Lyrics aren't entirely relevant to the story but I listened to Rise Against's 'Hero of War' whilst writing the majority of this in case you want background music :)
little-miss-twilighter
xx
Love.
It means something different to everyone. For some, it's something that their life is full of, it's what they see when they look into a lovers eyes. Others spend their lives searching for it, looking for the person who will love them the same way. Parents have unconditional levels of it for their children, even when they turn their back on them. Then there are those unfortunate few who never encounter it at all. They spend their lives, looking and hoping that something or someone will mean something to them- but they never find it. And some people are lucky enough to experience it throughout their entire lives.
I can pinpoint the exact moment that the course of my life became written out for me. I remember it as if it happened yesterday. The year was 1975 and I was 4 years old, playing in my tree house in the back garden that my dad had built for me before he left again. I could see my mom through the large open door, laughing and talking with her best friend Renee and her husband Charlie. She was 8 months pregnant, her first baby and my mom couldn't have been happier for her. I remember being excited over the fact I would have a new baby to play with- the Swans were around at our house pretty much every day and so it seemed natural that the baby would be as well.
I turned back around to play again after noticing my mom move towards the phone that must have been ringing. That's when I heard the sound that signalled the end of my innocence. A cry. My mother's cry. A loud, ear piercing cry of pure agony that radiated from the house and through the open door, up to me. I ran down towards the house, seeing her sitting on the floor, her hands buried in her face. Renee was on the floor next to her, she was comforting my mom but she was crying too. I looked up at the only other adult in the room- confused as to why my mom was sitting shattered and sobbing on the floor.
"Uncle Charlie, why is mommy crying?"
He gave me a small smile, taking my hand and leading me upstairs to my parent's bedroom. I remember being excited; I was never normally allowed in without mommy or daddy. I looked around at the pictures, my father in his uniform, smiling proudly with his comrades. His display of various medals and awards were lined up on his desk and his spare uniform hung perfectly and with pride of place in the corner. Charlie patted the seat on the bed next to him and I clambered up, holding my favourite picture of daddy- it's what I did whenever I missed him while he was away.
"Edward, you know that your daddy loves you lots yes?"
"Of course I do Uncle Charlie- he tells me that all the time! When I spoke to him yesterday the last thing he said was that he loved me"
He sighed and we sat in silence for a few seconds.
"You remember Aro, yes?"
"Yeah- he's daddy's boss. A general"
"That's right little man, and he cared for your dad as well"
"Was it him who made mommy cry?"
"Yes, Edward, it was Aro on the phone." He took a deep breath, turning to me and looking at me sadly "Your daddy won't be coming home, Edward"
That didn't make any sense. Daddy was supposed to be coming home in a week, the day of my 5th birthday and mommy was planning a big welcome home and happy birthday party. And daddy promised me he would be there to cut the cake with me.
"But...he's coming to my party so of course he'll be home, Uncle Charlie"
He shook his head slowly and I remember getting annoyed
"No! He promised me! Daddy always does what he promises, why did he not do this one?"
I started crying at that point, tears of frustration. It took my mom and the Swan's another three hours of explaining before I understood. Daddy was dead. He wasn't coming home. He wouldn't be at any more of my birthdays.
I learnt later on that my father had died in one of the last battles in the Vietnam War. One of his fellow soldiers had fallen and my father was already in the safe zone but he went back for him. He succeeded, carrying his friend to the rest of the allies, but he was shot while caring to him. He was awarded a medal for bravery and my mom insisted that I keep it as something else to remember him by. My father was a brave man, an honourable man and I was immensely proud to be his son- he inspired me. I realised soon after he died that I wanted to be a solider to, to follow in his footsteps and aim to achieve the same thing he wanted to- to protect and free innocent people
The day I met Isabella Swan for the first time, I was four years and one day old. My mom was still visibly hurting over my father but she insisted that we go and congratulate Charlie and Renee. I remember looking down into her crib and being amazed at how tiny she was. I spent most of my time then playing with Bella, telling her all about my amazing daddy even though she couldn't talk yet. I liked to pretend she could listen and sometimes, when I looked in her eyes, I really thought she could understand me- right from the start.
As we grew up, we only became closer. We were each other's best friend and knew pretty much all there was to know about the other. We were always there for each other. We understood each other more than anybody else ever could. Our parents assumed we would be like brother and sister but we became something closer than that, something more. I would look out for her, protect her and act as an older brother would- but I always did it as I wanted to, not because I had to. I wanted her to be safe; I wanted her to be mine.
She was there for me as well, whenever I needed her. Every year on my father's anniversary, she came with me to his grave and laid her own bunch of flowers. She stood by my side, silently crying as I silently thought about my father. I thought of how proud he would have been of me, how pleased he would be that I was finishing his mission. As I looked at the beautiful girl next to me, my heart ached at the fact my father would never get to meet her. He would never see her sweet smile, hear the pearls of her laughter or be there for her in the times she needed a father.
The day Charlie Swan died was engraved in my mind as both the best and worst day of my life. When my own father died, I could always draw some comfort from the fact that he had died for something, his life had not been gone in vain and for that I found some small shred of happiness. Charlie though, was shot in a case of mistaken identity as he walked down his own street. His was a pointless death and it almost tore my Bella apart.
I was 24 at the time, in my own apartment a few miles out of town when my mom called me to tell me about Charlie. I dropped the phone in shock, crying out with agony. It was like my father dying all over again- only this time I was old enough to understand the pain. What I felt though was nothing compared to what Bella was feeling and after the shock began to wear off the tiniest amount, I thought of her. I picked up the phone to call her, when I heard a desperate hammering on my door- Bella.
I opened the door, shirtless and in my tracksuit bottoms. My heart almost ripped apart at the sight in front of me. Her face was red, stained with the tears that were still streaming down her face. She was wearing pyjamas, looking as if she had run straight here. She was shaking uncontrollably, the sounds of her sobs ripping through me as she flew into my arms. Burying her face in my shoulder, I picked her up completely; holding her like you would a small child. I kicked the door closed and lay her down on my bed; I tried to prise her off but she still clung to me, sobbing out all the agony that was she feeling. We lay like that for hours, her crying and denying while I tried in vain to tell her it would be okay. I whispered sweet things in her ear, stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. Lying here on my bed, mourning a terrible loss, we were completely exposed to each other.
She drifted off for an hour or so, and I still held onto her. I cried then too, at the fact my Uncle Charlie was gone and at the fact my Bella was hurting so much. When she woke up, she saw me silently crying and gripped her hair in her hands.
"I'm so sorry Edward. I shouldn't have come, you need to deal with this too"
She started to roll over, intending to run from the room. I grabbed her arm as she went.
"Don't be silly, Bella. I've always been here for you and I have no intention of leaving you now"
She rolled back over to face me. The room was silent, and her face was achingly close to mine. I could feel the attraction between us as we lay facing each other, our noses almost brushing. We were both so open now, so vulnerable. My fingers were twitching, wanting nothing more than to just touch her- but I couldn't. Almost as if she could hear my doubts, she edged her face even closer to mine so that I was completely lost in her bottomless brown eyes.
"Are you sure, Bella?"
"More than anything"
It seemed...right. The day that Charlie's life ended was the day ours could begin. One life flowing straight into the other. I knew in my heart that this was always going to happen; it just took a tragedy to make us both see what had been there all along. Her breath washed over me, and I inhaled and closed my eyes as we both moved hesitantly forward to close the final, small distance between us. Soft, sweet lips met mine and they moved against each other in perfect synchronisation as her hand coiled itself around my wait. Our tongues danced and she rubbed small circles on my back as she moved closer to me. We both knew what was going to happen if we didn't stop but neither of us pulled away, silently confirming our deepest desires, our need. Her hands ran up and down my chest. I worked out for at least 3 hours a day to prepare myself for army life and my body showed this. My arms were muscular and my abs were perfectly toned. She seemed to like this, as she met my lips with more hunger than was there before. I pulled her nightdress down to her waist but she slid out of it completely, lying beneath me wearing nothing. She giggled. It sounded so happy after the hours she had spent sobbing over her father. I felt happiness knowing that it was me who was helping to make her that little bit better
"You look so shocked"
I couldn't lie, I was. Last time I had seen Bella like this, she was 2 and I was 7. Now...she had a figure, a shape, curves. Tentatively, I ran my finger from her navel up to her chest and noticed a trail of goose bumps followed my path. I stroked her breast and elicited the sweetest sound I had ever heard as she moaned my name. She kissed me again, sliding off my trousers and blinking rapidly when she saw I had nothing underneath. Our cheeks brushed as I asked her a second time; if she was really sure she wanted to do this. Answering me with a kiss, I knew that she wanted to and I pulled out a condom from the drawer, rolling it on before telling her that I loved her. The words just sounded right and when she said it back to me, my heart swelled with happiness.
As our two bodies came together for the first time, we both gasped with the shock. Neither of us was new to this, but this time felt different than all the others we had talked about. Whatever I thought love was, I was wrong. This was real love- I knew it deep down in my centre and with every fibre of my being. We joined together time and time again and when we were done, we both fell asleep in each other's arms.
That was how the worst day of my life also became the best.
On my 26th birthday, I signed myself up to be an officer. Bella went with me, we had been dating for 18 months and she was fully supportive of my decision as she knew how much it meant to me. My whole life had been building up to this moment; I went to college for many years to get my degree in American History and spent endless hours pushing my body to its physical limits.
A year later, I graduated as an Officer. As I stood on the stage in my uniform, watched by the two people I loved the most in the world, I truly felt like my father's son. I could imagine him standing with Bella and my mom, his heart swelling with pride as his only son took an oath to protect his country. After the ceremony, I ran straight into Bella's arms. She embraced me fiercely, but was extra careful to avoid creasing my uniform.
"I'm so proud of you, Edward. I love you"
"I love you, too"
My mother then came over, the tears falling down her cheeks. I knew she would be thinking of my father today more than ever, how much she wished he was here to see this.
"You're father would have been so proud Edward"
She said the words as she threw her arms around my neck. I hugged her tightly, I was the only family she had left and I knew that watching me risk my life everyday in the worst places on Earth was going to be hard for her. Her love for me overrides those thoughts though, I knew that she would want me to make my father proud and do whatever I needed to do. I looked over her shoulder to see that Bella had gone.
"She went to find Renee, love"
Mom must have seen my face. She looked up at me with a deep expression on her face, but her eyes were smiling brightly.
"You really truly love her. I can see it in your eyes and hers"
"I do mom, I really do"
She sighed then, sinking a little. I knew what she was getting to.
"You're going to be away from her for so long, Edward. It will be hard"
"I know that, mom. I knew that right from the start"
"Marry her Edward; give yourself a reason to come home. Give her a reason not to run- to wait. "
My eyes widened. Marriage? I loved Bella with all my heart, more than anybody had ever loved anyone before. Marrying her had never occurred to me though, I knew that I was never going to want anybody else but I saw no need to quantify and make our love official- until now. Deep down, I knew my mom was right. I smiled wildly as images of Bella in a wedding dress filled my mind. Her promising herself to me....forever. I saw that mom was smiling, knowing that I had made up my mind.
"Thank you, mom"
With a quick kiss on the cheek, I ran past her and into the large crowd to find Bella. I couldn't wait to ask her, to make it official as soon as I could. She was near the back, with her mom. When she saw me coming, her face lit up and as I kissed her, she sighed with content.
"Can we go somewhere?"
Although looking confused, she nodded and I took her hand as I led her to the car. We spent the journey to my apartment in comfortable silence, neither of us seeing the need for unnecessary conversation. Once we were inside, I told her to make herself at home while I popped out. Looking even more confused than she did before, she laughed and kissed me- telling me not to be too long. I got back in the car and drove straight into town, stopping outside the jewellers. I knew I was doing this too quickly, I really should plan it, make a day of it but at the same time, I wanted it to be done- now. Looking at the engagement rings, one stood out above the rest. It was a simplistic design, a single diamond set in gold. It was simple but beautiful and knew that it would be perfect for Bella. Once it was mine, I drove back home as fast as I could, stopping on the way to pick up some flowers. She answered the door as soon as I rang the bell, her eyes widening when she saw the flowers in my hand. I handed them over to her, leading us over to the couch. She sat down with the flowers in her hand and inhaled deeply. Whatever they smelled of, it couldn't have been as sweet as her strawberry scent.
"They're beautiful, Edward. But this is your day- I should be buying you a present"
I shook my head
"No, Bella- I want this to be our day. It needs to be special for both of us."
I took a deep breath, sliding onto one knee and Bella's hands flew to her mouth.
"Bella, I want to spend this and every other day of my life with you. I know it won't be easy- I will be gone for so much of the year but the precious days I am home, I want to spend with you. It won't be easy and I can't promise you that you won't be lonely but I want to try anyway. I love you so much Bella, will you marry me?"
"Of course"
She whispered, tears running down her face as she pulled me in for a kiss. I took the ring out of my pocket afterwards, sliding it onto her finger. A single tear escaped when I saw it shining brightly on her finger, it looked so perfect. It was a symbol of our commitment, our love to each other and every time I looked at it between our engagement and the wedding, my heart swelled with anticipation and love.
Four days after our proposal, I received news from the army. I was being sent away in two weeks and would be gone for three months. Bella and I decided to marry before then, to be man and wife before I left her side. Our wedding was a simple affair, conducted in the small local church. Bella looked stunning in her mother's dress and I wore my army uniform. We knew that we wouldn't have time for any kind of exotic honeymoon since I was being dispatched in three days. Instead, Bella took two days off work and we checked into a hotel just to be alone.
The day I shipped off the first time was incredibly difficult. I stood amongst my fellow soldiers, saying our first -and hardest- goodbyes to our loved ones. Bella had been in my arms for the past 10 minutes and the thought of not holding her for another three months almost made me reconsider. I knew I couldn't though, I swore to do this and I wanted to do this. I was a soldier-it ran in my blood.
"I will call you as often as I can, I promise"
She smiled at me,
"I know you will. I will write to you as well. We will never be far apart"
"I love you"
We both said it at the same time and laughed quietly afterwards. Unable to help myself, I pushed my lips against hers. My tongue ran along her bottom lip, preserving her sweet taste in my memory. Our mouths moved together and I closed my eyes to immerse myself in the pure bliss that was kissing my wife. It ended too quickly though, the shouting orders from our commander pulling us away and into the unknown. With one last "I love you" I turned away from the woman I loved.
Between the ages of 27-37, I spent a total of 10 years serving my country in faraway places. And the whole time, I was away from my wife. I treasured every one of the one in four months that I spent with her, we were together the whole time I was home and neither one of us would have had it any other way. We spent our days out and about in the city and our nights making love, making up the lost months we had. It was hard, but we both adapted to being apart for so long.
It wasn't all downsides though. I made some true friends in the army, the closest of which was one Major Jasper Whitlock. He and I met on our first tours, bonding over the fact we were both newlyweds with military fathers. As the years progressed, we became closer- almost like brothers. I risked my life for him on many occasions and he had done the same for me.
The sun burned brightly in the clear sky, all of us sweating from the intense heat that, despite spending years in these climates, our bodies still weren't used to. Our desert uniforms clung to us like a second skin and our boots only served as insulators. Those inside the tanks were luckier, they were slightly cooler, but we foot patrols spent hours walking in the heat and humidity. The locals thrived and bustled around us, going about their daily lives and trying to ignore our presence. The streets were teeming with people and it was times like these when it was the most dangerous- the enemy could be lurking anywhere in a large crowd. I was walking up front with Jasper, the two of us leading the patrol through the town, to make our presence known.
"This is such a waste of time, none of these people care if we're here or not and I'll be damned if there at all grateful for all the bastards we've locked up for 'em"
Jasper's Texas accent was unique among our patrol and even after many years of serving with him, it still made me smile a little.
"Now, now Jasper. You know we don't do this job for praise and attention, we do it because we want to protect people"
"Well I sure as hell didn't sign up to walk around deserts for months at a time. Where are all the bad guys?! It's like Alice always says-"
I never heard what Alice always said because a loud explosion came from nearby, the sound ringing in our ears. A thick column of smoke was rising a few streets away and people began screaming in panic, trying to get as far away as possible. I shouted commands at the men, leading them over to the bomb site. We ran as fast as we could, realising with horror that the explosion happened at the American Embassy. A burning car wreckage was alone in the centre of the street and bodies were lying all down the road. Some had burn marks, missing limbs and all of them had blood still oozing from the wounds that had killed them. The ones that had survived were screaming in agony, begging in a foreign language. Men, women, and children- nobody was spared. It was chaos and the sight of it made my blood boil.
Protecting people like these was what both my father and I wanted to do.
I ran to the nearest crying person, a woman of about 30 with severe head injuries and a broken leg. Blood coated her face and she was screaming about her son. I couldn't focus on that though, I needed to keep her alive. As I tried to stop the bleeding, I heard the sounds of gunfire from behind me and saw my men shooting hostiles less than 50 feet away. Leaping up and praying the woman I was treating would be okay, I started firing. Three of them went down straight away and two others turned on me. I ducked behind the burning car, but not fast enough as one of the bullets grazed my side. I fell to the ground, the pain overwhelming and intense and I couldn't help the cry of agony that came from my mouth. I could taste the blood in my mouth and felt the smash as my head hit the ground. The last thing I remembered before blacking out was of Jasper leaning over me, telling me to "stay away from the fucking light"
I could hear voices, far away and distant. They were all blurred, it sounded like a lot of them but one stood out more than the rest. It rang clear in my ears and I heard every word, every cry. I struggled to open my eyes, to return to consciousness and stop the sobs that were causing her pain. Fighting against the blackness, I felt my body slowly return to me. I could just about twitch my fingers and toes but opening my eyes was still impossible.
"Doctor! He's moving!"
I felt a pressure on my hand, squeezing tightly and I did the same back, only with one third of the strength Bella had. I heard her gasp as I finally recovered the ability to open my eyes. It felt like we had been apart for years even though it was only three months. She looked different, her hair was a different style and her clothes hung loosely from her body. I didn't like the fact she had lost so much weight, or the fact that there were bags under her eyes that looked like they had been there as long as I had been gone. I reached up to hold her face and her eyes brimmed over with tears again as she bent down to kiss the top of my forehead.
"Oh thank God. Don't ever scare me like that again, Edward! I thought I lost you"
"I will always try to stay alive for you Bella"
My voice was raspy, so quiet she had to put her face right next to mine, brushing against the stubble that had accumulated in my weeks of unconsciousness. She heard me though, and rather than say any unnecessary words, she just kissed me.
It took a year of rehabilitation before I was back to full health. The doctors were amazed that it was such a short space of time; they weren't expecting me to be completely independent for at least two and half years. I was warned not to rush straight back into service though, and although I wanted nothing more than to finish what I had started, I reluctantly agreed to spend six months at home. I was only 33, I still had many more years to do my duty for my country and right now I had a duty to my wife- stay with her and make sure she got back to being the beautiful woman she was before I left.
Some of those days were the happiest of my life. Bella had taken a job as an English teacher in my absence and had saved enough to book a surprise holiday. Our trip to Italy was only a week but I enjoyed every second. Preferring the simpler things, we were staying in a small town in the heart of the breathtaking Italian countryside. The fourth night was by far the best. We planned to go out for dinner and to watch an opera in the nearest town. While Bella was deciding what to wear, I lounged on the bed. I heard the sound of her clearing her throat and I sat up. My eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. She stood in the en-suite doorway, turning and showing off all angles of her new dress. She looked amazing, since I had come back; she had been eating more, put back on the weight that made her the perfect shape. The dress was deep blue and clung to her curves. It had a low neckline and reached mid thigh- just the sight of her wearing it made me want to lock her up in the room and never let her out.
"What do you think?"
I flew across the room, pushing back against the door, burying my lips in her neck and letting my hands run all over her body. She hitched herself up and wrapped her legs around my waist, coiling her arms around my neck as she pulled my face up to hers. Our mouths smashed together and our bodies pressed against each other eagerly. Breaking away for air that I needed but did not want, I moved my lips to her earlobe as I nibbled gently
"I think we will be staying inside tonight"
The week after we got back from Italy, I received a phone call. It was my General- they were calling me back. It had only been three months but they were desperately short of men on the front line and they had cleared it with my doctors. They were shipping me out tomorrow- for 6 months. I told this to Bella and she smiled bravely, telling me she was pleased that I would be going back to do the job I loved so much. She couldn't hide it from me though; I knew how much it killed her to have me away for such long periods of time. That night, after we had made the sweetest love, I woke up to find her silently sobbing. She hadn't slept the whole night- that much was obvious. I pulled her into my arms and whispered sweet things in her ear, soothing her. Struck by an overwhelming sensation of déjà vu, I remembered the night Charlie had died and we were in this exact situation. There was one crucial difference this time though.
This time round, I was the one causing the pain- not healing it.
It was three months after I was sent out, I was halfway through my tour and was returning back from a foot patrol. After changing out of my uniform into a wife beater and comfortable trousers, I settled down for a game of cards with Jasper. Halfway through, someone shouted at me that I had a phone call. I knocked my chair over in my eagerness to get to the phone, it was Bella- I knew it.
"Bella!"
"Oh, Edward it's so good to hear your voice. I miss you so much; keep yourself alive for me okay?"
"Of course, my love. How are you, Bella?"
"Amazing Edward and I have the best news to tell you. I'm three months pregnant"
I almost dropped the phone with shock. Bella was having...a baby. Our baby. After the moment of sheer happiness, immense pain struck me in the centre of my heart. My wife was living alone, thousands of miles away and going through her first pregnancy without her husband by her side. What kind of father would I be? I knew all too well what it was like to have a dad who was constantly away, one who could die any day in horrible circumstances in dank and desolate places. And my child was going to know that as well. No! I couldn't let that happen- I wouldn't.
"Bella I am so happy right now it's untrue."
"I'm so scared though Edward, I'm already showing slightly. It's all happening so fast and by the time you come home I will be like a balloon!"
"The most beautiful and sexy balloon in the world though."
She laughed at my failed attempt of a joke and I sighed.
"I've missed your laugh, Bella"
"And I've missed you"
I sighed again, seriousness coming back to the situation
"I need to promise you something for our baby- they will never go through the pain of losing a father to war."
Then the phone cut out- my three minutes of call time all used up.
During my final week of service, I spent most of my time on the streets and less of it in the base. We were now mostly just a peacekeeping force, the local armies had regained more control and attacks on us and our allies were still a threat, but not as big as it was the time I was nearly killed. I was walking with Jasper again, through a quieter part of the town where most people preferred to stay indoors for safety. The streets were almost empty and the sun was setting, the abandoned and derelict buildings become somewhat more frightening. There was an eerie silence around us and the hairs on my arms were standing on end.
"I think we should go back Jaz, this place doesn't feel right"
Nodding, he turned back around and we quietly made our way back the same way we came. Suddenly, a single gunshot was fired and the sound of it echoed through the air. I pulled my gun up to my chest, spotting the attacker down a side alley. The sound of gunfire rang through the air again and my bullets took down two men- one of them an innocent bystander who just got in the way. Accidents happen. I heard the sound of more gunfire and began running, getting out of range of their shot. I was safe. Then, I realised Jasper was not with me. He was back in the main road- open and exposed. Not thinking twice, I ran back to the danger zone, seeing him lying still in the middle of the road. Reaching his body and fearing the worst, I smiled with relief when I saw his chest moving slowly up and down. I carried him over my shoulders and moved as fast as I could back to the base. It wasn't fast enough. A gun was fired and the bullet went straight into my back, the pain worse than the stabbing of a thousand knives and it made my injury all those months ago look like a paper cut in comparison. I fell to my knees, Jasper rolling off my back and onto the floor beside me. Before I blacked out again, I saw the group of marines running towards us, having heard the gunfire. The sound of more bullets and soldiers shouting commands rang through the air as our friends took down the last of the men who had attacked us. Then the pain become too intense, the pure agony radiating from my back was too much to handle. For the second time in two years, I passed back into blackness.
However I look at it, love has been the central force running through my life- the motivation and reason behind everything I have done. The love I had for my father was so strong that I was compelled to follow in his footsteps, to be as much like him as I possibly could. It was the love for my friend that got me where I am today and it was love for my country that led me into the army. But, overriding all of these was the love for my wife that kept me going through it all. When I thought all was lost, that there was nothing left anymore- thoughts of my Bella were always there to spur me to carry on, to push me on to fight back and come home to her.
Tears are running down Bella's cheeks, her beautiful face becoming stained with the sadness and pain that a woman of her age shouldn't know of yet. It was sight I had seen too many times. Barely 30 years old, she should be out having fun, not spending her life in a hospital room with me, not knowing if her husband is going to live or die. I know though. I try to raise my hand slightly to brush the hair away from her face but I can't move it. I can't move any of my body. She whispered, her voice choked with tears
"You're paralysed Edward. The bullet hit your spinal cord"
I didn't care about that. All I cared about right now was that she was here with me. I looked at her, seeing the roundness of her stomach as our baby grew inside her. She was one of those pregnant women that just radiated happiness, even now as she cried more than she ever had before. We both knew it was coming.
She held my hand tightly, gripping me like she never wants to let go. I don't recognise my own voice,
"Listen to me, Bella. This is not the end, I swear to you that you will carry on, you will keep living Bella- you need to. You need to be happy. For the baby"
The words came out slowly, my damaged throat struggling to form coherent words but she understood, nodding her head as she tried to hold in more tears.
"No! You can't go- you can't! I love you, Edward. Don't leave me, please."
She was almost shouting, shaking her head and crying even more as she pleaded with me to fight an impossible battle. But, I couldn't go on anymore. I drew comfort and strength from one thing though- my victory.
Death was going to take me any minute now, I could feel it. The pain was slowly fading and my eyes had the overpowering urge to close. I still feel victorious though, even now, scarred and lying on my deathbed, I know that our love won't die with me. It will live on, through the child that I will never get to meet.
I won.
Not my usual thing I know but I was inspired to write it. What did you think? :)
I know that some people won't like the ending either but I think it was the right way to finish and so I wrote it as I did.