After their encounter with the Vikings, Brendan and Aidan ran for miles. Both of them were keeping a close watch on what might be lurking behind every rock and tree.
Aidan intended for them to keep going until nightfall in hopes of avoiding another attack. But their plan was delayed by a harsh blizzard. The wind made their skin burn as snow and ice spat at their hooded faces.
Pangur scampered on ahead to look for shelter. Aidan followed; only to occasionally look back to make sure Brendan didn't fall behind. The young apprentice had barely said a word since the attack at Kells.
Aidan was beginning to worry if he'd never forgive him for holding him back from saving his uncle.
But the thought never crossed Brendan's mind, at least not as coldly as Aidan predicted. Brendan was still mourning over the lose of his Uncle and brothers. The people that took care of him since his was an infant were all gone.
He felt so powerless…
The anger he once had for uncle had faded from memory. Brendan knew that Cellach only wanted to do what he thought was best for both him and Kells. He recalled his subtle gentleness that was hidden behind his stern manner. Now that he was gone, along with the rest of Kells. Brendan had a sinking feeling in his chest that all of his uncle's efforts were all for nothing.
Suddenly a great gale of wind struck Brendan and almost pushed him off his feet. Brendan tried to keep himself steady, but as he staggered backwards he accidently slipped on a patch of ice. The young boy let out a scream as he was thrown down a steep slope.
"Brendan!" Aidan gasped, as he quickly raced after him.
"Are you alright?" he asked, while steadily bringing Brendan to his feet.
"I'm fine, Aidan- Ah! I think my ankle is twisted," Brendan winced.
"Don't worry, lad, we'll find shelter soon," Aidan replied, cloaking his apprentice from the harsh winds as they slowly trudged on.
Pangur scurried over to their side.
"No worries Pangur, I've got him," Aidan said, before raising an eyebrow as he spotted a piece of bark in her mouth. "Hm? What's that you've got there, girl?"
The Pangur dropped it at their feet and led them to a deeply rooted hollow.
"Hah, well done, girl! We'll rest here for now," Aidan sighed in relief.
Brendan didn't seem to respond.
"Are you sure you're alright, lad...?" Aidan questioned, growing concerned for his apprentice.
"Huh?- Yes, I'll be alright." Brendan responded, as he limped towards the great tree.
The hollow was big enough to shield them from the harsh winds, but the cold dampness from the snow wasn't doing them much in the way of favors. Their best hopes were to wait until the storm died down.
"Do you… Do you think it's possible to gather some wood for a fire?" Brendan muttered, curling himself into a ball, feeling the prickling waves up his arms and face.
"I'm afraid not, lad. The snow has gotten so bad it's made the twigs well hidden. Even if we could find a few they'd be too damp for a fire…" Aidan signed woefully, tucking his exposed feet inside his robe to help shield them from the bitter cold; they felt so numb he wasn't sure if that would work either.
"Oh…" Brendan responded with a shiver, trying to his best to keep his fingers warm enough to avoid them from getting frostbitten.
The older monk couldn't bear to see his apprentice look so miserable. He thought to himself deeply, certainly there must be something he could do to make things a little bit better.
Aidan unfastened his cloak.
"Come here, lad. The least I can do is help keep you warm."
Brendan perked up and scooted closer to Aidan, who covered him with his cloak.
To Brendan's surprise it felt very warm, almost as if the cloak had been resting near a hearth.
"Thank you, Brother," Brendan sighed gratefully.
"Don't mention it, lad," Aidan smiled, as he leaned back against the hollow, letting Brendan rest against his chest.
Pangur slipped herself inside and curled up in the young boy's embrace. Aidan wrapped his arms around and held the two of them close.
For the first time, Brendan found himself close to smiling as he nestled himself inside Aidan's warmth.
"Are you sure you'll be warm enough?" Brendan asked.
"I'll be fine, my boy. I've got you to keep me warm."
"… What do you think will happen to us now?"
"I don't know… But try to get some rest if you possibly can, alright… you'll be needing your strength for tomorrow," Aidan replied.
Rest? Brendan thought.
Not once had that felt so impossible: if the cold didn't shake him awake, it was his troubled mind. Filled with the ache of painful memories for those who were lost.
"… I know it hurts, boy… I was no different. I felt the very same after what they did at Iona… But you've got to be strong." Aidan said, stroking Brendan's head consolingly.
Pangur watched as Brendan tried in vain to brush away tears from welling up in his eyes.
"You can let it out, you know… There's no shame in it." Aidan murmured.
"W-why should I?" Brendan trembled.
"You know as well as I do, lad… If you keep your emotions locked up for too long it will only make the pain worse."
"Uncle used to say that crying showed a man's weakness," Brendan replied.
"…Think of it as weakness leaving the body, lad." Aidan said.
It was too much; sobs finally came tearing their way through his mouth as he buried his face into his mentor's chest.
"That's it, Brendan. Just let it all out… I promise you'll feel better after this… You'll see," Aidan whispered, holding his apprentice tighter as he felt him quake inside his embrace.
He lived to protect you the only way knew how… Now I must protect you… for Cellach… and for the Book.
The Book!
Brendan thought.
'My uncle may have died, but he did not die in vain! I will complete the book… I will do it for him,' Brendan thought fiercely to himself.
It felt like hours had gone by before Aidan could finally feel his apprentice's trembling cease. The boy had grown so tired from crying he had fallen asleep.
The old monk carefully whipped away Brendan's tears, knowing full well that there were more to come during the next couple of days.
But Aidan was patient; he knew that they'd both persevere somehow. Yet he couldn't help but feel sorry for the boy, knowing he'd be doomed to suffer through the same countless nightmares as he did.
However, they still had each other, and Aidan would help Brendan through his nightmares as Brendan helped him through his own.
Gently Aidan left a kiss on Brendan's brow, wishing him pleasant dreams. Before he too fell asleep, keeping his cloak firmly pinned underneath his arms, trapping what little warmth they had left inside. Praying that they'd survive the winter.
The harsh winds cut through the hollow, almost shaking it to its very core. But the three of them held on tightly to one another. Ignoring the icy burn from the snow and the groans from the trees.
Suddenly a great howl echoed across the landscape and silenced the storm.
All was quite…
Pangur stirred, shaking off the snow that clumped onto her fur. She peered at the pair clinging to each other as they shivered from the frozen snowflakes that clung onto their hair and robes.
The cat wriggled out of the boy's grasp when she heard the sound of a wolf close by. But neither Brendan nor Aidan woke up; both were too cold and tired to even notice.
Pangur stood by, guarding her owners as she watched closely at what might be lurking behind every tree. She almost didn't see the well blended in wolf as it approached them. The cat puffed up her fur and growled at the intruder.
But as the wolf came into closer view, Pangur spotted Aisling's emerald green eyes staring back at her. The two touched noses, instantly leaving Pangur somewhat at ease as she slinked back underneath the boy's arm.
Aisling sniffed at Brendan, never had she seen him look so grief stricken before. She could find traces of his tears that were on the brink of freezing over on his cheeks.
The wolf gazed down at the old man, whom she assumed was Aidan. He looked no better than Brendan with his body all worn out and fatigued. As Aisling got closer she could smell the fear coming off his pale stick-like form as he tightened his grip around his apprentice.
The wolf breathed on the trio, sending a warm white mist to encircle them. The snow disappeared from their hair and clothes; even the ground beneath them began to thaw and sprout fresh green grass.
Aisling lay beside them, keeping the three of the warm with her coat. The wolf caught a glimpse of Brendan smiling inside the tight embrace. She rested her head against his shoulder, sensing the two of them becoming more at ease.
The wolf was about to fall asleep, when suddenly she felt something softly petting her head. Instantly she shot her gaze towards Aidan, who was beginning to stir.
Aisling froze, expecting the old monk to wake up abruptly after realizing he wasn't petting Pangur or Brendan. Yet to the wolf's surprise, Aidan never did and kept petting her in his sleep.
Aisling almost didn't know what to think at first. Never had she let a mortal besides Brendan touch her before. And yet this somehow didn't feel like a mistake on his part; on the contrary it felt more like Aidan was giving her thanks for what she had done. The stench of fear she smelled earlier had melted into loving comfort.
It was unclear if Aidan was aware of her presence or not, but for the moment Aisling felt it was safe to stay. He meant no harm… After all it did feel nice to have someone scratch behind her ears for once.
When she felt content, the wolf gently licked at the monk's hand for it to stop, and allowed it to slide down her neck and rest on her shoulder.
The wolf curled up with the group and nestled her head against Brendan once more. Allowing her senses to drift as she too wondered through their dreams, running down winding paths of endless winter.