Disclaimer: These characters aren't mine.
Inside the auditorium, the emcee/auctioneer shouted, "Sold to number 38 for $39,000!" The crowd cheered wildly. In addition to the cheers, whistles and catcalls echoed throughout the room. Reading from a teleprompter, the emcee continued, "Next, we have-"
With each passing minute, the atmosphere inside the waiting room grew gloomier and gloomier. Several heads looked up when the door opened. A traumatized looking Michael Jon Carter, aka Booster Gold, entered the room and collapsed into an empty chair. "They're animals," he muttered. He glanced quickly at Animal Man. "No offense, Buddy."
Buddy Baker, aka Animal Man, only waved his hand. By the look on his face, it was obvious he was concerned about when his name was called. Like everyone else in the room, Buddy wondered what he had done wrong to be here. Why had his wife decided this was a good idea?
"You got $39,000? I don't believe it! I only got a measly $27,000."
The comment brought a smile to Michael's face. He looked at his best friend Ted Kord, aka Blue Beetle. "Yeah, well, you're wearing a bug costume."
"But I own a multimillion dollar corporation."
"They don't know that."
Ted started to stand. "Good point. Maybe I should go back and-"
Michael grabbed his friend's arm. "Trust me, you don't want to go back out there." He shivered at the thought. If the events bothered Michael, a man used to spending time in the spotlight, how bad would it be for everyone else who wasn't used to the attention? Sandy Hawkins, aka Sand, and Ted had returned looking a bit paler, but not nearly as traumatized as Michael. Obviously, the crowd was getting rowdier with each new name that was called.
Roy Harper, aka Arsenal, stood up and paced. Listening to Booster hadn't helped his mood. Booster had been number three. Number four was now on stage. That honor had fallen to Pieter Cross, aka Dr. Mid-Nite. The doctor was having his dignity cut to shreds.
Roy wondered why the hell he was here. Why were any of them here? How had he ever let Dinah talk him into this? She had made it sound so innocent. She had made it sound like he'd be doing this great thing to help out. Looking back, he should have known better. If it were so innocent, why had she banned Ollie from participating? As for doing a "great thing," they seemed to save the world on a regular basis. How much more "great" could it get? "I say we leave," he announced to the heroes in the room.
Dick Grayson, aka Nightwing , sighed and rubbed his temple. "Roy, we can't leave."
"Why not? You want to go out there? You, who are noted as, and I quote, 'the Number One Ass in Spandex'?"
The comment earned him a Bat glare. "No, but-"
"Fuck it! I-"
"Roy, shut up," Wally West, aka the Flash, said. Even the laid-back, easy-going speedster seemed on edge. He, too, was wondering why his wife had been so supportive of this idea. Looking back, she seemed to have been almost eager for him to participate.
Roy shifted his glare to Wally. Before he could fire back a barbed retort, Michael Holt, aka Mr. Terrific, spoke up. "Harper, enough. We all signed a contract. We're not breaking it. Period." Surprisingly, Roy didn't argue.
Dick sent a grateful look toward Michael. He didn't have the strength to deal with one of Roy's tirades, especially since he knew Roy wasn't in the mood to listen. Besides, his own mind was focused on the various ways he would pay back Bruce for getting him into this mess. How had Bruce ever thought this would be a good idea? Why couldn't Bruce just pull his usual by writing some damn check and saving everyone from the embarrassment?
The concept behind the evening had been simple. Instead of a celebrity auction, a "hero auction" would be held. Individuals could bid to have a dinner with their favorite superhero. The money would benefit the victims from a recent natural disaster that had affected millions. Initially, the idea had received a lukewarm reception from the superhero community. Everyone knew these celebrity auctions could easily turn into meat markets. There were easier ways to help out. Besides, the superhero community was already helping out in numerous ways.
The organization that had proposed the idea hadn't given up. Instead, they had shared projections on the potential contributions that could be raised. They had noted how the auction would result in good press. When the heroes had still remained critical of the idea, the organization had offered to give a portion of the proceeds to the charity of each participating hero's choice. The profits would be split so numerous charities would benefit. The change of tactics garnered a smidgen of increased interest, but still no agreements.
Finally, in a desperate last ditch attempt to get the heroes to cooperate, one of the organizers had leaked information to the press. The tactic worked. The press, in particular the tabloids, had immediately pounced on the bit of news. A common theme quickly emerged – why were the heroes refusing to participate? Was dining with fans beneath them? Were they too good for the general public?
Initially, the hero community had waited for the story to die. It hadn't. Instead, with each passing day, the innuendos grew. Within three days, the leaders of the Justice League and the Justice Society had discussed the situation. To combat the negative publicity, they had agreed to participate, but they had one catch – they would establish the rules. First, they would choose which heroes could or would participate. Second, all participants had to be at least twenty-one to avoid any potential underage drinking allegations. Third, only male heroes would participate. If the event went off with no serious problems, the heroes would consider a similar event for heroines. Fourth, all winners would have to pass a security check. Finally, and most importantly, the auction would be for dinner at a public restaurant. The hero and winner would arrive and leave separately. The restaurant and the winner would be screened for security purposes.
The organizers weren't happy with all the rules, but they had known they had no choice. If they had said no, the press would have turned on them. Grudgingly, an agreement was reached.
Following the agreement, representatives of the Justice League – Batman, Superman and the Martian Manhunter – and representatives of the Justice Society – Flash, Green Lantern and Wildcat – met to decide who would be asked to participate. Not surprisingly, their first order of business had been to exclude their own names from the list. As they had tossed around possibilities, they had two goals: avoid potential scandals and avoid angry wives or girlfriends. To achieve goal one, they had immediately excluded Eel O'Brien aka Plastic Man, Gar Logan aka Beast Boy, and Guy Gardner aka Warrior. To achieve goal two, telephone calls were placed. Black Canary had forbidden Green Arrow's participation. Ellen Baker and Linda Park-West, after listening to the various safeguards that were being put into place, had agreed that their husbands could participate.
After much debate and compromise, a list of ten names had emerged: Nightwing, Arsenal, Flash, Green Lantern Kyle Rayner, Booster Gold, Blue Beetle, Animal Man, Mr. Terrific, Sand, and Dr. Mid-Nite. Those named on the list hadn't been thrilled. They had tried numerous ways to be excluded, but in the end, had been bullied into participating. Now, after seeing the results from the auctions for three heroes and listening to the catcalls even a refined, mature hero like Dr. Mid-Nite was receiving, the remaining heroes wondered what they had done wrong to be chosen.
The seconds slowly ticked past. By the time Dick's turn arrived, the other nine heroes had reached various levels of humiliation. So far, Roy was leading the way with a winning bid of $79,000. No one had missed the satisfied look on his face. Roy was closely followed by Kyle with a bid of $77,500. Ted had only grown more morose as he proved to have the lowest bid of the evening. Everyone knew Nightwing would earn more than $27,000. After all, he did have the best ass in spandex.
As Dick stood on the stage with the bidding underway, he kept his sanity in check by thinking of the various ways he could pay back Bruce. Actually, maybe all of them could band together and pay back all the leaders at once. Dick quickly nixed that idea. No matter what, the JSA demanded respect. The same level of respect was not required for the JLA. At a minimum, he knew he could count on Roy, Wally and Kyle to help him plot revenge.
"Sold to number 153 for an astounding $103,200!" Dick blinked in surprise. He had zoned out while the bidding had taken place. Someone had donated over $100,000 to have dinner with him? These people were crazy!
"And now I'd like you to welcome back to the stage all of the heroes." Slowly, the others joined Dick on the stage. "Let's give a big round of applause to the heroes! They've been great sports!" The thunder of applause filled the auditorium. Pained smiles appeared on the faces of the ten participants. "Also give a big hand to all the winning bidders!"
When the applause died, the heroes returned to the waiting room. The final condition of the agreement had been to immediately meet their winning bidders to arrange the dinner. Thirty minutes later, the heroes walked to a smaller reception room. As they entered the room, they weren't surprised to discover all the winners were women. The women were listening to someone, probably someone from the organization, reviewing the rules of winning. It did seem rather odd that not a single one of the women had turned to watch the heroes enter the room. Even after their embarrassment on the stage, the men still had healthy egos.
The men patiently milled around a table of refreshments. When the women turned, they turned in unison. Jaws dropped in surprise. Wally was the first one to laugh, quickly followed by the others. Thoughts of revenge quickly dissipated. Everything became crystal clear.
The JLA and JSA had made two more decisions which they hadn't shared with the organization. Nor had they shared those decisions with the participants. First, every hero would be won by someone they knew. Second, since there was a good chance the bidding would get out of control, all funding was underwritten by the JLA (i.e., Bruce Wayne).
With smiles on their faces, everyone departed for drinks at Warriors.
And the winners were…
Kendra Saunders aka Hawkgirl – Sand
Beatriz de Costa aka Fire – Blue Beetle
Zinda Blake aka Lady Blackhawk – Booster Gold
Dinah Lance aka Black Canary – Dr. Mid-Nite
Ellen Baker – Animal Man
Karen Starr aka Power Girl – Mr. Terrific
Zatanna Zatara – Green Lantern
Linda Park-West – Flash
Donna Troy aka Troia – Arsenal
Barbara Gordon aka Oracle – Nightwing