Set during mockingjay,what if it was different,katniss really loved peeta and really is pregnant. Rating may change. I own nothing! Big thanks to Susan Collins for creating an amazing trilogy

Katniss pov

It's the 5th time this week that I've disrupted the hospital by walking up screaming. The capitol has peeta,the one person who I can finally admit to loving,my piece of happiness,and they took that away. I rock myself back and forth crying until I feel an arm go around me.

It's prim. She wipes away the tears from my cheeks and pulls me into her and I cry into her chest. "It's okay katniss, Shhhh it's just a nightmare." Prim is always there to comfort me now since she works in the hospital. My mom does too,but she's always too busy to even think of me. Prim rocks me back and forth until I calm down then asks me if I'm okay.

"I don't think I'll be okay until peeta is back...It's so hard without him," I tell her. She nods and says,"I know,but they'll get him soon,I'm sure of it. He'll be back before you know it."

"Thanks little duck,"I say and kiss her forehead. She smiles at me and then says,"I have to go,but I'll come back as soon as I can. I love you."

"I love you too little duck."

I attempt to go back to sleep,but sleep is almost impossible these days. I look down at the bracelet around my wrist and twirl it. It says 'mentally unstable' and I laugh because that's just the beginning of everything.

It should say 'Victor' because that's really what it is. All the victors have this problem because of what we had to go through. We all have ptsd,and to top it off I'm pregnant,but nobody knows. The hospital was so caught up in my injuries and mental health that they totally skipped over it. They all thought that was a lie,even peeta thought he was just being helpful,but in truth I really am.

I'm planning on telling prim,but not until I have to. I sit there twirling the bracelet until prim comes back,this time she has my mom and haymitch. "Morning sweetheart,"haymitch says. My mom smiles sadly and says,"the hospital thinks you are well enough to live in a compartment,but they want you to be with supervison. Prim and I are constantly working,so they recommended haymitch,just until you are a little better,then you can come to our compartment."

"Okay,"I say quietly. Prim helps unhook me from the machines as my mom fills out some papers. They hand me folded up grey clothes and leave so I can change. As I put on the shirt, I notice a small hard bump,and I'm afraid it might be too big and they'll notice. Luckily the shirt is loose. The door opens but this time it's only prim.

"I made sure to get you a bigger shirt,"she whispers.

"How-"

"I was the one who changed you when you got here, they wouldn't let anyone else do it because if you were to wake up,you would freak out,"she says,"I noticed the bump,but don't worry I haven't told anyone. Not even mom. And when nobody was looking,I checked on it,and it's okay,katniss."

"Thank you,"I say hugging her.

The door opens and my mom and haymitch walk back in. I let go of prim and then walk with haymitch over to his compartment. He is only a few rooms away from prim and my mom. When I get in,the things that I got from district 12 are in there.

"There's a room right through that door. That's where you can sleep. Prim put your things in here for you. I'll just be over here," he says and walks to the couch. "Thank you,haymitch,"I say and walk into the room.

I head over to the shower and step in. The warm water cascades over my tense skin. I look down at the bump again and that's when the fear sets in. How can I handle this when I'm falling apart without peeta? What if he never comes back and I am left to take care of this kid alone? I don't think I can do that.

I wrap a towel around myself and walk into my room. I change into a grey tank top and grey sweats. Everything is grey here and it makes me uneasy. I poke my head out the door and say,"good night haymitch."

"Night sweetheart,"he grumbles. He's having a hard time with the whole no alcohol thing. I climb into the bed and curl up in the blankets. I wonder what they're doing to him right now. I hope he's okay. I hope they aren't hurting him,but I know in truth the opposite of that is probably happening. All these thoughts wander my brain and soon I'm crying into the pillow.

I soon drift off to sleep into the void blackness of my nightmares...

"Katniss! Katniss!"Peeta screams. It's pitch black,but his screams echo through this place. Then I hear snow' s laughter and a baby's cry.

"Please don't kill her! Please! Kill me instead,but just don't kill her!"Peeta pleads. I run to where his voice is coming from and then it changes. I'm in snow's mansion. The smell of roses and blood make me sick. That's when I come across a room. But not just any room. It's a room filled with roses covered in blood. When I look at where the blood is coming from,its sickening! The blood drips down from peeta's body,and in his arms is our baby.

"Peeta!" I cry into his chest. Then I cup my baby's face. It's cold and lifeless. I hear the laughter and I know I have to kill him. I wipe the tears from my eyes as I run down the hall. I open door after door but I come upon the same scene. Peeta and my baby. Eventually the house ends and I'm left in a black pit once again.

I shoot up screaming and crying. I must have been thrashing around because the duvet was thrown on the floor,my pillows everywhere. I look down at the tight shirt that rode up. The small bump very visible. I rum my hand over it and cry.

"At least you're okay."

The door swings in and haymitch runs in. "Are you o-"He stands there in shock,because I didn't have enough time to cover my stomach. He opens his mouth,then closes it,then opens it again.

"What the hell!"is all he can manage.

"Haymitch I-"

"No! How could you two be so irresponsible! You think this is fucking okay? You are in a war, how could you do that to that poor thing. You two just couldn't keep it in your pants,huh? I swear when that boy gets back-"

I let him rant until he's done. Then his features soften and he says,"come here,sweetheart,"calmly. I get up and he wraps his arms around me and I cry into his shoulder. "I thought he was just trying to save you." He says.

"He doesn't know,"I admit.

We sit on the bed and he asks,"so how the hell did this even happen?"

"It was a little bit after the victory tour. I didn't find out until the day before the quarter quell. I didn't tell him because I didn't want him to have another reason to keep me alive. He needed to get out of that arena,not me."I say.

"Haymitch,You have to get him back!"I cry.

"I'll see what I can do,"he says. I nod and he hugs me again. "Who else knows?"

"Only prim."

"You can't hide this forever katniss,"he says.

"I know,"I sigh.

"I'll see what I can do tomorrow. Get some sleep,sweetheart,"he says getting up and leaving. I try to go back to sleep but the nightmare still wracks my brain,so I know I won't get much sleep tonight.

A/N tell me what you think?!