Once upon a time there was a ship called Enterprise
She boldly went where none had gone before up in the skies.
The captain, named Jean-Luc Picard, was evil but efficient
The number one, Will Riker, led away teams and such missions.
Deanna Troi, ship's counselor, thought reading minds was fun
Till Worf pulled out his phaser—and it wasn't set on stun.
LaForge, with headband snug on face, was chief of engineering
He put the warp core back online and everyone was cheering.
So happily the Enterprise upon her trek would travel
While Wesley Crusher spouted endless streams of technobabble.
They had no Vulcan Spock on board, but what they had was Data
The big-mouthed android built by Doctor Soong aboard a freighter
He technobabbled worse than Wes, and never used contractions
T'was said that Tasha Yar toward him felt curious attractions.
So Wesley on the Enterprise throughout the stars would trek
While Beverly, his mother, was attendant to the sick
They would engage the Romulans within the neutral zone
The Borg and the Cardassians their missions would postpone
And Worf would fight them off with bat'leth and photon torpedoes—
At least they had the admiralty and not that jerk Alito.