Ok, so I had this posted as a different title, but less that six hundred hits were on it. I think it was the title "Eli and Adam" that drew people away. I think that people thought it was like them as a couple, it's not.
"I'm not stupid. Either you like me or you're a sociopath who likes to jerk people around and hurt them. And I know it's not the latter." She desperately tries to make eye contact with me. I flash my eyes to her, quickly trying to keep a blank face. "Or is it,"
I quickly look away and search around the inside of Morty's hood, search for my answer. I do everything in my power not to give into her wonderful blue eyes, the same blue eyes that should be shimmering with happy, not pain and hurt.
"I'm sorry I led you on," I say as soon as the words form in my head. I shrug my shoulders mildly, as she stares at me in shock.
"Wow," she shakes her head from side to side. I continue to work on Morty as she mounts her bike and rides away. I glance her way and she dares a look also. I nod to myself lightly and finish up on my car. After removing the tool case, and put it and the boom box in the passengers seat. I shut the door and move to the drivers seat. I climb in and buckle up, knowing that I wasn't going anywhere for the time being.
I rest my head on the steering wheel, my thinking position. Julia was important to me, and now, she's dead. It was my fault, one hundred percent. Things got messy and it could have been avoided, I killed the person I loved the most. I needed to tell, someone. I pull my phone from the tight pocket in my pants and dial Adam's number. He answers after a couple rings.
'Adam, what are you doing right now? Want to come over, there is something I need to tell you,' I say, Adam agrees to coming over on one condition, I don't tell him I am in love with him. He gets me to laugh a little, and I promise I won't confess my unconditional love for him. I drive towards his house and see his step brother walking that way, I didn't know Drew the best but he seemed like an ok guy.
"Want a lift, I feel like we're headed in a similar direction," I pull over and unlock the door, before moving the tool case and boom box to the back. Drew gives me a confused look, as if he has no clue of who I am. He checks the car out and the look
"Oh," he says. "Adam's friend, Eli, right?" He asks, I nod and open the door, wriggling my eyebrows and glancing to the seat. He smiles and climbs in. We drive in silence until we near their house.
"So, you are friends with Adam, I'm glad he's fitting in." He gives me a smile and nods.
"Yeah, he's pretty cool," I say a little weirded out, assuming he was just trying to make conversation. I pull into the driveway.
"Would you mind telling Adam that I'm here?" I ask, since I would rather not go to the door. I managed to hide my frustrations with Drew in the car but I knew when I saw Adam, my secret could pour from my mouth like there was a hole in my lip.
"Yeah, sure. Thanks for the lift," he gets out shutting the door. I see Adam in a wide window, he gives me a questioning look. Seconds later he appears at the door Drew had just shut.
"What was that," he says looking to where Drew was watching from the same window Adam saw me from.
"Saw him on my way here, killed my girlfriend, offered him a ride, sorry didn't think it was a crime." I slam a hand over my mouth as if to bring the words back in. Adam's eyes widen as I pull out of the drive way and hurry down the road, pressing about eight above the speed limit. I felt as if I drove quicker, I could get away from my confession.
"You what!" Adam exclaims and questions all in one. I sit forward turn my eyes toward just look at him for a second, to see the look on his face.
"Wait till we're at my place," I say rolling my eyes back to the road. I press my lips into a hard line and keep my eyes on the road. Adam sits fidgeting in his seat nervously playing with the sleeve of his hoodie. I park on the side of the road out front. Adam nearly throws himself out of the car shutting the door quickly.
"Eli, what do you mean, 'killed my girlfriend'?" He says quietly, looking to the surrounding houses. "You say it so calmly, Eli, you are freaking my out." He steps back from me as I pass him on the way to my front door.
"Coming in, or standing there?" I ask keeping my face like the night sky, dark and clean. Adam seemingly contemplates leaving, but walks up the stairs and past me into my home, somewhere no friends have seen before. "Eli, this is a new step to dark and scary. Really, spill" he says I don't verbally answer, but point down a hallway, and walk in the same direction, opening the second door on the right.
"Sit," I approach my desk and sit in the computer chair, he takes a seat, cautiously, in the armchair to the right.
"Ok, I guess I've said to much to back out now, huh?" I try to do my typical smirk but can't hold it. Adam continues to stare at me, his eyes screaming in terror. He nods rapidly.
"Adam chill, I won't hurt you. I promise." He exhales and he once again makes me laugh. I tug nervously at my tie. "We got into a fight, and it went really bad. We were both upset, and she took off to go home on her bike. Selfishly I drove myself home, I got a call later that night, her parents told me she was hit my a car on her way home, and that she didn't make it. It's all my fault, I should have gotten over it and taken her home." I say in a single breath. I start breathing a little heavier than normal.
'Dude, Eli, clam down. It wasn't your fault. There was no way you could have known that she was going to get hit, it could have happened at any other day." He says, I take it into consideration before responding.
"Adam, it didn't happen any other time, it happened because of me. I said so many things that I wish I could take back." I start to get frustrated with him, he was the first person who knew about the fight with her.
"Eli, is this why you are ignoring Clare, why you have been pushing away from her?" he stands up and begins pacing.
"I don't deserve her. I like her too much to be her friend, but I don't want to hurt her too. I don't deserve to be happy when Julia can't, because of me." standing up I ball my hands into fists at my sides. I exhale deeply and release some of the anger through my freshly opened fingers.
"You deserve happiness, everyone does." he stops abruptly and looks me in the eyes. "Everyone," he repeats.
"Not me," I nibble at the inside of my lip.
"I don't know what I can say to change your mind, besides that you are wrong, you should be happy. Julia would want you to be." the second he says her name my hand goes to my neck, I grip tightly to the silver, guitar pick-like charm on the necklace she bought me, just weeks before her death.
"Maybe you should go," I exhale at just a whisper.
"Yeah, maybe I should. See you in school." he starts for the door when I think I hear him mumble "maybe". Maybe was right, at this point I didn't know if I would ever return to school. I throw myself at me bed and soon fall asleep.
What's you think?