If You Forget Then We Will Starting Over
(Also known as : What Which Wrought With Who?, or W5 in short)
Summary – He'd hoped, in which you would still remember him, hoped you would still be in your normal, old self…but no, it's impossible now. There's no hope left for you to find the solution of the mystery that was yourself anymore. They would have to start over again it seemed…
This is the result of me letting my emotions and feelings took over my mind for a few weeks.(and that was months ago -.-) The longest one-shot (now a two-shot) I've ever written.
There's really not much of actual plot and maybe a little confusing to follow XD Also, beware of overwhelming emotions! Which is a lot in the story below! (The reason is in the paragraph above…)
I'm not an English speaker, so if you spotted any grammar or tense error, tell me ^^
***The extremely weird writing style was used, and emotions running wild! You've been warned.***
And very important notes at the end, please read…
Enjoy! :D
*MUST READ*
What – Narrator(s)'s POV (Sort of)
What and 'What' – The first character's thoughts.
"What" – The first character's dialogues.
'What' – The second character's thoughts.
"What" – The second character's dialogues.
In case you (would) confused with pronouns they represent themselves.
1st character as 'I' and 'Me'
But will be 'You' instead in 2nd's and narrator's POV
2nd character will be 'He'
And narrator(s) will call themselves (?) 'We'
Who I am? Who am I? What am I?
What's my name? Do I have name? Did I ever have a name?
What's happened? What just happened? What had happened?
"…"
Who I am used to be? Who would I be? Who should I be? Who must I be?
Where I am? Where is this? Where is here?
Why am I here? Why I am even here? Why?
Who you were now, that was what mattered right now…
"…"
What? Won't someone tell me why? Could you just tell me?
We shouldn't, we couldn't, we wouldn't…we mustn't tell…
"…"
Would anyone tell me? You have to… say something, I beg of you…please?
We couldn't answer your questions…you would have to find them yourself…
"…"
What I have to do? What should I do? What can I do?
Where should I go? Which direction should I start? Where am I supposed to go?
What I have to find? Where should I begin? Where is my destination?
"…"
We saw you began to walk then you gradually walking faster and faster until you started to run…
We saw you stopped at somewhere, it looked like the front of someone's house and we saw your gleaming eyes which tried to inspect where you were standing…
We saw as you tried to remember, but there was only the darkness surrounding your mind…so this place didn't seemed to ring a bell to you…
What is this place? I don't recognize it at all…Where I am?
Why I stopped here anyway? Why I chose to stop…? Is there something about this place?
We and you suddenly heard a sound coming from your right; it made a chill running down your spine…aside from us since we couldn't felt anything…
What? A sound? Where is that sound coming from?
With a sound of human's footsteps came closer and louder…in every seconds…
Who's that?!
"Who is this?" Owner of the voice called out while still walking to you.
What made you surprise were that the person you'd saw seemed to be a young man, maybe around your age, wore a simple blue shirt and gray jeans. You couldn't saw his face because of the dark and the black cap he wore that concealed his face, hidden in a shadow…
What were you going to do then?
When the man had finally standing in front of you. He asked again."Oh, it's you… What are you doing here?"
We saw you hesitated to answer at first, which was when another person smiled at you, that friendly smile made you relax and then you realized…
Wait a minute! H- He knows me?!
What should I say? I know next to nothing about myself…Should I ask him?
What if he is an enemy? I should start with simple question to make sure—or should I keep quiet and go along with him for a while?
With anxiety, you suddenly…unconsciously half-stuttered—half-blurted out. "E-Eh Do you k-know me-e?" Great, I just ruined it…
We noticed you began to fiddled with the hem of your coat, waiting for an answer.
"What are you talking about? Of course I know you! How can I forget someone so unique like you, huh? What do you want?" The other teen asked, he had noticed your strange behavior, but his mind was thinking about the question you just blurted out.
'Why you ask something like that? Don't tell me you—'
"W-Well…I just...are you somehow my f-friend?" You continued to stuttered, snapped him out of his thought.
"What's wrong with you? Why do you ask that?" He was angry, because that he knew you couldn't remember him anymore. But also felt the sorrow, to saw you in this state; confused, lost and so vulnerable…
"What?" He is irritating, did I say something wrong? I guess I should wait for him to calm down first and ask later then… You thought, and then you just dismissed it as a joke of some sort by a wave of your left hand. "Ah, never mind…just forget I said that."
Why does he looks so familiar? Is he really my friend? Acquaintance?
Who is he?
We could saw that he didn't seem convinced—of course he knew something definitely was wrong and he knew what it was, but instead of asking, he changed the subject. "Now that you are here, do you want to come in or not?"
With recognition…So this is his house…Wait a moment! Did he just invite me in his house?You thought in realization that he'd just persuade you into his—the stranger's house.
We saw you replied, "If you don't mind…" then you followed the guy into his house…
What such a gullible person you were now…?
When you two entered the house, the host went straight to the kitchen, but not before he asked "The usual?"
Without knowing what another teen said, you went along with it. "Of course" and walked to the room you assumed it to be the living room…
'While I am waiting here, might as well go explore…'
While he had been preparing the drinks in the kitchen, we could clearly saw his face changed from upset and annoyed into more of solemn, combined with sad and longing expression. He glanced back at you who'd standing up from the sofa. 'You think I'd never notice? You've underestimated me yet again…also…
'What have you done to deserve this? What did you do back then? You don't even remember me anymore…but…'
'Well…at least you still have that oh-so-precious thing with you…so it would be alright soon, I guess… thinking about being alright… I should help him a bit then…'
With a small grin on his face, he grabbed the drinks and silently walked back to the living room…
Waiting for the other teen to came back; you began to look around, scanning the room.The room looked plain, ordinary furniture like most living rooms should have…except there was no picture, not a thing that could tell or indicated about the owner, about the family…anything…no wonder though, as we knew why it was like as it was now.
Well, aside from that, everything else seemed normal- no– maybe too normal.
Who were sane enough wouldn't think that, but to you…this room was definitely not normal. The atmosphere was extremely uncomfortable, like water's pressure, felt like you were drowning-
"What are you searching for?"
'Wha-' Startled, you jerked your head to the direction the voice came from. When did he come back here?! I can't even hear his footing!
"What are you talking about? Searching? I didn't-I just-" He interrupted you. "I know what you're doing alright; I want to ask you why you didn't ask me since I'm sure that you know I knew something you didn't…" He tilted his cap (He was still wearing it.) downward and grinned. "I'm not stupid you know…"
With widened eyes, but calmed down quickly after the shock, you finally admitted. "I'm searching for my memories, about who I am, where I am…everything about myself."
"With the memories, I can't help you about that, but I will do whatever I can then." Though he already knew you would try to ask him that question, but…'Unfortunately, I can't tell you 'cause it against the rule...'
"What do you mean by that? You seem to know me well from when you talk to me, so why not tell?" You asked.
"We were forbidden, not to tell, especially to you."
"Why? And what do you mean by 'we'?" Puzzled with the pronoun he used.
"What? Do you think I'm your only friend? Because I'm not! And why doesn't matter…we just can't…"
"Who told you not to tell then?" You asked again in curiosity.
With hesitation, he didn't want-didn't know what to answer to that question, but now that it came to this rate…no turning back now… so he answered. "Y-You"
While you were still processing the meaning of that statement, he continued. "Your mind, we are actually a part of your memories. Basically you are in this world because your body is in the state of coma. You thought this is the real world, but it wasn't. You couldn't find your memories, because you're already in it." He finished with a sigh.
"Why I can't remember then, if I'm in my own mind? And how I ended up in coma and now here, this world…in the first place?" You asked again, still confused.
"We only knew what you memories knew and we couldn't find any on that part, so I don't know either." He shook his head in disappointment.
"Well…I'm apparently stuck in here?" You said sarcastically. You weren't a type of person who would believe these kinds of crazy theories. But now you had to, to find a way out of wherever you were and he was your only lead you had…
"Wait, do you feel anything strange or weird since you're here?" He asked hopefully and also somehow…regretfully.
We watched you realized that…yeah, you'd felt very uncomfortable in here when he was not in the room, but when he came back in… the weird sensations were suddenly gone. He is the owner of this house after all, so that maybe why…even though it doesn't make any sense, but considering where I am, maybe it did after all…
Withdrawn from your thoughts, you answered him. "I did feel something, actually, when I entered this room I felt as if I was underwater—like I was drowning, but when you came back, it was all gone."
We saw he thought for a while. The silence was there, trying to swallow you and him whole and made everything became completely muted, but before it could, he replied calmly. "That's a sigh then..." He paused for a second. "You're going to wake up soon…"
We could tell that he wasn't feeling calm at all. It was obvious. We didn't even have to look at him. His mind was filling with swirl of emotions, they were overwhelming, even us felt them desperately trying to pour out of his heart. He was trying to hold his tears for falling. He shouldn't—couldn't have felt like that, it did not fit his character... 'You're gonna be alright, right? But then you're also going to…
…forget everything…about me…
…..about us…'
We could see his already feeble, fragile heart began to crack more and more. He couldn't take it anymore…it was too much, even for a person who had always pretends to be strong with those fake smiles of his. For him who had abandoned everything…
Well-being, happiness, innocence, he'd left them all behind…
What was such a predicament of losing someone important to him was something he had always expected, from experiences, from what he'd seen, and from his chasing-hunting mission. He had never expected this to happen. Forgotten, lost, and confused, which he'd never seen them in you before. They were there; plastered all over your face, and they did not suit you at all…
With that, his mask—his facade had finally shattered for not-actually-the-first and a long time since he'd been watching over you…
With that said, you'd finally noticed that his eyes were darken, you could saw the sorrow, the longing—and regret? Why? They were shimmering like he was going to broke down in tears, but suddenly they were all gone…replaced with the smile—sad small, fake smile…so familiar…
When you saw it, made you felt like you were shot in the heart. You had missed the major…main point completely…
We sighed. How could you have forgotten something important like that?
What is this feeling? Why am I feeling this? But you couldn't seem to remember where you saw that kind of smile before. So there's no longer hope for you it seemed…
"Why are you—a-are you crying..?" You asked hesitantly. You weren't sure if he actually was crying or it was just his imagination, though you'd doubted the latter. It was obvious now…
Without him realizing it, a single tear began rolling down his left cheek and dropped down on the back of his left knuckle. Although inside of him, it was not just a single tear—it was a river, a sea, an ocean, or whatever bigger, wider and deeper than all of those combined. He lowered his head, bangs fell down to cover his eyes, despite that and the cap he was still wearing, it didn't help him pushed those emotions away to where he wanted them to be at all…
Wiped the almost invisible tears away, it was miracle the words which had came out of his quiver mouth still audible. "T-That's not what you should concern about…"
We and you could have sworn that no—it surely no nothing with that seemingly reassuring words at all. He was hiding something from you and you were almost certain that it was something about you.
With calm and thoughtful face as ever, you asked again, confirming your theory. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Well yes, you would ask him, but do you think he would want to talk about it? Maybe no…Maybe yes... "F-Fine" He'd stopped trembling now, but there were still a few silent hiccups before he calmed down enough to continued. "It's just that—you're going to go anytime soon and I just—you would forgot all about this anyway and this place—everything here will be gone along with you, I shouldn't be sad like I'm now and say a proper farewell, right?" He said quickly, though after that, he continued to mumbling quietly to himself. "…but I don't want you to go and forgot me again…"
Words went too fast and in low voice, that you didn't even hear him muttered. Still, even just that what you had heard didn't make you convinced. But then, if he didn't really want to talk about it, you shouldn't press him more. You were lucky enough he'd talked to you that he would miss you if you're gone (indirectly, but still, he did miss you, there's no denying it...)
"Well then…" You resisted the urge to ask what was really concerning him. I shouldn't interfere. He looks uncomfortable to pours his heart out, so I will leave him be—
—What? What am I thinking? Ah, that feeling again…the familiarity…but I can't remember…
…Where have I felt this before?
…..What does it mean?
"Well what?" It looked like he's back in control, to his composure again. In our opinion, he'd been really out of character back then…
When or how you could came back from your wonderland, that, we didn't know, but we finally heard you answered him after a long pause and long silence which had formed between them for a second time.
"Where are we now? Oh yes, I'm going to say that when I woke up, we will meet again anyway, aren't we? So please, don't be sad anymore, I don't like it." You stated reassuringly. You were certain, for some reason that, you and he will definitely meet again soon. Yeah, soon, but it would be sooner that you thought. He'd been waiting for you and had stayed with you all this time, hoping for you to wake up. Although some part of him also hoped you'd never wake up ever again.
Why's that?
We and he himself had known from the start…
When you wake up, you would became another person completely, were turned to a stranger. You would never be the same one he used to see every day at school, never the same he used to talk to, and never the same you who he loved and cherished with every part, every cells of his still beating heart...
Which was why he didn't agree with you? No, he agreed, but not entirely. 'It would never be the same...never feels the same and…I might lose you again…sooner or later. If you didn't recognize me then it was possible, that you would never came back to me…' He swallowed mentally. He'd hoped, in which you would still remember him, hoped you would still be in your normal, old self…but no, it's impossible now. There's no hope left for you to find the solution of the mystery that was yourself anymore. They would have to start over again it seemed…
"We know" He said, for his friends who were still waiting for him to come back 'If it what we have to do, so be it.' And brought you with him…out of this empty, dull world…
We waited while you two didn't say anything after that serious and seemingly emotional conversation. You just sit there, in the living room in silence. Time ticked by and you're still waiting, until someone broke this disturbingly voiceless not-speaking contest…
"Why are you so out of character?"… It was that mysterious boy who did.
"What do you mean?" You asked, puzzled.
"We all noticed it. You really don't remember anything, do you? You're talking style, your usual gestures...something like that?" He asked.
We saw you wondered. Were you really out of character? Yes, you were. Did he aware that he was also out of his character too? We thought he's not even noticed he was. "Erm..No?"
While he was thinking, and mentally face-palming, 'If you can't even remember that then…who are you now?' he was too focusing on you as he couldn't have felt that this world had already started to collapse. But it was you who noticed the vibration so you stood up and asked him. "Say, do you feel…something?" You asked uncertainly.
"What?" He then finally sensed it too. "Oh, it's time already?" He wondered aloud and standing up too. He formed a gentle—genuine smile this time and said to you in the most sincere, endearing voice we and you had ever heard coming from his mouth.
"….We will see you soon…on the other side…" Before what you were seeing seemed brighter as luminous but gentle white light began to shined, illuminating the room, as this memories-lacked world began to crumble…
While the structure of the walls which were disappearing, the floor you standing were cracking, as everything was slowly fading away…
What was surprising for us was that one thing still in its rightful place…
…was a picture of him still smiling at you, like it was usual of him to smile like that always, like the time had stopped right there and then. His eyes were gleaming with hope and determination as you briefly noticed his cap was gone, when or how, that no one would ever known. Now that you had seen them, those glittering blue-gray mixed with a tint of purple kind of eyes, that dark brown hair which unruly beyond a lion's mane on a wild, they're so beautiful—that you couldn't took you eyes off of him, not even for a second.
Well…in the end…these would all disappear…into spectrum of dusts…flew with the wind…and never came back…ever again…
While we couldn't take all these precious memories back, we would have to make sure we would meet again, would know each other again…
We will reunited again…even if we got separated… it's our eternal promise, right?
Without knowing, we saw you unconsciously smiled back, it was just felt so right…before everything turned completely white, and we all were engulfed by the light as were transferring back to our world—real world.
"Welcome back…"
Welcome back to our cruel, tearful reality…
We were watching in the distance, far enough that you wouldn't have sensed our existence as you had slowly opened your eyes. You blinked once, blinked twice, and blinked again as you were trying to focus your blurring vision of your eyes. It took awhile, but we guessed now you could see the purely white room you were currently in.
Where am I? A Hospital? You were lying in a hospital bed, as a patient no less…didn't you noticed? Perhaps you still couldn't clearly see? You were apparently at hospital, silly you. Had your brain malfunctioned from when you had re-associated with him?
Well…that's unsurprisingly possible...
With him being him, we wouldn't even blinked our eyes if you happened to had lost your mind completely by just talked to him, but you didn't and that's a good thing. Your current situation had been bad enough for us to worry and we—well, he too—didn't want more trouble to deal with right now…
While you were glancing around the room, there was a quiet sound of a door opening and closing, though you were more concentrated on inspecting a window on the left of you for the reason why we hadn't and didn't really care to know, as you didn't noticed someone had entered the room.
"Wake up already?" The intruder—no, more like a visitor suddenly asked, made you jumped lightly, clearly distinct in the visitor's sharp gaze. You quickly turned yourself to the direction of the sound, didn't feel any pain when you did so. Then you looked up and…
What you saw made you shell-shocked, bewildered as you traced your eyes that person down from head to toe. It was him.
We desperately wanted to say that yes, it was him, but we couldn't—not when we were still in this state.
What we could only do was watched in silence…and letting the scenes played themselves. We were only an observer here.
Well…back to the pair. It seemed they had been staring to each other for awhile now. In a split second later, you finally spoke in low voice. "If I was still sleeping then I wouldn't be able to have a conversation with you like I am doing now, right?" Noted a little sarcasm—not as much as before..but…okay.
We saw the boy's mouth had quirked into a tiny, playful smirk in some kind of amusement before he replied back. "Heh, you seem to have gained some of your old traits back." Then it'd turned into that comforting smile again. How can he always smile like that as if everything is alright? As if those weird thing was nothing? You wondered. Wait? How did he know about that anyway? The guy in that place was not exactly this one, right?..Right?
With confusion began to build itself up in your brain. "Is that so?" You asked. "But how did you know? That I've lost my memories?"
"Woah, don't tell me you have completely believed everything I told you? He said in disbelief. "Really? Haha, I made all that up. Actually I don't know where or how you're memories have gone to either, a part about you were in coma was true though." We wanted to laugh out loud at that, but they hadn't been able to hear us anyway, so inconvenient. "And how, you asked?" He started, trying to resist an urge to laugh like we almost were.
"Well that guy you saw was really real me. My natural-enemy-turned-friend had helped me to transfer myself into your consciousness-something and I was in there, secretly watching you until you found me, and then I came out with you and now here I am, is this short enough?" He finished with a snicker, amused. "Quite. Even as I do enjoy having a conversation with you and don't want to cut this short, but…" You paused, looking a bit more of who you once were—an almost impossible mission to accomplish.
"What should we do now?" You asked as if there's no anything else to asked, but we knew you wanted to ask more than just this—a lot of questions if we had to guess, but now not the time. Although, we'd never thought you would be the first to finally spoke that particular question and not him, we still had been able to continue with that though as he answered in uncharacteristic, inimitable voice we and you rarely heard, it had been able to claimed you heart to his and his only.
"We will rebuild, we will recreate…we will never once again get separated…so…"
We heard each words rhythm into a melody, resounded inside your mind, while the others sounds had never seemed to reached your ears. The sun ray had shined down to both him and you as if we're in the theater, watching you two playing the romantic soap opera, but we hadn't cared of anything around us….right now, nothing could've took these two apart anymore…
"Whoever you are now…let's starting over, for one more time, shall we?"
Questions Time!
As you can obviously see (Of course you can see, or you wouldn't read this right now…), I didn't put the names of these two characters in purpose for this little game which is…
I want you to answer my questions that I'm going to ask you.
– What are the names of two characters in the story?
(The first character's gender hadn't been identified and was a little out of character because of amnesia, so it should have at least two answers, right? But if you completely understand my intention, you would know who actually it was.)
And
– What is their relationship in here?
(I think this one was obvious though…)
(If you want more challenge—you don't have to answer this one though…Can you guess who actually are 'We'? If you got this one then you must have read my mind, since We's POV was very messed up there XD But it's not hard than you think, I'm pretty sure you would be able to guess this one if you got the two answers above right.)
You have to read the story, thoughts and dialogues carefully and deduce the answer. (There're some major hints in there too.)
Write your answers in the review, I will post the right answers with an explanation (to clear the confusions I'm certain you would have.) in another chapter next week, so you won't get spoiled when you read this after the next week passed…
And if you love solving riddles, there's my another fic 'Solving Riddles', they are easier (or harder?) than this one…
Lastly…
I really don't know how I could write this until the end. Such a challenge indeed…With every paragraphs start with W, this used really (too) long time to finish...
Review and favorite too! I want to hear your opinions and maybe some constructive criticism is also welcome, so that I can improve!
Good Luck! :D
- JarayZ
Ps. Waah~ Such a messed up mind I had up there, hah?~