Be nice, I haven't written fanfiction in well over a few years. Any reviews would be great; even if they're observations about grammar. All writing for me is basically practice.
Isaac Lahey was an actor – he had been for quite some time. When Derek Hale approached him in the cemetery shortly after the Omega half scared him to death, offering a hand and a bite, a chance to take control of his life, to take the reins of his self into his own hands, he eagerly accepted. What were a few hunters to worry about when you had the strength to raise a fallen piece of machinery that weighed nearly a ton? What were a few hunters compared to the control Isaac would have over his own life? He would never have to bow to anyone again. He would never have to take another beating from his father or endure another night in that tight, cramped freezer, scratching at the walls until his nails cracked and his fingertips bled.
However, the power Derek offered him was deceptive. It was something he could only use in secrecy. It was power but the control of his life would never be fully his – he got over that illusion pretty damned quickly. The difference between his power and others' quickly came to light; the thrashing he received from Scott McCall in the ice-skating rink, the encounters with the hunters, the abuse administered by Derek while they were training, nearly being cut in half by Gerard, being stabbed repeatedly by Allison Argent, not being able to protect himself, Erica or Boyd from the Alpha pack – he couldn't even stand up to his own father after he received the bite, choosing to flee his home instead of dishing out the punishment he wanted so badly to give Lahey senior.
So Isaac had become an actor, and a damned good one. He put on a tough façade, an exterior shell of cockiness. Whoever saw him could swear that Isaac was fine. His smile was like a carapace. He recalled when he scratched the lockers with Erica and expertly threatened to kill Lydia in chemistry, telling Stiles with a twinge of sarcasm in his voice even the other teen would be jealous of. However, the truth was he didn't even know if he could've killed anyone, even if he were 100% sure he or she was the Kanima.
Isaac's acting wasn't flawless, however. His façade cracked every now and then, and he allowed his vulnerable exterior to show. Not a lot of people saw this though - Derek had on occasion, most specifically when Isaac had asked him about anchors for the change. And Isaac just couldn't pretend to be tough when Scott and Deaton had shown him how to use his powers to alleviate pain. He had been so shaken up by that demonstration that he'd even admitted to Scott that he was "lucky" because he had no one to protect. Isaac was just grateful Scott hadn't pushed him to talk more or brought it up later.
Well, at least he was somewhat grateful. All this pent-up anguish was not doing the beta well. Isaac was heavy hearted and felt like he was carrying the heaviest burden and it was crushing him. His chest felt hollow, as if someone had plucked his heart right out of it. Sometimes it felt like it had taken permanent residency in his stomach. His thoughts rarely strayed from the pack and the problems they felt on a daily basis. He missed when his greatest concern was when the next issue of his favorite comic book was coming out.
And of course, he was always thinking about how weak he really was.
Isaac still had his bike stored in a corner of Derek's lofty apartment and liked to take it out whenever he began to overthink these things. The past few days had been the epitome of dark for Isaac and Derek's pack – or what remained of them. Boyd had just been killed by the Alpha twins and Kali, and Derek was currently in a semi-catatonic state. Boyd had been nearly a brother to Isaac. He was Isaac's pack mate, he was Derek's third beta and technically the lanky teen's younger brother. Even if Isaac had been at Scott's for a while, he already missed Boyd on a daily basis.
Isaac decided to clear his head. He left Scott's without telling anyone exactly where he was going, as no one was home. He couldn't have responded in truth to his whereabouts anyways, he just wanted to get out. After aimlessly walking around for about half an hour, he mustered the courage to knock on the door to Derek's loft. His heart pounded in his chest, thrashing desperately against his ribs. He wasn't sure how his Alpha would react to him now. He sighed with relief when Peter opened the door.
"Isaac," he greeted the beta coolly. "It's nice to see you here. Do you wish to speak with Derek? I'm not quite sure how much speaking Derek is willing to do, however. My nephew's new hobby consists mainly of staring at the ceiling." Isaac swallowed dryly and shook his head no.
"I just came to grab my bike." Peter ushered him in, and he grabbed the bicycle, wary of the water stains on the floor and walls from the recently semi-flooded apartment. He wheeled the bicycle out the door. Peter silently followed him, and started sliding it back into place when Isaac stopped him.
"Is he okay?" Peter didn't need to be told Isaac was clearly inferring to Derek's state.
"No." He answered curtly. "His beta just died by his own hands. You're the only one left and you're not even here." Despite Peter and Derek's feuding over power, the uncle was clearly very protective of his nephew.
That was another thing Isaac failed at. He felt so small and weak – he couldn't even help Derek save Boyd. He couldn't even console his Alpha. He didn't have the smallest idea of how to start to. His swallowed over the lump in his throat and blinked as he tried not to tear up and Peter's sharp remark.
"I'm taking the bike to Scott's." Isaac mumbled, his voice hushed and to Peter, tinged with humility.
"Very well." Was Peter's response, sliding the door into place. "Have fun with young McCall." Isaac could hear it through the door with is augmented hearing. He wheeled the bike out to the street and hopped on, making his way to Scott's. He didn't want to go back, to have to put on his mask again, but he had nowhere to go and it was getting late. His legs pumped furiously, and for a few seconds Isaac missed the burn that used to accompany his frenzied pedaling. Nowadays, it was nearly effortless to ride the bike along at high speeds, even when using heavier gears. He was in front of the McCall household in barely any time, muttering a curse under his breath when Stiles' blue Jeep was parked in front of it. Scott left Isaac alone when he was quiet, yet Stiles' was the kind to pry and make sarcastic quips even if the beta growled he wanted to be left alone.
Isaac was so weak even Stiles wasn't afraid of him. He dropped the bike in the front yard, and as he reached out to open the front door, it swung on its hinges. Stiles and Ms. McCall yelped and jumped back as Isaac stood there, clearly not expecting him. Isaac grinned a bit at this – it made him feel slightly better – before stammering an apology.
"Isaac. You startled us." Melissa scolded him lightly. "Do you know where Scott is? Stiles came to see him but I just got in from a shift and have no idea where he could be."
Isaac shrugged and started to brush past them when Stiles reached out and grabbed him by the forearm.
"Are you sure you don't know where he is Isaac? I need to talk to him." His tone was urgent and his voice pleading. Isaac actually liked this desperate Stiles better than the sarcastic one. Seeing Stiles this down was making Isaac glum again. Still, it was comforting to know he wasn't the only person that was completely miserable tonight.
"I really don't know." He pulled his arm out of Stiles' grip and continued towards his room.
"Come with me look for him?" Stiles called out after Isaac. The young werewolf turned, eyeing the human quizzically. He pointed to himself and raised an eyebrow.
"Yes, you." Stiles scoffed and approached him. "I just don't wanna be there alone, and even a beta like you might make me feel safer." He smiled, but Isaac could tell that his heart was definitely not into it. Isaac tried to return a lopsided grin and ignored the quip. Melissa was eyeing him warily and looking absolutely exhausted, so Isaac figured it would be best to get out of her hair for a while.
"Okay." Isaac finally conceded solemnly. He joined Stiles in the blue Jeep and left Ms. McCall alone to relax. He wasn't quite at ease with Stiles, but their relationship had improved after he had given up on killing Lydia. Lacrosse had also helped with that as well, although Isaac, being wolfed out, was on the field a lot more than Stiles.
Isaac pulled the jeep's door open and for what he thought was the first time, climbed in next to Stiles. He was usually riding with Derek in the Camaro, and the Jeep surprised Isaac with the fact that it was much higher than the sports car. It also smelled differently – it smelled strongly of oil and rust, but also of Stiles. It wasn't a bad smell, but the beta didn't have time to process what he thought before he realized Stiles had started talking to him.
"I'm worried. Scott hasn't been answering his phone." Stiles bit his lip in an uncharacteristically preoccupied manner. "I need to speak with him."
"How many times has Scott not answered your calls, Stiles?" Isaac half grinned. "Whenever he's with Allison it happens. When you were in the pool with Derek almost drowning because of the Kanima he ignored you. To be frank, you're too nice about it. I would've definitely given Scott a hard time about that one." Stiles looked at him like he'd grown a second head.
"Thanks, that's helpful." His voice was tinged with sarcasm. "Plus, Allison and Scott aren't together anymore." Isaac shrugged.
"Even if Scott and Allison" he said the last name with as much distaste as he could muster, "aren't 'together' they're always around each other, talking and whatnot. " Isaac had already told Scott he didn't approve. Allison was a loose cannon. Her dad was dangerous and so was she. He remembered very distinctly getting hit by an arrow to the shoulder then slashed a couple of dozen times. The day she apologized Isaac had felt warmer towards her, especially as they played the prank on Aidan and Ethan, but Isaac was one to hold a grudge and he wasn't sure how long this one would last.
Stiles sighed in exasperation and pulled the Jeep to the curb. They were in the middle of nowhere, and Isaac had no idea where they were going. He looked around, trying to see if the stopping meant anything.
"Stiles, where are we? I don't think -" Isaac was cut off midsentence as the other teen opened the door to the Jeep and got out. Isaac followed, more perplexed than angry. He was also slightly annoyed by Stiles cryptic mannerisms this particular night.
"Stiles? Stiles?" By the time he got out of the Jeep the other teen had made his way to the other side of the road and walked through the woods to the clearing. Isaac suddenly realized where they were – it was the clearing that overlooked most of Beacon Falls, where Isaac, Scott, Derek, and Chris Argent had planned to entrap Boyd and Cora in the school. Stiles hadn't been here that night though, and Isaac had never returned. He found Stiles sitting on a rock that had a great view, but even as he approached from a distance he could hear Stilinski breathing heavily, coughing and hiccupping.
Isaac debated whether he should get closer and see what was happening with Stiles, if he should comfort him or leave him alone or what. He tried to remember what he craved when he felt down. He remembered Scott's arm on his, telling him to be careful when trying to inject Jackson. He remembered Deaton's arm on his, when showing him how to take away pain. He decided Stiles should at least have the same, someone there to comfort him, as trivial as Isaac was to Stiles.
He approached Stiles, who was sitting on the rock and still breathing heavily.
"Stiles? Stiles, how can I help?" The first time he saw Stiles' look of panic at the McCall residence, he felt a short burst of glee. Now he was genuinely worried at the boy's uncustomary behavior. He had never seen Stiles remotely like this. For the first time, Isaac considered that Stiles might don his sarcasm the way Isaac donned his tough façade as a mask. That Stiles was just as scared and vulnerable as he was. All this went through his mind as Stiles tried to regain his breath. The teen wiped his eyes on the back of his long sleeves, and hiccupped a few more times before clearing his throat. His eyes were still moist.
"Go ahead, call me a cry baby or something. I shouldn't have asked you to come anyways." Isaac was slightly offended that Stiles thought him that heartless. The association wasn't hard to make, he realized, when your alpha is Derek Hale and you've put on a cocky show yourself. But Stiles should know better, he had seen Isaac submerged and cowering in ice water, trying to recall where he had found Erica and Boyd. Then, he'd seen the beta under the bed, freaking out over a wolfsbane hallucination. He told Stiles so.
"So what if you get freaked out every once in a while?" His voice cracked and was filled with contempt. Isaac realized that it wasn't directed at him, but rather at himself. "You have strength. You have the power to change things."
Isaac smiled sadly. "Do you really believe that?" Stiles nodded fervently, and Isaac turned to Stiles, a question in his eyes.
"Then why didn't you take the bite? When Peter offered it to you." Stiles looked at him like he was crazy, like it was a crazy thing to ask.
"It was Peter. He was a murderer. I don't know, he still may be one." Stiles looked at the horizon and a laughing tone crept into his voice. "Plus you know, my dad. I'm not that fucked up that I'd take the bite like that." Stiles quickly realized his mistake when Isaac looked at him, slight hurt is his eyes.
"Sorry," he apologized. Isaac shrugged. It was true, after all. He sighed.
"What I'm saying is, the bite doesn't solve anything. Power is an illusion. It is what you make of it." Isaac's voice lowered. "And if you haven't noticed, I haven't made the best use of it. The only time I've ever managed to beat up and Alpha is when he let me."
"But you don't have panic attacks. You don't feel like you're drowning all the time. I don't want to let the water in, but every second I hold my breath, it hurts more and more." Stiles' faced the opposite direction Isaac was in. "Ms. Morell quoted Churchill last time we talked. But I don't want to go through hell anymore. Scott is my friend and I'll do what it takes to help him, but I don't want this."
Isaac's hand tentatively crept towards Stiles' shoulder, and it hovered there, in mid-air, for a few seconds while Isaac decided if Stiles' would welcome the contact or not. He surely wanted to comfort the teen, and in a strange way he knew he would also be comforted by the reassurance that Stiles' was real and there, and they could rely on each other for that little while, at least. Stiles flinched when he felt the hand on his shoulder, but he relaxed into Isaac's touch, and turned around to stare into the beta's eyes.
The boys exchanged a silent and mutual thank you. Stiles leaned into Isaac, his back nuzzling his right arm and part of his chest. The human exhaled, and once again he relaxed – Isaac could tell by the amount of weight he put onto Isaac's body.
For the first time in a long while, both felt at peace. The silence in the woods, the soft light from Beacon Hills glowing in the background, the feel of their chests rising and falling, and the steady drumming of their heartbeats was enough. The hand that was on Stiles' left shoulder moved to his hair, and Isaac smoothed it down, taming it where Stiles had pulled it during the panic attack. Instinctively, Stiles melted even more into Isaac, his head leaning back. He looked into Isaac's eyes, and before he knew what he was doing, the beta leaned forward and locked their lips together. Isaac's left hand propped up Stiles' head, and his right found Stiles' throat, caressing it softly as they kissed. It seemed like it lasted forever, but Stiles' broke it off after a few seconds, and pushed Isaac away.
"Uh. Isaac. I, um… I." A blush crept up Stiles' neck and face, and he stammered nervously. "I have to go."
Isaac nodded silently, staring at the ground, looking everywhere but at Stilinski. Stiles muttered a hushed 'bye,' and walked away. The beta could feel Stiles' heart racing, but instead focused on the leaves crunching under his feet and the sound his footsteps made as Stiles made his way to the Jeep. The ignition turned and it roared to life, and Isaac bit his lip. He wasn't sure if what he did had been right or wrong. Wouldn't have Stiles reacted more positively if the feeling had been mutual? Isaac just didn't know.
It was only after the sound of the Jeep had faded away and the silence had returned that Isaac noticed that his heart was beating fast, faster than he had ever experienced due to pain, or fright, or nervousness. It was pure bliss, and Isaac knew.
For him, it'd been the rightest thing he could've ever done. But the question remained; what was going through Stiles' head?
And there we go. I want to make this an ongoing thing, shaping it around the show rather than going out around my tangent universe. But we'll see, whatever feels better will work. If anyone wants to beta or leave a review, that'd be great. Is the writing style a little too cold? Let me know, thanks in advance.