Author's Note: Written entirely in a script format, I came up with this concept when I was EXTREMELY bored one day. It stars major final fantasy characters as well as some various appearances from other animes. I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Oh, and for the record, I didn't steal this. I'm merely transferring it to this account... I forgot my old password and login. . Oh, and the thing about Fujin... well, if you've played the game, you'll know that she hardly says more than one word. I decided to play that to my advantage. XD A few more character explanations... Cloud is mysterious as ever, Selphie's slightly paranoid and delusional, and Seifer is stuck on Rinoa... still. Oh, Sephiroth is still his deranged self and obsessed with Jenova and Meteor, and Irvine is still, well, perverted Irvine. Oh, and making Tifa and Rinoa bitchy was fun. :P
RATING: PG for Some Thematic Elements
Survivor - Episode One
Strange Mysterious Voice:
Hello, and welcome to Survivor! Here's our host, Fujin!
Fujin:
WELCOME!
Strange Mysterious Voice:
On Survivor, we send our contestants to a little island and see how they get along and survive. Now Fujin, why don't you tell me what all is going to happen on that island...
Fujin:
WAR!
Strange Mysterious Voice:
Well, that might happen, but what else?
Fujin:
HATE!
Strange Mysterious Voice:
Doesn't that go along with war?
Fujin:
MONEY?
Strange Mysterious Voice:
That's right! The last sane person left on the island will win the "Mysterious Sum of Prize Money!"
Fujin:
smiles
Strange Mysterious Voice:
Now, let's meet our contestants, all from Final Fantasy VII and VIII, Sephiroth, Seifer, Zell, Rinoa, Squall, Irvine, Selphie, Tifa, Aeris, Cloud, and Yuffie.
ALL CHARACTERS WALK OUT ON STAGE, THEN SIT IN THE CHAIRS.
Yuffie:
Oh, thank you my audience! You just love me and my beautiful materia... if I had any... glares at Cloud
Aeris:
How am I alive? looks around, and her eyes lock on Cloud
Cloud:
shrugs
Tifa:
looks at Aeris and Cloud and feels a pang of jealousy. She looks around the room and her eyes lock on Squall Well HELLO, handsome.
Squall:
Do I know you?
Tifa:
No, not that I know of. blushes
Rinoa:
looks at Squall and Tifa Uh... Squall...
Squall:
Hm? still looking at Tfa questioningly
Sephiroth:
Meteor... Meteor... Meteor...
Fujin:
CUTE!
Seifer:
HA! MY DREAM WILL COME TRUE!
ALL CHARACTERS LOOK AT SEIFER
Seifer:
What? Why is everyone staring at me? Do I have a booger on my nose or something? rubs his nose furiously
Strange Mysterious Voice:
Excuse me, everyone...
Tifa:
finally breaks her gaze on Squall Bathroom's down the hall...
Rinoa:
You are SO last Final Fantasy.
Tifa:
At least I'm not the next generation of whore!
Rinoa:
WELL YOU WERE LAST GENERATION! And sorry sweetheart, but you're starting to look saggy... can you say 'Wonderbra?'
Tifa:
glares at Rinoa
Rinoa:
glares at Tifa
Strange Mysterious Voice:
Excuse me...
Selphie:
looks scared AAH! It's the ghost of Christmas Past!
Squall:
Oh Lord... save them all.
Sephiroth:
You wanted something?
Rinoa:
still glaring at Tifa Ugh! get this... thing... away from me! Just looking at it makes me sick!
Irvine:
I feel a catfight comin' on... Ripping at hair, and clothes, and... clothes... and... I feel happy... stares off into space
Sephiroth:
Chicken...
Fujin:
I LIKE CHICKEN! runs up to Sephiroth and plants a big wet one on him
Sephiroth:
Not good! Not good! SANCTUARY! falls down and begins having a seizure
Cloud:
drool runs down his chin and lands on the convulsing Sephiroth Now YOU know how it feels to be a shaky maniac!
Strange Mysterious Voice:
EXCUSE ME...
Tifa:
breaks her glare from Rinoa For the LAST TIME, the bathroom is DOWN THE HALL!
Strange Mysterious Voice:
FINE! I'll go to the #$& bathroom! a door opens near the back of the room, and a rather short and balding man walks out. He exits the stage
Fujin:
YAY! runs into the door the short man left open, slamming it behind her. She begins screaming into the microphone AIEEEEEE!
Aeris:
Make it stop!
Zell:
Oh the humanity, oh the pain... hey, is that a hotdog? reaches for a hotdog on a nearby table
RINOA AND TIFA BEGIN TO YELL AT EACH OTHER, ONLY MAKING THE NOISE WORSE
Yuffie:
HA! I can probably scream even louder! doesn't scream, but begins to screech
Squall:
I'm DYING here.
Irvine:
I think girls look sexy when they scream... still staring into space
Selphie:
The ghost... the ghost... why does the ghost of Christmas Past haunt me... WHY?
THE SHORT MAN RETURNS AND THROWS FUJIN OUT OF THE MICROPHONE ROOM
Strange Mysterious Voice:
Well, I'm afraid that's all the time for today. GOODBYE NOW.
Fujin:
stumbles into the camera trying to get up AAH!
EVERYTHING GOES FUZZY