~ ROSE ~

I held his body in my arms. His head was cradled against my chest as I pressed my face into his red curls. My best friend was dead...because of me.

If I hadn't told him where the Strigoi were...If I had insisted that we leave immediately when I had found him and the others...If he hadn't come back for me...If I had simply loved him the way that he loved me, the way that he deserved to be loved by me...he would be safe. So many ifs, but only one truth: he was dead and I only had myself to blame. It should have been me.

I looked up from his hair, where my tears fell into oblivion. I envied them. I envied the ability to disappear, to forget, to simply let go and be lost to the world. Looking around, I saw the two other bodies nearby. They were cold, pale, and soulless...but that had happened long ago. I simply took the last semblance of life away from them. In some ways, I envied them as well. They had been murderers, but now...so was I. At least I had given them peace.

I looked down at Mason again. He looked so peaceful in my arms. His neck was broken, but there was hardly any other mark on him. The blood that did mar his perfection was either mine or from one of my victims. He looked as if he could be sleeping, but I knew better.

With one last kiss, I laid him gently on the floor. I had no more tears left. I felt numb. I felt hopeless. I felt like I had no other options...

...so I ran.

I ran just like Dimitri taught me to. I ran past buildings and street signs. I ran until the sun began to set behind the unfamiliar hills. I ran fast and hard away from the house. It had been a prison for me and my friends and it now was a grave one of them. The steady footfalls created a meditative rhythm as my mind raced between thoughts, almost as if my life was passing before my eyes. I had no idea where I was going, but the feeling that I needed to keep moving pushed me on.

Memories came and went. My mother abandoning me at the Academy when I was still a child, and her sudden return only a few short weeks ago. Our relationship was rocky and practically nonexistent, but she was still my mother, and I still loved her despite everything.

Vasilisa. Lissa. We weren't related by blood but she was my sister. More than that, she was my bond mate and we were tied together by something stronger than blood. We were bound by Spirit. I owed her my life and I knew that if I just opened my mind to her for a moment I would feel all of her emotions rush into me. I couldn't do that though. I couldn't even handle my own emotions right now, much less hers. I had promised to always be there for her, to protect her. Now I was abandoning her.

One at a time, other faces flashed before my eyes. Mason, Eddie, Christian, Mia, Adrian, Mr. & Mrs. Dragomir, Andre, even Alberta who was like a second mother to me. It seemed like everyone that I had ever met in my life, good or bad, took a moment in my mind before vanishing.

Finally, I saw Dimitri. I fell to my knees when his face appeared. I had only known him a short while, but he had touched my life in a way that no one else could. It was as if his soul knew how to speak to mine and vice versa. In the few short months that he had been in my life, he had changed me immensely. He had helped ground me, and I've become more focused and self-controlled under his guidance. He saw the potential in me that few others ever saw and nobody else cared to nurture. I owed him so much because of that. He was a mentor for me, but he was also so much more. I loved him. I knew he also loved me...at least to a certain extent, whatever that may be. We could never be together for so many reasons outside of our control, but I knew that a part of me would always love Dimitri.

I couldn't see anything around me as I lay gasping in the damp grass of some random park, and I was comforted by Dimitri's memory. I didn't want him to see me like this, to see how I had failed him in my training, but the image of his elusive smile and feeling of his arms around me was all that kept me in reality. Unfortunately that grip was temporary, and soon I found myself succumbing to the exhaustion and stress. I felt the final threads of consciousness slip as I heard him call my name, from a place far away in my mind.

"Roza."

– DIMITRI –

We had been searching for hours it seemed. We didn't have much to go on, just Adrian's vague tip about a house with a basement and some recent reports of where Strigoi had been spotted in a few residential neighborhoods. My energy was draining nearly as fast as my hope with each street we passed. There were many other homes in this area with basements, too many to simply knock on each door. Since we didn't have an address or description, the best we could do was comb the area and pray that we saw some other clue leading to their location.

The crackle of my earpiece snapped me to attention. "We have located the students. Rinaldi, Ozera, and Castile have been located."

Wait...that's only three of the five. My chest felt like lead as I waited for the rest of the report.

"Ashford and Hathaway are still at the house." An address quickly followed and I recognized the street name. I had passed it a short while ago. I had probably walked right by them. I started running back that direction before the next words stopped me in my tracks. "One casualty reported."

I don't remember how I made it front of the old blue house, complete with peeling paint and dingy white trim. I had seen this house only a few hours ago. I remember stopping right in front of it, wondering if she was inside. Perhaps she had been waiting for me, and I had walked away.

Guardians moved in and out of the front door without urgency. In almost any other situation, it would be calming to see them so composed, but their lack of hurry could only signify one thing: there was nothing worth hurrying for anymore.

"Guardian Belikov." Guardian Alberta Petrov's voice pulled me from my stillness. Despite her age, her experience and commanding presence made her perfect as the captain of the school guardians. Unfortunately, her voice was also laced with something I had never heard from her before: pity. It was subtle, but there. "I think you should come see this."

Without my permission, my feet moved up the walkway towards the front door. The chaos inside confused me initially. Water, glass, and fish were scattered across the floor. A few pieces of furniture were toppled over or broken. Guardians were huddled in groups, speaking in hushed voices and taking notes. I could hear some broken fragments but couldn't make out the greater meaning.

"The blades are dull. They look like they haven't been used in years."

"It would have taken some insane strength to do this."

I finally saw what they were talking about. Two Strigoi bodies lay on the floor, surrounded by blood with their heads removed from their bodies by a few inches. They were killed by decapitation. It was by far the most difficult method and one that no regular guardian would have taken if they were armed with stakes. It must have been one of the novices.

Scanning the floor, I saw an old sword that was more fit for decoration then defense. The blood marks on the blade left no question to its most recent use however. It only held my attention for a moment though, before the hand beside it made my heart stop.

The hand was still and unmoving. The rest of the body was shielded by other guardians. Two things were certain though: first, it was too pigmented to be Strigoi. Second, it was too pale to be Rose.

I pushed my way over, confirming that small comfort when I saw the red hair of Mason Ashford. As much as it pained me to see the young novice dead at my feet, a small part of me was relieved that it wasn't my beautiful Roza. I could still hold on to hope.

Desperately, I scanned the crowd again. She must be here. There was only one casualty reported, so she must be around somewhere. My heart sunk when I saw the unbelievable sight of Guardian Janine Hathaway sitting on the couch and staring blankly ahead of her, seemingly in shock with silent tears running down her cheeks. Guardian Hathaway was one of the most controlled guardians around, and only a few things could shake her like this. Rose was unaccounted for. In our profession, that could be a fate worse than death.

I glanced around the house one last time, my heart racing as I searched for her dark brown locks. When I couldn't find her there, I retreated outside again. Guardian Petrov was now speaking to the little blonde Moroi girl, Mia. I strode to the pair, desperate for answers.

"Where is she?" I demanded.

"Guardian Belikov," Alberta answered, "we are doing our best to find Rose. Mia was the last to see her. According to her account, Rose stayed behind to allow the others to flee into the sun. Ashford returned to help her and was killed in the process. However, Mia was able to break a fish tank and cause a distraction that allowed Rose to decapitate the two Strigoi. Mia encouraged Rose to come with them to find help, but she refused to leave Mason's body. Miss Rinaldi said that there were only two Strigoi in the house at the time, both now dead. This has been confirmed by human accomplices that we found tied up in the basement. We don't know Rose's whereabouts now, but I assure you, we will do everything we can to find her."

While missing, Rose had killed the only two Strigoi present. It was a small comfort since that meant it wasn't likely that Rose had been turned. She wasn't out of the woods yet, however. She was likely hurt, perhaps disorientated, and definitely lost. But at least I now had some solid information. I can build a plan from information.

"Do you already have a team canvasing the area?" I asked.

"Not yet."

"I'll get on that."

She nodded as I turned to gather assistance. Don't worry Rose, I thought, I'm coming. I'll find you. I promise.