"I have to go to the bathroom," I muttered, squirming out from under his arm and straightening up despite his protests. I got dressed in a mechanical fashion, without the frantic thoughts that would be racing in my mind. I couldn't find it in me to care at the moment and that seemed to tip him off.

"Hurry back." Smooth, seductive, yet only politely so.

Another shard of my heart splintered off and I didn't reply as I walked out the door.

Suddenly, he was in front of me, his brow furrowed ever so slightly. "Did I upset you?" He was worried - for once - but it didn't contain the passion that I yearned for. He was never passionate about me.

"No, no. I'm just tired... and I have to go to the bathroom." My voice was dead, emotionless, not unlike his at times. Yet while he never suffered a broken heart, I did.

I contemplated that as I padded down the hallway, vaguely aware of his gaze that was burning a hole in the back of my head. I was so sure that I looked like him - apart from the messy brown hair, green eyes and female genitalia. We probably shared the same blank expression, each hinting a troubled mind. Perhaps he really did have his heart broken at one point, explaining he expressionless yet violent demeanour.

But I wasn't expressionless - just confused. There were parts of me that wanted to sob until I ran dry, while another just wanted to make passionate love with him. Even thinking about that aroused a surprisingly potent hatred for him that made me tear him limb from limb, only adding to the overwhelming sadness. Circles; my emotions were running in circles.

Maybe Sesshomaru's were too.

Then again, I doubted he even had emotions; only vague representations that made him less like a monster. Because that's what he was: a monster. A monster who I cared deeply for, who saved my life - and Rin's - on multiple occasions, but a monster nonetheless. All because he couldn't love, because he didn't have a heart.

Yet I knew that wasn't true, because he obviously have feelings for Rin; she was the only one who seemed to hold his heart. I envied her for it.

Rin...

Such innocence shouldn't be corrupted by one so... pitiless. My pulse seemed to still for a moment before restarting in a frenzy. I sped through the corridors, silently thanking the gods that we spent the night in Sesshomaru's room. I flung open my door and dashed into my quarters, yanking out my pack and throwing it onto my bed. I carefully opened the ornate wardrobe out of habit and proceeded to fling armfuls of clothes across the room. My own attire joined it and I pulled on my armour, feelings a sense of relief as my sword was buckled safely across my waist.

Within moments, the bag was filled with necessities and I sped off again in the direction of Rin's room. She was already in the dining hall; it made my job so much easier. Clothes and other items that an eight-year-old would need were stowed safely in the pack and I grunted as I hefted the bundles onto my back.

Turning on my heel, I sprinted through the halls and down the stairs, my naked feet slapping arrogantly on the marble. I met Rin as she was exiting the dining hall, eyes wide with excitement. "Rin," I panted - though not from exertion - readjusting the straps on my shoulders. "Sweetheart, do you love me or Lord Sesshomaru more?" The girl just started, standing there, frozen, only to be brought back to reality as Jaken's shrill tone echoed from the kitchen.

"What?" she whispered, flustered. I just repeated my question. She paused for a moment before reluctantly muttering, "You're more fun..."

That's all I needed.

Before she could protest, we were out of the castle grounds and on our way to a new life. Yet despite my eagerness, I couldn't help but look back over my shoulder and notice Lord Sesshomaru standing atop one of the towers, his beautiful face contorted in what could have been pure agony.

Perhaps he could learn to be human, then maybe, just maybe, we'd come back.