A/N: Man, I am sooooo going to hell for this story…

Disclaimers: I do not own Star Trek, or TWSS.

Captain Kirk clenched his jaw and gripped the arm of his chair, bracing for their next impact. "Where is Scotty when you need him?!" he cried into the intercom.

Currently, the U.S.S. Enterprise was hurdling itself through a black hole in space, desperately trying to work its way out before everyone aboard was compressed into spaghetti. (How THAT happened, I don't know.)

God damnit...Kirk thought to himself. It's all over… His thoughts were interrupted by another sudden jolt.

Suddenly, Scotty burst onto the Bridge, a large furrow in his brow. "Cap'n, I'm afraid we've got some bad news," he confessed, hanging his head. "It won't come out, sir—I suggest we give a good, hard pull, or else…Cap'n?"

The Captain was now hunched over in his chair, his face bright red with laughter. "W-What did you just say…?" Kirk giggled, trying to take deep breaths.

Scotty shook his head, "Why, I said that unless we give her a tug, it won't move, not now that it's gone so far in…Cap'n, are you even listening to me?"

Kirk couldn't make the laughter stop. He gripped his sides and howled, nearly falling out of his seat. "Oh man, I haven't had a good laugh like that since a few star dates ago…" Even Sulu and Chekov were snickering in their chairs.

The furrow in Scotty's brow deepened. "Sir, I don't understand what's so funny…this is serious! Bones, tell 'em it's serious!" Scotty shouted to McCoy, who had just happened to walk onto the Bridge at that moment. "We're at our maximum capacity; it'll burst any moment now!"

Red-faced and extremely uncomfortable, Bones shuffled out much quicker than you would think at his age. Uhura frowned at the engineer. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself!" she scolded, even though she was struggling to suppress her own laughter.

Spock held the sides of his head as if his brain were about to explode. "Must…resist…human…urges…" he murmured, his breathing becoming shallow and his face growing unnaturally pale.

The Captain finally let all the giggles out of him and grinned. "Well, Scotty, I'm sure you can figure something out," he said, finally able to regain his composure.

Scotty's mouth dropped open. "But sir, don't make me do it all by myself! It's more of a two-person job!"

At that exact moment, Nurse Chapel waltzed in alongside McCoy. Scotty looked up at the ceiling, seemingly forming calculations in his head. "Though I guess…with more than two, the task would go a lot faster, wouldn't it?"

Nurse Chapel's face flushed bright crimson and hugged her electronic clipboard to her chest. "What the Federation…You weren't kidding," she murmured to McCoy. The doctor nodded gravely.

Scotty groaned and stomped off, leaving Kirk and the others to laugh by themselves. "Hmph! I guess I'll have to be the one on top this time!" he shouted, storming off. And with that, the Captain actually did fall out of his chair.

I dare you to try it; watch at least one episode of Star Trek and take everything Scotty says as a TWSS joke. Trust me, it will make your day.

On that note…R/R Puh-lease! ;D