I told you guys on Tumblr that I'm proud of this, but I'm actually just proud of me getting up at half past twelve to write this on my iPod. To be honest, this isn't very good, but I'm quite happy with what I've done since David Levithan inspired it. If you guys want me to write more of this and update my oneshot collection, please just tell me in a review. I'll try to write an apology letter on there as well, but for now, here's my contribution to the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. feelsfest after the most recent episode. ENJOY!
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING, YOU HEAR?
Providence seems empty and lonely to the both of them, especially when compared to the BUS or the Hub. It isn't the lack of activity or even the teammates that makes it so, but the difference in muteness that continued to bite away at them.
Neither of them care to admit it in the confines of their makeshift lab, but they quite like hearing the small breaks in other people's chatter compared to the seemingly everlasting inability of everyone to express anything through words.
He runs a hand over his face and sighs in frustration as his mind overanalyzes each event of the day as he always does. His worry for Skye and Ward mixed with his anger and sadness concerning May's departure created an unexplainable emotion, a void to be more precise, taking away all that he once knew for sure.
"Don't worry," He hears her voice, but it sounds so far away to his ears. Her face pops into his mind, but everything he believes he knew about her is now blurred. She was once the most definite thing in his life; but now, he couldn't even be sure. "I'm sure they're all fine."
He's far too tired to bother replying to her and continues to fiddle around with Happy. As far as he can tell, there are a pair of eyes scanning him better than any invention of his ever could, but he isn't aware of whom they belong to anymore.
When he'd been asked what was in the box merely hours ago, he had answered her name. He still would because while she was no longer the most stable thing in his life, she was still one of the most important. It had been that way for years and like he'd said, he hates change.
"We should check how much of our medical supplies should be replenished." She says it out loud, but he only half listens before giving a nod of consent. He's confident enough in his own abilities to know that if there was something particularly immportant that she needed to tell him, he'd be able to shift his attention to her quickly enough.
In the silence, he thinks of the way they'd held each other when he was rescued from HYDRA. Had she ever doubted that he would be loyal to their agency, to their cause? He knew that she never had because she believes in his goodness, just like she does with everyone else.
Yet, if he was faced with a situation wherein it was either the cause or her life, who would he remain loyal to? The very thought causes him to shudder and he slams his screwdriver onto the table, trying his best to push his thoughts aside and focus on what he's doing.
Before his mind can register it, he hears her voice again. Two minutes have passed and he was completely unaware of her presence until this moment. She never left the room, not like she said she was going to earlier. All she does is stand with her feet rooted to the spot, saying words that applied to their whole world tumbling down around them.
"Why didn't I think of it before?"
At first, he believes she's talking about the supplies or something about her work. Then he spots the way her body is quaking and the tears that can't quite make it out of her eyes. She's vulnerable and broken with no idea as to how she could be so daft as to not know how to fix the world. It just isn't like her to not know the answers.
He doesn't think about pulling her into his arms, but his body does the few things his mind can't. Change was something he not only hated, but feared greatly; but to hell with cliches, love overshadowed whatever fear wishes it could be. It's not nonexistent and he's fully aware of it, but he isn't so afraid anymore.
There are patterns being drawn onto the sleeve of her blazer that burn right under it and onto the skin of her forearm. It reminds them both of times when they cried as children and their mums would tell them to hush because everything would eventually be alright.
The world hasn't changed much since their childhood, not even with the events that occurred in the last few months. As much as he hates to admit it, it really was too late for certain things not to change. It's painful enough to accept, but having her around makes it okay.
He figures out that it's time to stop caring. She needs her partner and he needs his and the fact of the matter remains that they were still two pieces of a puzzle that continue to search each other out to fit together perfectly; a fact that they cannot alter.
His body continues to do things he isn't even thinking of, like crashing his lips onto her own. It's chaste and nothing more than a peck, but by the way her body tenses, he can tell that she has no idea what the hell is going on. He takes comfort in his courage and withdraws, completely unsure of the meaning of his actions.
Shyly, he lowers is head and continues his work with Happy and a screwdriver in either hand. He stares at both of them, but something in the air has shifted and it isn't quite enough to ground him the way it did a few minutes ago.
He can feel her looking at hm again, studying him even, and it's completely up to her to leave the room or to be the only thing keeping him afloat. The hands that made numerous gadgets aren't as steady as they were before, not the way they've always been. They're shaking and he doesn't know how much more betrayal from his body he can take.
"Here," He suddenly has another pair of hands on top of his own, anchoring him down. The contact is welcome and reassuring, everything that he needs it to be. "Let me help."
She doesn't tell him if he reciprocates his feelings because really, he had time to mull things over and it's only fair that she gets time to do the same. Yet, her hands guiding his tell them both that certain things can't possibly change.
Whatever they have isn't unscathed, but it's still intact and that's enough for both of them to keep hoping.