Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Twilight.
A/N: Carlisle's point of view of the transition from Bella's perspectiveto Jacob's in Breaking Dawn.
Threat from Within
No fear is greater than a parent faced with the possibility of losing their child. Being immortal I had never thought I would experience that fear. When Edward ran off to Italy to beg the Volturi to extinguish his life I was plunged into the depths of that hell. The waiting, the worrying, the gripping fear. The loss of Edward was very likely to lead to the loss of Alice as she chased after him, and the loss of Jasper would not be far behind. We would also lose Bella, who I had begun to see as a daughter. Nothing can compare to standing by helplessly knowing you have no control over the fate of three of your children. As we waited through those hours of agony I gripped the hand of my wifewho I could only imagine felt as terrified as I did. I vowed in that moment to never allow any situation like that to befall us again if my children could just come back alive.
When our children were home with us, I thought we were finally safe. That safety barely lasted a few weeks before a new threat was upon us. This time a newborn army. No amount of fight training with Jasper could prepare us for the realities of war. I was sick with worry, gripped again by the same terror I had felt while Alice, Edward and Bella were in Italy. Surviving that war had been a miracle and I was beyond thankful for the help we received from the wolves. It was because of them that my family remained intact. It was why I truly felt sorry for Jacob knowing why he always stood by to protect our family and knowing that no matter how hard he tried, he would lose the one thing he was desperately fighting for.
When Edward and Bella pledged their lives to one another, I thought that finally the danger was over. There were no more vampires out for revenge against my family anymore. Bella's transformation was merely weeks away and that would keep the Volturi off our backs. Therefore, we could finally go back to peace, living our lives the way we always did: surrounded by love.
This whole sense of security shattered while Edward and Bella were on their honeymoon. One moment Emmett and Jasper were placing bets about whether Edward chickened out on his side of the bargain or not and then Alice gasped as the book she was holding tumbled to the floor. Jasper was at her side in an instant. "Alice what is it?" he asked, gently leading her to the sofa to sit down.
"They've disappeared. Bella has disappeared."
"Jacob probably followed after her. I bet he showed up at their honeymoon," Emmett bellowed, laughter ringing in his voice.
"No you don't understand. Edward didn't disappear…only Bella. I can't see her."
"He probably got her alone," Emmett insisted, still working the theory that Jacob crashed their honeymoon.
"No, it's not the same. When the wolves are around her future goes blank. I can see bits and pieces if I try but something is obstructing my ability to see her future."
"Alice what does that mean?" I demanded.
She pulled out her phone and called Edward. We all waited, not breathing in preparation for the new danger we were all about to face. The phone rang far too long, considering we know our cell phones are ringing before it is obvious to humans. Given that our reflexes are much faster than humans as well, the delay gripped me tighter with the fear of danger.
Suddenly, the phone was answered and Bella's voice filled the room. We all breathed in relief. I had barely accepted that Edward and Bella were still alive when Bella asked to talk to me.
I took the phone from my daughter and prepared for whatever she needed to speak to me directly for. I slipped from the room to avoid the rest of the family overhearing whatever Bella felt she needed to tell me only.
After I hung up the phone I met four pairs of concerned eyes. I hadn't heard Esme enter the room. "They are on their way home?" Esme asked. I nodded, my eyes meeting hers hoping she would understand what I was about to do for my son and his wife. I looked to the door to the garage and wondered what Rosalie would think about this.
"So what is going on?" Alice asked.
"Emmett, go and get Rosalie," I said gently. The tone of my voice caused a new level of fear to slip across everyone's faces.
In seconds Emmett returned with Rosalie in tow. Her expression was different from everyone else's. She wasn't aware of the tense moment we all shared. "Did he kill her or something?" Rosalie asked. I cringed at the nonchalance in her voice.
"It seems I do not know everything there is to know about vampiric biology," I tried to explain.
"Did something happen to Edward?" Esme cried, but Alice shook her head since she knew she could still see Edward.
"Edward is physically fine. It seems our venom can do one thing I did not think possible."
"What happened to Bella?" Alice asked(.) Jasper's hand instinctively tightened around hers in response to her emotional state.
"While Edward and Bella were intimate, his venom impregnated her."
"WHAT?" Rosalie exclaimed, her voice filled with bitterness and agony.
"The fetus is already making her ill. Things are moving too quickly and Edward and I both fear that it will kill her."
"So what are you suggesting?" Rosalie asked.
"We have decided to terminate the pregnancy…" Before I had finished speaking I heard the door to the garage slam shut and the sound of Rosalie's M3 revving to life. Esme stayed by my side, though I imagined she wanted to have a similar reaction.
"I am going to gather supplies and prepare for their return home." I raced off to the nearest medical supply company to purchase an ultrasound machine and the necessary tools to perform a D&C.
Just as we were about to race off to the airport Esme stopped me in the doorway to our bedroom. "Is this really the only way?"
"It's what they want, Esme. If we allow this pregnancy to continue we will lose Bella." Esme said nothing more. She she had drifted over to the window. I sighed before walking over to her. "It's not a real baby, love."
"How do we know what it is?"
"What if she stayed pregnant and died and then the child turned out to be a monster that the Volturi would insist on destroying? Could we do that to Edward?"
"What if the child did not turn out that way?"
I sighed again. "This isn't our choice. We need to save Bella."
She nodded her head and then together we left the bedroom to head to the airport. The entire family insisted on joining us. I was afraid to hear Rosalie's opinion on the situation, but she remained remarkably quiet, almost pensive.
When Edward and Bella's plane landed we were gathered at the gate. We saw Bella first and it was impossible not to notice the obvious bulge on her abdomen. She looked much paler than the last time we had seen her, almost as pale as us.
As soon as they reached us, Bella let go of Edward's hand and I expected her to be greeting us, when without warning she ran into Rosalie's arms. It was so instantaneous that none of could have expected it, even Edward. Rosalie had spun Bella to put a barrier between Bella and Edward.
"No one touches her," Rosalie announced, only loud enough for our sensitive ears to hear. "If one of you so much as takes a step towards her I will make the biggest scene in the world."
"Rosalie this doesn't concern you. This isn't your child," Edward hissed.
"I asked for her help," Bella whispered.
"You what?" Edward demanded, looking past Rosalie to stare at his wife.
"I knew you wouldn't listen to me. She was my only chance at getting you to see reason. This child growing inside of me is ours Edward. I don't want to destroy him. I love him already."
Edward sputtered for something to say, but seemed to have nothing left in him. "Bella, you are much too fragile to carry this baby to term. Your human body cannot sustain this life," I said for Edward.
"You don't know that Carlisle. This is my child. If I die to give him life, then I think it's worth it."
"Bella…" Edward whispered with an agonized voice.
"Edward, please. This is our child."
"This is not a child Bella. We do not know what it is. It is a monster," Edward argued. Rosalie hissed in response.
"What if it is not, Edward?" Esme said gently.
"I am not willing to take that chance," Edward replied.
"That's not your choice Edward," Bella said, using all of her strength.
No one said anything for a moment and then Alice spoke. "Don't be ridiculous Bella. This will kill you." Jasper tightened his arm around Alice's waist.
"We don't expect you to understand Alice," Rosalie replied. Jasper hissed in response.
"Let's calm down and discuss this back at the house," I suggested.
"We're not going anywhere until we can trust that no one will lay a hand on Bella," Rosalie said.
"If you're going to do this there are medical tests that need to be done," I said quietly.
"We need to trust that you won't try and get Bella alone and force her to terminate," Rosalie replied.
"Let her make this choice," Esme said, pressing her hand into my arm.
I heard a hiss come from Emmett and looked at Edward who looked ready to pounce on Rosalie. "If we take Rosalie out of the picture temporarily we can save her," Edward said.
"Lay a hand on her and you're going through me," Emmett snarled.
"Jasper can you calm things down, please?" I asked before my family ended up killing each other. This danger seemed worse than all the others because for the first time we were truly divided. This danger that came from within our own family could destroy the very foundation of it.
A haze of calm spread through me and I saw everyone visibly relax whether they wanted to or not. "I don't want Bella to die either Edward, but it's her choice and I stand by my wife," Emmett said.
"Bella if you want a child all you need to do is stay human. There are sperm donors," Alice pleaded. Edward nodded his head in agreement with Alice.
"This is a baby," Bella argued, her voice much weaker than everyone else's.
"Promise me Carlisle," Esme said, looking me in the eyes. I wanted to agree with my son, I wanted to listen to Alice's reason, but the look in Esme's eyes killed my resolve. Her trust was everything to me.
"I won't harm the fetus," I promised and I heard the agonized sigh from Edward. I was his only hope.
Alice buried her face into Jasper's neck and I figured she would be crying if she could. Just like Edward she had just accepted this choice as Bella's death.
We left the airport together and Rosalie wouldn't even let Bella ride with Edward. If Bella so much as went to the bathroom I had a feeling Edward would go for Rosalie's throat.
Once we arrived home I went upstairs to set up the medical equipment. Alice entered the room, the pain in her eyes filled me with immense sadness and I knew those were the eyes I would see on Edward for possibly ever. I was suddenly gripped with the fear that losing Bella would most certainly lead to the loss of Edward. "There is nothing I can do Alice."
"It's really simple Carlisle. You can make it look natural. This thing has a heartbeat, it's half human and therefore vulnerable. You have to save her."
"Alice, it is Bella's choice," I said. "You are asking me to kill her child."
"It's not a child, it is a death sentence," Alice argued.
"Let me just perform some tests first. We don't know for sure," I said, and then was interrupted as the sound of Bella throwing up echoed through the house.
"She's going to die," Alice said firmly.
I sighed and then asked Rosalie to bring Bella up so I could run some tests. I considered Alice's words and knew I could do something to end this, but could I really do that?
The attempt to get an image on the ultrasound screen did not work. The layer around her uterus could not be penetrated by sound waves. I realized it wouldn't be so easy to rid her of this creature, as it was heavily protected. "Is he okay?" Bella asked nervously.
"I can't tell, Bella. I can't see anything."
"Save him, Carlisle. What is most important is that you save him."
"What if you're wrong? What if you die for nothing?"
"I know I am not wrong. Some day Edward will see it too."
"Even if you're not around to see it with him?"
"There isn't a choice here. Wouldn't you die to save one of your children?"
"Of course I would, but this is different. This fetus could turn out to be a savage monster intent on killing anything that stands in its way of human blood. The Volturi may decide it needs to be destroyed." Bella flinched at these words.
"Once you see him I know that you will realize that I was right and do anything in your power to save him from the Volturi."
I bowed my head in a silent prayer to carry my family through this new threat. I wondered if this was it. After God had answered all of my prayers in the past, could this finally be the end? Could it be that this child would be the ruin of us all? Could it be that even in God's eyes this child would be deemed an abomination? That to him no marriage could bind an immortal with a mortal and this sin was the very thing to destroy us?
I looked up again to see Rosalie leaning in the door frame. "You really can't see the baby?" she asked, her eyes looking crestfallen. I shook my head, seeming to have lost the composure to speak.
"Come on then, Bella. Let's get you back downstairs and make you comfortable. Do you think you'd like to try eating anything?" she crooned. Bella shook her head, her face turning a shade of puce at the thought of food. "I know it might be uncomfortable but you need to make sure the baby gets proper nutrients."
"Don't make her feel guilty Rosalie," Edward warned from downstairs.
"I am stating facts Edward. This child needs to be fed, and Bella's body needs nutrients, too, in order carry this baby to term," Rosalie said, as she and Bella had reached the sitting room where everyone was waiting.
"Everyone, just stop arguing," Alice exclaimed, her voice carrying an element of pain. I went into the room to join my family and even without Jasper's gift I could almost see the tension that hung across the room.
"Are you all right Alice?" I asked, not trying to conceal my panic as I should have.
"I'm fine. It's just difficult to not be able to see anything."
"Maybe you should just stop trying," I suggested.
"NO!" Edward shouted. "I need to know that she will make it."
Jasper's growl was menacing and we all froze. He rarely displayed such intense anger but knowing how protective he was of Alice, it was dangerous to continue upsetting him.
"It's not going to hurt her to look into the future," Edward replied to Jasper's thoughts.
"You always ask the world of us to protect her Edward. Bella matters more to you than all of us and you are always willing to put her ahead of us, no matter the cost. We have all risked our lives for your relationship with a human. Do not ask my wife to suffer."
"It's okay Jazz. I'll be fine," Alice whispered, pulling on his arm to turn him away from the confrontation.
"Like you haven't put Alice before us all as well, Jasper. She is all that matters to you."
"I have never asked any one of you to endanger your lives. Alice matters the most to me, but I don't put any of you at risk in order to protect her."
"Would you have had me die? Would you rather I had attempted to take on the threats to Bella myself?"
"I am asking you to consider all that you have asked of us. I am asking you to think of your sister. She has risked her life more than once for your relationship with Bella. You always put so much weight and expectation on Alice. You think her visions are there for you to use at your leisure whenever you desire. You make her doubt herself when you ask so much of her, as if every time she lets you down is a personal failure. I will not stand by and allow you to treat her this way anymore."
"Jasper," Alice whispered harshly. "Let's go for a walk."
Jasper turned to Alice then, and she pulled him out the door. None of us had moved throughout that confrontation, except that Rosalie had fluffed Bella's pillows and made sure she was comfortable on the couch. I waited another second before turning to address my family. "This situation is very intense for all of us, but we must get through it as a family. Bella has made her choice and we shall do nothing more to cause her duress. Her body is not strong enough to handle anymore fighting. I am asking you all to accept this decision as final and we shall speak of it no more." As soon as I finished speaking, I reached for Esme's hand and together the two of us left the room so that I could clear my head.
Once we were alone in my study Esme pressed her cheek against my shoulder. "Oh Carlisle, this is pulling us apart," she sighed.
"I know Love. It scares me as well."
"Jasper was not wrong in what he said to Edward," she whispered.
"I love my son and I understand his need to protect the love of his life, but I agree that his uncompromising nature in expecting us to risk our lives to protect her is not always right."
"It's not as if we wouldn't do it, but he just expects us to without a consideration for all that we may have to give up to save his relationship."
"It was strange to not hear Rosalie's side on the matter," I murmured. "Especially given all that she had to say over the last year in regards to Edward's relationship."
"Bella has finally made the choice that Rosalie would have made."
"Was I wrong to change her?" I asked, my eyes searching for an answer Esme couldn't give me.
"No. Rosalie does not begrudge you the choice you made. She loves Emmett. Rosalie can't help but grieve the life she lost."
"When she speaks of being changed, she speaks of it as something she wished had never happened."
"She wishes that it had never had to happen. She wishes that she could have had a normal human life. She is still grieving Carlisle. However, she loves you like a father and I know that she doesn't hate you for the choice you made."
"What if I can't save Bella? What if this child grows up an orphan?"
"No matter the outcome, this child will be born into a loving family. Between you, me, Rosalie and Emmett, we will definitely give this child the love they deserve. I have faith that Alice and Jasper will come around, and by some miracle I have to believe that Edward will too."
"Your everlasting faith in things working out never fails to give me hope," I whispered before lowering my lips to hers.
"I know our love will hold us together. Things may be tenuous but we will survive this. Nothing can tear us apart," she said, a smile of determination sliding across her face. "Now let's go check on your patient."