Chapter One
Dorothy's Dilemma
(There is a black and white sky, this is the background for the words that appear:)
For as long as this story has been out, it has given laughter to whoever reads this and finds it funny. Time has been cruel to me by not giving me enough so I can make everyone laugh.
To those of you who have been with me from my start and have given me the inspiration to carry on...
I dedicate this to you.
(Wee see a girl running down a road. She has a big, fluffy, light colored cat running by her side and is carrying a basket in her hand. She is dressed in a checked, overall dress with a white blouse underneath and her hair is braided in pigtails. As she is running down the road, she turns around and we see her face. She quickly turns back around and keeps running. She stops and gets on her knees next to her cat.)
Hermione:
He isn't coming yet, Crookshanks. Did He hurt you?
(She picks up Crookshanks and holds her close.)
He tried to, didn't he? Come on. We'll go tell Uncle Arthur and Auntie Molly.
(Hermione starts running again and this time, she runs to a farm. She passes a cow and runs to a gate and opens it for her and Crookshanks to get through.)
Aunt Molly! Aunt Molly!
(She runs behind the chicken coop where Aunt Molly and Uncle Arthur are counting something.)
Aunt Molly, just listen to what Mr. Snape did to Crookshanks!
(Aunt Molly turns around to face Hermione.)
Aunt Molly:
Hermione, please! We're trying to count!
Hermione:
But, Aunt Molly, he hit her!
Uncle Arthur:
Don't bother us now, honey. This old, yet fascinating incubator's gone bad and we're likely to lose a lot of our owl chicks.
(Hermione picks up an owl chick and presses it against her face.)
Hermione:
Oh, the poor little things.
(She follows Aunt Molly, who has turned to count more owl chicks.)
Mr. Snape hit Crookshanks on the back with a stick just because he says she gets in her garden and chases her nasty, old dog every day! (Aunt Molly takes the owl chick Hermione is holding to her face and puts it in a box with other chicks.)
Aunt Molly:
Hermione, please!
(Aunt Molly runs back to the other owl chicks and Hermione follows.)
Hermione:
But she doesn't do it every day, just once or twice a week. She can't catch her old dog anyway! And now he says he's going to...
Aunt Molly:
Hermione! We're busy!
Hermione looks very disappointed.
Hermione
All right.
(Hermione slowly backs away, then begins walking away and looks back at her aunt and uncle, but keeps walking. Next we see three guys working on a beat up, old blue car. One is looking from the top, one is lifting it up and the other one is below it.)
Ron:
How's she coming?
Harry:
Take it easy.
(The car comes down Harry's finger. He takes it out quickly, takes his glove off and shakes his hand.)
You got my finger!
Ron:
Why don't you get your finger out of the way?
(They settle the car out and fix it just right. Ron gets a pail and starts to walk away.)
Ron:
There you are.
Harry:
Still sitting on the ground.
Right on my finger!
Ron:
It's a lucky thing it wasn't your head.
(Hermione comes up behind Ron.)
Hermione:
Ron, what am I going to do about Mr. Snape? Just because Crookshanks chases her old dog...
Ron:
Listen, honey, I got them gnomes to get in.
Harry:
Hermione, you ain't using your head about Mr. Snape. You'd think you didn't have any brains.
Hermione:
I have so got brains! You know I do! I've even been called the smarted girl of my age!
Harry:
Why don't you use them? When you come home, don't go by his place. Then Crookshanks won't get in her garden and you won't get in no trouble.
Hermione:
Harry, you just won't listen, that's all.
Harry:
Well, your head ain't made of straw, you know.
(Hermione walks away and Harry hammers on the wagon and ends up hammering his finger. He spins around and jumps up and down for a while. Hermione goes over to Ron, who is rounding up the gnomes. Hermione starts climbing on the gnome fence, balancing herself.)
Ron:
Listen, kid, are you going to let that old Snape heifer try and buffalo you? He ain't nothing to be afraid of. Have a little courage, that's all.
(Ron starts feeding the gnomes. Hermione is still balancing herself.)
Hermione:
I'm not afraid of him.
Ron:
The net time he squawks, walk up to her and spit in her eye. That's what I'd do!
(Hermione is balancing and loses her balance. She falls into the gnome pen and gnomes start crawling all over her. She starts shrieking and Ron hops over the fence to help her.)
Hermione:
Ron, get me out of here! Help!
(Ron gets Hermione and carries her out. Once he's at the fence he hands Hermione over to the other side to Harry. Ron sits down and beings wiping his face with his handkerchief, including the back of his neck.)
Hermione:
Why, Ron, you're just as scared as I am!
Harry:
You gonna let a little old gnome make a coward out of you?
Draco:
Look at you, Ron...
(Just then, Aunt Molly comes barging in.)
Aunt Molly:
What's all this jabber-wapping when there's work to be done? I know three farm hands who'll be out of a job before they know it!
Draco:
Well, Hermione was walking...
Aunt Molly:
I saw you tinkering with that contraption. You two get back to the wagon!
Draco:
Alright, Mrs. Weasley. Someday they're going to erect a statue to me in this town and...
(He lifts his finger up in the and brings his arm over his chest.)
Aunt Molly:
Don't start posing for it now.
(Harry starts laughing and pointing at Draco.)
Aunt Molly:
Here,
(To Harry.)
can't work on an empty stomach. Have some crullers. Just fried.
(Harry and Draco thank her and the race off.)
Ron:
Hermione toppled into...
Aunt Molly:
It's no place for Hermione around a gnome-sty! Now, you go feed those gnomes before they worry themselves into anemia!
Hermione:
Auntie Molly, do you know what Mr. Snape said he was going to do to Crookshanks? He says he was gonna...
Aunt Molly:
Now, Hermione, stop imagining things. You always get yourself into a fret over nothing. Now you just help up out today and find a place where you won't get into any trouble.
(Aunt Molly rushes off and leaves Hermione.)
Hermione:
Some place where there isn't any trouble.
(She looks at Crookshanks.)
Do you think there is such a place, Crookshanks? There must be. It's not a place you can get to by a little boat across a lake or a train that takes you across the land. It's far, far away...behind the moon...beyond the rain...
A/N: Hope you guys liked the new scrip/scrip idea. More will be up soon. I've just been so busy lately. I'm a high school senior and I've just start college! How exciting! I'll try to get the next chapter up soon.
Please review!!