She laid on her side, eyes set out the open window, the dim lights of the city painting the backyard in a dull glow. Right about now she should be filled with regrets, anger at herself, at Fritz, at the man lying next to her. But she didn't. She didn't immediately search for her clothes or jump into the shower. She didn't flinch every time the phone rang or worry that any moment, he might barge inside and catch them in the act. Instead, she calmly enjoyed the peace of the late hour, the darkness, the warmth of the body next to her.
It wasn't that she wanted to hurt Fritz; it wasn't even that she felt he deserved it. She loved him, she did, but she wasn't in love with him anymore and she knew he felt the same. Still, they were holding on, to a relationship they and everyone else had expected to work. But it didn't and she didn't feel any pang of jealousy when she overheard him flirting with some new FBI agent. She didn't cry herself to sleep at night or miss his body next to hers. When they'd separated, she'd been saddened, but that was it. They kept telling each other that they'd work it out, so they kept holding on. She was ready to let go of the relationship that ended so long ago but had been dragged out for months afterwards. And maybe this was her way of proving it to herself... Or maybe that excuse was her way of justifying what had happened; what had been happening for three months now.
His hand crept along her hip, slow but knowledgeable of the curves it held. He tugged her back just an inch, slid up close so she could feel his warm front against her bare skin. He kissed her shoulder sleepily, nuzzling her hair out of the way so he could kiss up to her neck before he sighed against her ear. "What're you doin' up? We don't have to go in for at least.." He looked past her to the clock. "Hell, two hours."
She acknowledged him with a nod before returning to staring out the window. "I'm not this girl," she admitted quietly.
He woke up quickly, perching his head on his upturned hand. "I know."
Her brow furrowed, lips pursing. "I never thought I'd be this girl."
"Brenda... It's not like that." He hugged her gently, pulling her even closer. "That relationship is over... I'm not even sure if this is called cheating."
She shook her head. "If we don't say it... is it still over?"
"I dunno..." He was quiet for a long moment before he whispered deeply, "If I don't say I love you, does it mean I don't love you?"
She rolled over in his arms and stared up into his dark brown eyes with slight awe. "You..."
"I didn't say it..." He lifted a brow.
She felt her lips quirk at the corners. "That's one way to tell a girl how you feel."
He grinned.
"So tomorrow I'll just... settle things. For real." She nodded, licking her lips. "That way everything that needs to be said can be said." She lifted a hand, cupping his cheek. "And maybe I have a few things to say to you, too."
"Good." He turned over to lie on his back and cuddled her close. "Now get some sleep, Chief. We gotta busy day ahead of us."
Cheekily, she saluted him. "Yes sir, Lieutenant Flynn."
He smirked, letting his eyes close and burying a hand in her hair affectionately.
Laying her cheek down on his chest, she took a deep, relaxing breath, happy that things were finally going to be sorted out for good. All good things had to come to an end sometime, especially if she wanted something great to have its opportunity to really begin.