I know that it has been quite a trend in fanfiction to continue this part of new moon from their respective writing styles. So although I know this may have been done a lot of times, I'm a great fan of angst-y stories. I'll ask you to please give mine a chance. If I continue this I'll try to keep it up to standard. Though I assure you that after this chapter they'll be a major skip of 6 months in the timeline of the story. New moon is better the way Stephenie wrote it but I always felt that the ending was a bit unrealistic. So here we go….

All characters and a few lines from this fic belong to Stephenie Meyers. No copyright violation is intended

Music inspiration for this chapter is 'What about love- Austin Mahone'

Prologue: The lie…

"What about love?" she asked tears welling up in her doe brown eyes. I stared back paralyzed with guilt and regret. "I'm sorry but I don't love you. It was a lie…. We're a lie", I forced the words out before I could change my mind. "But you promised…you promised. I know you! You won't leave", it seemed she was trying to convince herself more than me. I took advantage of that insecurity and spoke the words I had to, all the while my heart breaking piece by piece. "I lied….You're just not good enough for me. We've had our time. Now I want to move on and I'm tired…..tired of pretending to be something I'm not. I'm not human and you're just not enough."

She looked at me for a moment, all the pain and hurt flashing in those soulful eyes. Once I had been glad that through her eyes I was able to catch glimpses of her emotions and thoughts, something that subdued my mad-man curiosity for the knowledge of her thoughts. Right now I couldn't have wished otherwise more. It was hard enough to deal with my trampled heart and adding her emotions to the mix, I was surprised at my ability to stand straight and keep my veneer without crumpling to the ground like the broken man I had become.
"Ok….ok."

The words were so quiet that even with my enhanced hearing I was only able to catch them because I had been concentrating on her face, her beautiful resigned face.

"You're right Ed..Edward", she swallowed my name painfully as if it painful to speak it out loud. My heart broke further and my strong wave of self-hatred washed over me. "I know I'm not enough for you. I'll let go if that's what you want".

I could see the tacit admission of defeat in her shoulders. She looked so fragile, breakable even more so than usual. "That's what I want," I cringed at the blasphemous lie coming out of my mouth.

A silent sob racked through her and I chocked trying to hold back my whimpers. I knew that it was considered disgraceful for men to cry but right now I couldn't care less. I held every agonizing emotion inside knowing that doing this was most crucial, for her sake and for her safety. I was a drowning man holding onto the only buoy of safety left in my ocean, which was hope. Hope that she'd move on and find someone better than me. Someone human who could love her without restraint, someone with a soul, someone she'd be able have a family with. However the next words were easier to get out and I spoke them with sheer determination which kindled inside me.

"But promise me one thing. Just one thing."

"Anything", she vowed and I could see it in her eyes that she meant the words, which thawed some of the ice inside me.

"Don't do anything reckless…..Stay safe. For Charlie's sake." And mine.

She nodded once quickly. "I suppose that's it then….. We're leaving and we won't disturb you anymore. Stay safe and live a happy life….," she interrupted me suddenly in hysterics.

"We're! Alice is also leaving?" this time tears fell from her eyes piercing my heart again and again.

"She's already gone….. all of them are gone", I replied quietly hoping to calm her down with my soothing tone. I flinched, nothing was soothing about this.
"Alice didn't say goodbye," she mumbled to herself. Her hysterics had subsided replaced with anguish and emptiness. My insides mirrored her emotional turmoil however on an a more intense level.

I owed Alice some redemption for how she had sacrificed her best friend for my opinion of right and wrong. "She wanted to say goodbye. I didn't let her…. I convinced her that a clean break would be more beneficial for you."

"Clean break," she repeated the words numbly as if she was unable to comprehend what I was saying.

"I suppose that's it then. Goodbye Bella. I love you," I whispered the last part as a quasi-whisper. Low enough that her human ears wouldn't be able to hear them but just because she didn't hear them didn't mean that I dint mean them. I loved her, more than my own life, more than anything. I loved her more than my selfish dreams of forever with her. I could not….would not condemn her to a soulless existence.

Just as I was about to leave the small clearing where we stood she cried out.

"Stop!," she reached for me.

It took every ounce of strength inside me to hold the arms that reached for me and pin them to her sides. I kissed her forehead once, quickly and departed to my doomed existence with a two words which would grant me whatever little peace of mind I could have, "Be safe."

I ran, as fast as my legs carried me but even with supernatural strength it seemed slow. The world spun around me but I kept on running until I knew that I could no longer ignore the grief and I collapsed on the ground, letting the paroxysm of sobs and pain engulf me. I went under hoping and wishing, I'd never resurface.

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live- Norman Cousins

Give me a holler if anyone wants me to continue this fic. This will not be a new moon story told another way. After this chapter I'll be skipping the timeline to 6 months later in Bella's bedroom where Edward asks for forgiveness. This is just a prologue of sorts.