I was waking up slowly, my head clouded beyond belief. Everything was still dark, but at least now, I was alert. I felt like I was forgetting something...something important... "Please lord, let him wake up. He could be President, he could change the world. Let him have another chance at life, please. Amen." a girly, high pitched voice said with a sigh. I could hear footsteps nearing me...well, my bed. It suddenly occurred to me that I was in a hospital. But I couldn't remember why...
"Good morning, Elijah! I know you can't see, but it's me, Darcy. I come here everyday around this time, remember?" she sighed suddenly. "Today's my last day volunteering here. Tomorrow, I'll be in Kenya." She sighed again. I was aware of something on my forehead, something thick. "Please lord, please. Let me meet this stranger. Please. Amen." I felt uncomfortably alert now. My eyelashes flickered open slowly. The light was shocking, after being in the dark for so long... A dark curtain of hair hung over most of my eyelids, nearly covering my eyes. Whoa, what? I felt a frenzy of panic. I don't remember having this long hair. I glanced down the length of my hospital bed, my sock-clad feet sticking out of the bottom of the bed. I'm not this tall, am I? Wait, what? My stomach churned, and for a moment, I feared that I'd woken up in the wrong body.
A tall, slender older girl with long, shiny brown hair stood by my bed, eyes closed, hands pressed together, pointed at the ceiling. I took in a sharp breath, trying desperately to understand what was going on in the strange world I'd just woken up into. And when did I leave it? The distant memories floating in my head didn't make sense. I was missing something... The girl turned to face my hospital bed swiftly. "Elijah!" she exclaimed, like we were old friends. "Thank you, lord!" she prayed again. Were we? No, I'd never be friends with anyone that perky. My name sounded weird, like it didn't belong to me. "Elijah!" someone sobbed in my memories. I couldn't figure it out... I stared up at this girl.
"I'm Darcy Edwards," she said. I was silent. Her hand was stretched towards me, as if asking for me to shake it. I began to reach out my hand to her, but paused. Whoa, my hand got much bigger. "What the fuck?" I whispered, staring at my hand. Even my voice sounded unfamiliar and wrong. "What's wrong?" Darcy asked. I ran a hand over my hair, trying to calm down." I don't understand," I muttered. "Oh, the hair? Yeah, you were out for awhile, and it grew really fast. The nurses wanted to cut it, but I told them not to," she grinned at me, like she'd done me some huge favor. "No, I mean...What happened? How long was I out?" I asked, breathing heavily. She took a deep breath and she suddenly looked somber.
"About 2 months, Elijah." My heart raced. Mom. Dad. Where were they? And where was... "You went into an emotional coma after a funeral," she informed me softly. Julia. Everything came together. The truth, the memories- they crashed down on me, smashing against my head. The call from the hospital, the funeral, and then...nothing. That must've been when I fell into the coma. "Oh my god," I whispered. I held my head in my too large hands, my too long hair falling over my face. Tears streamed down my face. "Julia. It was all my fault," I sobbed suddenly, feeling overwhelmed with emotion. Darcy placed a small hand on my head, stroking my hair. "Elijah, calm down. Everything's gonna be ok," she whispered. "It's Eli," I snapped through my tears. She continued trying to comfort me. "Stop," I hissed. She swiped her hand off my head quickly, and moved to sit on my hospital bed.
"I killed her. It was all my fault," I sobbed even louder, not caring if I looked like a crybaby. "What?" Darcy whispered. "I said...those things to her...she rode away...and- and...got hit by a car," Tears were pouring down my face in buckets. Darcy said nothing. "I should die. I don't deserve to live. I'm a killer," I moaned, tears pouring down my face in buckets. "No," she whispered. I looked up, through my tears and hair, at the tortured expression on her face. "What do you know?" I snapped. She took a deep breath, looked into my eyes, then started.
"Last year. I went to a ski party with my boyfriend...and I got date-raped by some creep. I don't even know who." she admitted. I stared straight into her hurt brown eyes. "I tried it- I tried to kill myself." she looked down at her lap, ashamed. "I'm sorry?" I apologized unsurely, trying to calm my heavy breathing. She stood abruptly. "Eli, this is a gift. Life is a gift, and this is your second chance. Some of the nurses here- they thought you were dead. But you're alive Elijah, you're here! Julia- she'd want you to live. She'd want you to be happy, to live for her too," I took a deep breath.
"Julia..." I sobbed louder. Darcy hugged me tightly. "Please Eli, please. Stay. It'll be worth it, I promise," she whispered into my ear. Tears slid down my face and onto the shoulder of her shirt. I held on tight to this girl, crying like I'd never cried before. After awhile, she pulled away. I realized she had tears in her eyes. "What's that?" I asked, pointing to a stack of papers on my side table. "Transfer papers. You're gonna be going to Degrassi," she grinned, eyes watery. "De...what?" I stuttered. "Degrassi. I go there, too. Well, I went there. I'm leaving for Kenya soon, and you're going to be here for awhile in counseling. But you'll start at Degrassi next year," she tried to grin. I fell back against my hospital bed and closed my eyes.
"Ohmygod, are you going back into a coma?" she asked urgently, gripping the edge of the hospital bed. "N-no, I'm still here, sadly," Degrassi? What the hell? I don't want to go; I don't want everything to change. A new school, new friends...No one could ever replace Julia. Ever. I couldn't imagine being in love with anyone but her. I couldn't imagine gazing into someone else's creamy brown eyes, kissing someone else's soft red lips... "I just want everything to go back to the way it used to be," I whispered. "Elijah," Darcy soothed. "I don't even recognize myself," I muttered with a sad laugh, holding up my large hands, just staring at them. Darcy frowned.
"Do- do you want me to call a nurse? They can weigh you and measure your height. Oh, and I can get a nurse to come cut your hair, too. And if you need food, or maybe a sponge bath, or a nurse can bring you to the cafeteria for a change of scenery, or to talk to one of the therapists here..." she rambled. I just stared up at her, feeling sick. She just stared at me for a long moment, sighed sympathetically, and then ran out in the hallway. I was pounced upon by a doctor, telling me I'd grown 2 inches and lost 8 pounds, and a fleet of nurses that washed my face and trimmed my hair. "Thank you, ladies," Darcy smiled as they left. "That's Beth, Ann, and Lynn. Beth used to work at a hair salon, and Ann and Lynn are new here," she informed.
"Wonderful," I answered sarcastically, falling back onto the bed. Darcy frowned. I could see clearly, and it felt good to be clean again, but all that was lost on me. "You look just like you did when you came here," she assured. "Just 2 inches taller and 8 pounds lighter," she said lightly. "Haha," I answered dully. Though it was true. I did look like the Eli that ran into the ER, the one that burst into tears and fell to the ground when he found out Julia died. I still looked like the Eli that collapsed in the grass outside of the cemetery after everyone left the grave, falling into the coma, after the cars and her family members left. I was still that Eli, the one that killed her. I fell back down on the bed, and began crying again. Darcy took a deep breath. "Eli," she whispered, sitting back down on the bed. She glanced up at the clock, then back at me. Lightly, she touched my hair, cut to just above my eyebrows, like it had been before, and glanced at my hands, which were normal size for a teenage boy, but strangely big to me.
"I have to leave soon," she sighed. I closed my eyes briefly, trying to organize my thoughts. "Elijah, you listen to me, ok? Stay. Stay alive. Go to Degrassi and start over. Have fun. It's your life, Eli, and God's giving you another chance," she said. I didn't have the heart to tell her I'm an atheist. Darcy spoke so passionately, staring straight into my eyes, clearly getting choked up. "I have a sister there. Maybe you two could be friends," she offered. Tears glistened in her eyes. "Stay alive. It'll get better, I promise," she said, so fiercely wise and eloquent. Tears glossed over her brown eyes. She pulled me in for a tight hug, and then stood. "Trust me, staying alive will be worth it," she repeated. And with that, she gave me one final, hopeful smile, picked up her big green bag, and left. I stared up at the ceiling, wondering if maybe, it would be...
1 year later...
"I can't wait for you to meet her!" Clare gushed with childish delight. I smirked. "You'll love her," Clare assured, still grinning. Her blue eyes danced with delight. "Really? Because I only see one girl I love, and she's right in front of me," I answered wryly. Clare smiled shyly. I wrapped my arms around her thin waist and pulled her closer to me. "Eli, not in front of my house! Mom's home, remember?" Clare stumbled nervously for words, how cute. "I don't think she'll mind," I answered. Slowly, I leaned down to press my lips to hers. She placed her hands on my neck, parting her lips, allowing my tongue to slide in easily.
"Clare!" someone squealed nearby, climbing out of a cab. "Hey!" Clare exclaimed, jumping away from the kiss and running to hug her sister. "Darcy, this is my boyfriend, Eli," Clare grinned. Darcy looked at me with raised eyebrows, and I instantly recognized her. The kind volunteer from the day I awakened from a 2 month long coma stood before me. "Hi Eli," she smiled slowly. A smirk spread across my face. Of course Darcy and Clare were related. I'd heard Clare mention her name many times, but I guess I'd never made the connection. "I'll go get Mom," Clare was obviously excited. Before she ran in, she pecked me quickly on the lips. She held my hand as we kissed, and let it go as she walked back, the touch of her fingers lingering on my hands. I grinned at her, watching as she left.
"So Elijah," Darcy started as soon as Clare was inside. With a huge grin, she asked, "Was it worth it?" I quickly thought of my life since I woke up from the coma. Clare, Adam, Mom, Dad... Hanging with Adam, going on dates with Clare, eating dinner with Mom and Dad at the steak house...And then Fitz, almost stabbing me. In that moment, I realized how much my life was worth. How much I'd be miss, how much I'd miss everyone and everything, and how much I wanted to keep living. My eyes widened, my smirk fell, and a huge, hearty grin took its place.
"Absolutely."