I was in a white void. Floating. Then a voice said "why didn't you quit while you were ahead?" the void turned a greyed white. I didn't answer. "you were ahead and you threw it all away." the void became greyer. A familiar silhouette showed in front of me. "he is just staying with you because you would never make it in your own." the void was getting darker. "He pitied you." the void became darker. "He is going to leave you one day." ever darker. "they all will." the light was being replaced with the dark. "you are not good enough." it felt like with the dark, it was bringing the cold. "You will never be good enough." everything played over and over again, like it was on repeat. Everything was black but the voice continued, showing me the cold also. I tried to talk. Nothing came out.
"help!" I tried. I only felt soft sound, but no sound. I screamed the only thing that may help me. "Dan!" but that felt like I said nothing. "help!" I tried again, but I felt like nothing was happening. I could still hear the voice of the void telling me I am unworthy.
"phil?" I heard an alarmed voice say. But it was distance, as if for another side of a stadium.
"help me!" I tried but I voice could do not be heard.
"phil!" the alarmed voice said. I was being shaken. "wake up! Phil, you need to wake up!"
I sat straight up in bed. Dan by my side. My heart was racing, I couldn't catch my breath, and I was crying. I hugged dan. "had that nightmare again?" Dan said, still holding me. I nodded. "You know that I would never leave you, I love you the way you are, and so many people love you. And if they don't, they can go to hell." I smirked.
"I was cold, so cold. It took longer this time. I am scared. Thank you for saving me." I said, hugging him tighter.
"through wind and rain, through snow and sunshine, I will be there for you. I will never leave you, if I had the choice." he said hugging me tighter.
"thank you. Can… can you stay here… just in case I have it again?"
"sure. Of course I will. I will be happy to." dan said and kissed me on the top of the head.