"Daddy tell me a story!" demanded Little Johnny, the son of the all famous Snake Gatechum. Snake Gatechum was famous just because his uncle was the notorious Duke Nukem. Without his uncles stardom he would have been a nobody.
"I'll tell you the story of how I saved the city of SteelPort from the evil 3rd Street Saints" he replied. His mind slowly started to fade to the past as he recollected the memories of fighting the Saints of Saints Row. To him they were evil drug lords bent on world domination but, of course he was wrong. The Saints of Saints Row were far from being evil drug lords. They were trying to save SteelPort from the evil.
Snake Gatechum was about 16 years old when he was living in SteelPort. His father who was the almighty Burt Reynolds was the mayor at that time. Burt told Snake that he was to go to the store and buy the groceries. Little did Snake know that going to the store would change his life forever. His father didn't tell him how he already hired the Saints to exterminate the zombies invading a certain district.
Snake saw 'The Boss' and his goons patrolling the streets and causing havoc. The only havoc the Saints were causing though was to the enemies' property. A stray missile from a rocket headed right for the boy. Snake instinctively dodged the rocket and unsheathed his own dual pistols. He fired back at the Saints killing all. He blew his pistols in victory and continued on his way to the grocery store.
"And so son, that's how I saved the city of SteelPort"
"But daddy. I thought that the city of SteelPort got mad at your dad for killing the Saints and letting the Syndicate take over. That's why your dad disowned you"
"No son. The reason why I and my father don't talk anymore is because you were born. Let me tell you of how I defeated the blue rat who tried to kill a feeble old scientist"
Snake Gatechum was now the age of 20 and he was stuck in jail with none other than Sonic the Hedgehog. Now mind you Sonic didn't belong in jail. He was accused of drug abuse. Sonic did not do drugs. He was injected with drugs by the evil doctor Eggman. That's how he was always able to run so fast.
The Warden of this super prison always read a horrible novel that he had written. Every day the dreadful drone of the words came through the intercom of the prison. Snake decided that he, with Sonics help, had to kill the evil warden and destroy the prison for good.
"Oh boy. It's time to read another segment from my wonderful story. Oh boy"
Snake began to cry. Sonic walked up to him and gave him a thumb up.
"Don't worry Snake. I'll help you kill this punk!"
"You…Will? *Sniff sniff* Oh thank you Sonic!"
The two partners then broke out of their cells and attacked the guards. Snake shooting them with his dual pistols and Sonic slashing some open with his trusty old homing attack. Eventually the two made it to the Wardens room and the warden was none other than Eggman.
"Oh boy isn't it my arch nemesis Sonic the Hedgehog and his gay friend Snake Gatechum"
"Shut up Egghead!" cried Sonic.
"Snake. Did you know Sonic was actually a villain in disguise? He was working with the 3rd Street Saints that day when they were blowing up your father's neighborhood."
"Snake! Don't believe him!" howled Sonic. It was already too late though. Sonics head exploded from the bullet that Snake had fired. The blue hedgehog fell to the ground dead. Eggman laughed manically and flew away in his Egg mobile. Snake stared at the body and trembled with vengeance.