attached to it. He went by the stage name Chat Noir, not wanting to have his real name tied to the band on the off chance they did make it big he sure as hell didn't want his father's name to gather any more fame. The bastard didn't deserve it.
To help play this part he'd usually also wear a belt that made him look like he had a tail along with some cat ears pinned to his hair like tonight. He grabbed his guitar from the corner it rested in and followed after Nino backstage to meet up with the rest of the band. Five minutes came and went, then they were walking out on stage raising their hands up to greet the throng of fans gathered at the venue.
Playing on stage or in their recording studio was one of the few times that Adrien really felt like he was fully alive again. He could completely lose himself in the music he was playing and felt like everything he struggled to say was just set free the moment his fingers touched a guitar string. It was better playing live, though, because he could feed off the energy of the crowd. He'd pour his heart out with the lyrics he belted out and his soul was sent flying with every chord he played and the crowd would throw it back at him tenfold. It was exhilarating, intoxicating even, and it served as the perfect distraction from the empty void he felt most of the time.
This night was no different. He'd run across the stage and jump of speakers, jump around with his bandmates, call out to the crowd, the whole shebang. Anything and everything he could to rile up the crowd further because that's what he needed tonight of all nights. Six years ago on this night he walked out of his perfect like. Six years ago he almost killed himself. And six years ago he was saved by the woman of his dreams but never asked for her name. So he needed to play like his life depended on it so he couldn't think about anything else than the music.
So when he looked out into the crowded room full to point of bursting with people the last thing he expected to see was stars staring back at him.
There was no way that was her, was it? He could still see her eyes in his dreams but when the band's set was over he hopped off the stage to try and find her. He searched the whole building up and down but she was gone. It didn't help that the whole time he looked for her he was being stopped by fans wanting his autograph or a picture or something. Couldn't they tell he was on a mission? He looked until most of the crowd went home and was left standing outside, guitar in hand, staring up at the sky, and glaring at it. It was taunting him. A constant reminder of the love that he could of had but lost because he was too dumb to not ask for a simple name.
"I'm such a fucking idiot." He muttered, walking off down the street. He didn't bother telling his band that he was leaving, if they needed him they'd call him. They were sort of used to him just randomly disappearing anyway. In a similar fashion to the night six years ago he was back to wandering Paris and although he was still very much depressed he wasn't as suicidal as he was back then. He considered going to a bar but despite his rocker image he didn't really have a taste for alcohol. So instead he just kept wandering until the very wee hours of the morning before finally deciding that he should probably head back home.
He was stopped by a poster that was taped up to a lamp post near his apartment. It wasn't there when he left that morning. Carefully he peeled it off the lamp post to read it over. It was a poster for a jazz singer? She was performing at some club a few blocks down from where he lived. As his eyes scanned the picture of the woman it depicted he felt a sense of longing. She had beautifully pale skin with cute pink freckles, a rounded nose and plump lips that were pulled up into a gentle smile. Why did that description sound familiar? He was a bit disheartened to see that in the image her eyes were closed. He raised a brow as he looked over the singer's name. Ladybug? The universe was clearly playing some sick prank on him. When was the show? Two nights from now? He stuffed the small poster into his pocket and continued on to his apartment.
Maybe he'd check it out. It was wishful thinking, he knew that, but it was something and that was better than nothing.
A/N: And I'm back with some angsty angst. The next chapter will be Marinette's introduction and then we can start getting into the juicy bits. So stay tuned! XOXO