Title: Poisonous

Author's Notes: This is a back story to Nnoitra and Neliel just because I realized it seemed really blurry and needed development. It will probably help the main story go along smoothly. The main story line for this is actually GrimmIchi in my other story, "Strawberry heart attack". I thought this could be a stand-alone oneshot I want you to feel bad for Nel. I used some random characters' names for other people in the story. Remember, this chapter is souly dedicated to Nnoinel.

Warnings: Nnoinel, hentai, bad words, abuse/rape, intensity, pathos, abusive ainel, explicit miscarriage scene, and I mean really abusive and explicit, pretty OOC, some sad parts, and feels.

Who knew that some girl like me would end up the way I did? Never did I ever think of myself as unlucky… because I ended up with a man whose name will be forever engraved in my heart. But, I wasn't originally with him. No, let's just say that my life had its downs and even points when the roller coaster crashed and landed sideways.

At first, my life used to be peaches and creams. I had a two little brothers and a little sister. Their names were Halibel, Yylfordt, and Szayel. We were quite the lively bunch. My parents, Gin and Rangiku, lived happily together with us. We were rich, to say the least. Every day, we dwelled in extraordinary living conditions. One day, while out on a date with my love of my life at the time... I came home to smoke.

And there lay everyone's bodies in a larger-than-life inferno. Every single person i loved, burned to ashes before my very own eyes... And that was when my life started dying.

Sousuke offered to keep me. Embracing me, he told me that he'd be there for me. I believed every single, sugary, poisoned word he told me. From that day on, I followed him home. It was almost as if I asked to become his dog and do whatever he wanted to do with me. For a long time, he treated me like a queen, while I coped with my loss. We decided to get married because he said he wasn't ready for that kind of commitment, which did frighten me. But he assured me, we'd be together soon enough.

Although he demanded sex on a regular basis, I never once questioned his intentions. My loyalty to him was unquestionable. He'd call me his princess when he pressed his lips against my hips and tongue in all the forbidden places.

Everything went smoothly for a year and a half but then everything my world started reshaping itself once more. It all started one morning when I became sick. At first, we thought it was some sort of stomach troubles like food poisoning or a slight stomach bug. But I began to question it and took a pregnancy test myself. As soon as the little red plus appeared, I felt my heart skip a beat. Trying not to show my nervousness, I confronted Sousuke with a smile on my face. I remember how the conversation went clearly.

"I-I'm…"

"You're…?" he raised an eyebrow at me, still smiling.

"I'm pregnant…"

His eyes became wide and I thought he was gonna start yelling with ecstasy. But he responded with a simple, "Oh," he tilts his head, "that's good."

To tell the truth, I was a little bit disappointed that I didn't get a better reaction from him. From that day on, he held me especially close to him. It almost seemed too close for comfort except the fact that we were lovers so I didn't want him or me to get the wrong ideas. One arm was always around my hips, I felt so loved. Everything was going fine, or at least as fine as it was supposed to be, through the first trimester.

One morning, it was probably around 3 or 4 in the morning actually. I was about to get up to go to the bathroom but I saw Sousuke sitting at the edge of the bed with his cellphone. I was gonna get up casually but I heard his voice sounded dangerously low.

"I- no shut the fuck up!" his voice boomed but not in the matter of volume, "I don't care, she's mine and I get her inheritance after I marry her. I don't give a shit, she's mine and I can do what I want. Now, we wouldn't want that kid that she's gonna have to be fatherless? Besides…"

He chuckled a little bit, "I already took charge of her father's company.

It struck me at that moment… I forgot, Sousuke worked right underneath my father. Of course, when my parents' death came along, he must've been a little happy, after all he's the new head. For a moment there… I thought he'd kill my parents but I shook myself out of that thought as soon as I got it. This man was scaring me more and more. But I didn't take any of these things to heart. I didn't mind giving my inheritance money to him as long as he'd agree to take care of the child on the way because in my mind, he or she was the most important to me then.

Maybe I found it a little bit possessive but I did not like the way he referred to me. The next day, I acted completely normal, maybe a little bit colder than usual but not noticeably. Sousuke went to work and I stayed at home trying to entertain myself.

One day, in a similar situation, I started to give myself a little bit of freedom. Actually, I was going to go get groceries. I went out and got the groceries since we were running low. I didn't tell him that I was going out. While I was at the store I noticed some guy staring at me, I really tried to ignore it. Something about the other guy struck me. Maybe it was his abnormally tall height or pole like structure. Maybe it was his shoulder length silky hair. He kept groaning to himself every time he saw me looking at him.

But, I kept my cool. After a few minutes, he walked up to me and asked, "I have a photo shoot I need to do. And, don't think of this as anything, but I still haven't found anyone but I need someone who's got a baby bump."

He stared down and it made me blush. I answered, "Sure… I guess so, when and where?"

He took a deep breath, "Just meet me at the nearby park at noon tomorrow." I was leaning backwards on the glass in the frozen section. It was cold against my palms. He looked at me, observing my face really clearly.

"I think you'll make my career," he said slowly.

It was nice to have seen someone who gave me real attention. I liked his eyes a lot too. Never would I ever flirt while knowing that I belonged to someone else. But this guy, did he back out? No, of course not, he leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek.

Then he smiled, "I just thought I'd cover the costs in advance."

At that moment, someone caught my eye at standing at the end of the aisle. It was Sousuke…I knew right then and there that this was gonna open a hole in the ground and our relationship was going to plummet to even worse situations. I stood there, shocked, realizing the amount of anger that was burning in his eyes.

"S-Sousuke…" I stuttered, on the verge of tears.

This guy who was standing in front of me turned around and clicked his tongue. "So, she belongs to you?"

The nerve of this guy… I couldn't stand it and I put up with a lot of stuff.

Sousuke grabbed me by my arm harshly. There was no question in his grip. Not only did his grip make my arm go shades of purple, his nails dug into my skin to create the perfect scene.

"Sousuke!" I yelled at him.

"Shut up, bitch! What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" He screamed at me.

The tall man standing in front of me grabbed Sousuke by the hand and put a skin tight grip on it. Turning to me, he said, "Name's Nnoitra Jiruga."

"Neliel… Neliel Tu Oderschvank."

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" My boyfriend immediately snapped at Nnoitra, "You can't tell me what I do with what's mine!"

What's his? Yes. I've been referred to his as long as I remember. I wasn't a human, clearly. I was just some plaything.

"She's not a fucking thing, you bastard."

"Oh yeah, but she's still mine!"

"I hate it when men aren't man enough to take that job on."

"That's not my problem, you little shit, let go of me."

"Let go of her."

Sousuke released my arm in a faked innocence, "I released her, what are you gonna do now? Are you gonna steal her?"

His tone scared the crap out of me.

"Maybe," Nnoitra smirked.

"We're fucking done here," Sousuke grabbed my arm and rushed me out.

I turned around and caught Nnoitra giving me a little wave. There was no joking about the deep shit I was going to be in. The car ride was quiet; he slammed the car pedals harder than he normally would have and avoided my eyesight the entire time. Even though he was a good driver, he was honking at everybody that crossed his path. When we got home, he let himself out of the car, didn't even turn back once and slammed the door shut. I walked inside, slowly. This stress was unbelievable and it was emotional exhausting. Not to mention all of the stairs I had to climb because he took the elevator. I opened the door to our penthouse cautiously, nervousness in every step I took. Sousuke was just sitting there.

In less than a second he grabbed my wrist and held it over my head and pressed me against the wall.

"S-Sousuke… What are you doing?"

"Don't fuck around with me."

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't know he would do that!"

"You knew… You slut. You probably threw yourself all over him. Didn't you? Didn't you?!"

He pulled himself back from my neck.

"This isn't going to work is it?" he told himself. Huffing loudly and not releasing the tense grip on my wrist one bit, he dragged me over to the railing on our balcony. Mind you, we lived in a penthouse 12 stories up.

My stomach was right underneath the railing so if it was pushed against the railing, it would press down on my uterus. Being bent over the railing hurt so much. Sousuke didn't stop there. He bit my neck, hard. Not even nipping, he pierced the flesh, enjoying every single drop against his lips. I felt the crimson liquid pour out and drip down over my neck and onto the cold railing. One hand slipped underneath my dress and over onto my breasts and he clutched them with his nails leaving small red marks all over them.

"S-stop, Sousuke, the baby!"

"Shut up, bitch. I don't care about the fucking baby."

"Ha-ahh! Stop!" I struggled but I was bent over 120 feet. If he let go of me, I would fall off.

"You need a lesson. Someone needs to teach you whose bitch you are," he licked his lips, "I need to tell you something else. After that baby of yours is born, you better give me the inheritance. Because there's no way in hell I'm gonna marry you."

I gasped, and my breath got stuck halfway through my throat. The tears started rolling down my face. Why wouldn't he marry me? No wonder…

"I can't stick with one fucking person for this long. But you, you're rich, and you're pretty hot, so I stayed with you. You should count yourself as lucky."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing… how much more of an idiot could I be? I fell in love with a man who pulled a façade for the past two years. I didn't know anything about him. And this is the only thing that he wanted. Sex and money. He didn't want me or my happiness. Not even his own child. How could someone be so heartless?

I kept crying, trying to make as little noise as possible.

"I guess I'll have to take care of you until that thing of yours gets out of your stomach. Does he like it in there? Well, that's my spot, isn't it?"

The words in my mouth seemed to have fallen off the building. Vaguely, I heard the sound of a belt buckle coming undone and the sound of a zipper unzipping. Oh no. Not there. But it was too late, he leaned over into my ear, "This is my favorite part about you."

His hardened member prodded my pussy. It was rock hard. I just stood there, petrified. Both my hands were held back behind me so I was at his mercy if I were to survive.

"I wasn't gonna do this but if you insist on throwing yourself onto other men in public…" with that, he thrust in, hard. So hard that the railing pressed down onto my stomach and caused immense pain. I screamed.

"Stop! Please stop, please stop!" my screams were stifled through my crying.

"But I have to teach you a lesson, my dear," he slammed inside me once more. I could feel everything inside me push upwards. He started going faster and faster until he was going at an unbelievable speed. My chest was hanging over but all of my organs felt as if they were being pummeled between the cold steel and my baby. Before I knew it, I was immensely nauseous and my head was spinning. I hanged there, almost lifeless. Sousuke grunted as he smashed my vaginal wall once more. I felt something warm trickling down my thighs even though neither of us had cum yet so it had to have been blood.

"Ghh!" I vomited almost over the ledge but most of it fell on the pole and on the balcony. I was trying to catch my breath but I was still being knocked up. I thought I was gonna faint. My vision became hazy and I didn't beg anymore.

"Nngh, I'm gonna cum," Sousuke gritted his teeth and cummed inside of me.

"AhhhH!" I screamed with whatever energy I had left. Panting, Sousuke pulled my wrists back and landed backwards on the cold hard ground. After he caught his breath, he put his pants back on properly. Then, innocently, as if he didn't do anything, he picked me up, kissed my forehead, and carried me back to the bed. He sat himself next to me and leaned over and whispered, "I think you learned, but I'm sorry you had to learn this way."

My mind was in shambles, how something could like this happen to me. Every part of my body hurt, especially my stomach. I fell asleep because I was exhausted. I woke up shaking, I checked to see if Sousuke was next to me but all I found was a note saying that he had a late night call at work.

I put my hands up to my face and I cried; I cried my heart out that day. Who would've thought that I'd be in love with a monster? While I was crying, I noticed a pain growing in my abdomen. At first, I thought it was just a little bit of cramping, but then, the cramps started coming closer and closer together. As the night came to a close, the pains dulled down and I was able to get some sleep. At around noon, coincidentally enough, I felt ok enough to go to the park.

I left but the pain in my stomach started to grow back bit by bit. The weather was nice outside and surely enough, I saw Nnoitra sitting underneath a tree with his legs crossed. When he saw me, he turned to me and smiled a long smile. He got up and walked over to me and I took a step back.

"I didn't think you were going to show up," he chortled, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Well, a promise is a promise," I told him, lying through my teeth.

Surprisingly, he pulled me closer to him. Close enough so that he could whisper into my ear, "You wanted to see me because he did something terrible to you, huh?"

I choked back tears and just nodded my head. Pulling on my happy-go-lucky attitude I said, "Anyways! We can start, right?"

"Ok," he signaled with his hand and a young-looking boy came out. He had the most prominent blue hair I'd ever seen. It seemed odd even standing next to my teal hair.

"Grimmjow, set all the stuff up!" Nnoitra called to him.

"That's my brother," he told me. I watched Grimmjow set up all of the camera stuff that we needed for shooting in a moment's time.

"Just stand there," Nnoitra told me as he held up his camera.

I did as I was told and he told me that I looked pretty in the dress and even without makeup I was a natural. The compliments felt good but at the same time I felt like I was being mocked. Strangely enough, the pain in my abdomen went from dull to sharp and sometimes I couldn't pull of the poses they asked me too. I thought I was gonna fall over by the time the photo shoot was done. The pain was unbearable as it shot through both ends of my body like a poisonous arrow. I cringed a little and held my stomach.

"You ok?" Nnoitra asked me.

"…Yeah… I think I just need to use the bathroom." I went into the recreational building and Nnoitra followed me and said, "Well, I need the WiFi in there to get these pictures to the magazine."

I went into the ladies room and it was completely empty and quiet save the occasional dripping water. I found myself a stall as quickly as possible and sat down. The cramps were really bad and I didn't know what I was getting myself into. After about five minutes of straining, I started bleeding. I thought someone had torn my legs apart because that's how much it hurt. I tried to stand up but fell to the ground and looked over into the water. And I felt completely empty and my hand started patting around where my baby used to be. But when I looked into the water, I almost had a heart attack and I screeched I toppled over, still bleeding, and fell on the latch of the stall, unlocking it.

"Ha-ahh my-my… my baby?!" The blood loss made me lose consciousness and fall over completely.

This was when I realized… what Sousuke did… he killed someone, someone who shared his blood and my blood. Only months away from opening his eyes to the new world and making me a mother.

I could've done something with my life. I could've been that mother that I'd lost and had the family that I once had. Was it too much to ask for? Was it too fucking much to ask for to have someone that I'd lost back in my arms? That soul that I lost that day could've been the same one that if that hadn't happened, I would be holding in my arms, sweetly calling his name and listening to him gurgle and coo.

I woke up in the hospital bed, "Neliel. Neliel? Neliel?!"

The echoes of my name pounded against my eardrums. But I didn't wanna get up unless I was going to see my baby. It didn't sound like Sousuke… not at all… It sounded coarser and huskier. My arms were shaking, my legs shook, and my entire body fell into a tremor.

"D-Do i get my baby back?" I asked hopelessly even though I knew the answer to the fruitless question. I turned my head and I saw Nnoitra sitting there on the chair, face red.

"Please, can I please have my baby back?" I don't know what state of mind I was in but I kept begging, "I really wanna see him."

"Neliel…" I heard Nnoitra say softly. He must've pitied me… That crazy woman lying on the hospital bed, begging to resurrect someone.

"Please, doctor? Nnoitra? I just wanna hear him and feel his little hands—," I broke out crying. Nnoitra grabbed me and pulled me as close as he could. My life was such a pathetic story. Nnoitra's embrace didn't feel the slightest bit fake; it felt warm and real in the cold, unfeeling reality of the situation. Come back, please, I didn't want anything more than to hold him in my arms.

"I-I'm sorry," I heard the doctor, her voice was breaking too. She wiped away a stray tear from her eye. "He was gone… before you got here."

I started crying harder, my face was beet red and the crying was exhausting. I pounded my hand against Nnoitra chest filling his shirt with my tears. "Mommy, why would this happened to me?!"

I think I expected to hear her voice echo back in my head. I cried so much that I basically passed out on Nnoitra's shoulders.

Why anyone wouldn't understand my heartache was hard to understand, was it that hard to feel bad for me? What kind of fate was I born with, I lost my parents and then I lost my child. I had no one get love from and I had no one to love either. Crisper than the sunset was the hallucination of the gurgling and cooing in dream that I got in my head. I can't recall a day when I don't dream or think about that baby that I lost. In most dreams, I'm holding him close to me, cheek by jowl.

At the end of my stay at the hospital, I was wheeled out in a wheel chair. Even though Nnoitra wheeled me out, I saw Sousuke in the lobby; to be honest, I was deathly scared of him. I didn't wanna go anywhere near him and my face showed. I pulled back and pressed my back to the wheel chair.

Sousuke's words were less than comforting, but in a way, I wanted to hear them. He said, "My dear, you're too high maintenance, now I sincerely hope you don't file some police report against me. Seeing that you have no evidence, I guess I'll just leave then."

The blue haired boy ground his teeth together, "Bastard…"

Bastard was right. Sousuke just waved one arm and walked off like nothing had happened. Nobody could've been as Aizen Sousuke. My consciousness was still a little bit hazy.

"Neliel," I heard the blue haired boy by my side, "You have to do something about that piece of shit."

"No, I just don't wanna see his face," I told them honestly.

Nnoitra excused himself from behind the wheel chair and kneeled in front of me.

"Neliel, I won't ever let that happen to you. I know I've only known you for a week but… there isn't a moment that I don't wanna spend with you. There isn't a moment when I don't think about. I promise that I'll only do what you want in exchange for your love. We can live together… happily. I don't have a family either because they died leaving me and my brother and I want someone like you to share my life with. Please."

I just stared at him. My eyes started welling up like the clouds outside. When he finished a strike of lighting sparked through the sky. His words were so sincere. He was a person that was completely on the outside. It was clear that he cared about everyone that he was close to. I never have had any doubts about him, even to this day. Because that day, he knelt to the ground on one knee and said,

"Marry me, Neliel."

~So, I hoped you like that one really sad part where she was in the hospital asking to have her baby back. I started crying while writing it.

Since you're already at the bottom of the page, follow, favorite, review.